


Fairy Tail Lists

by icemakestars, YuGiOhRox



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: It's me attempting humour, Multi, Oh look, Random & Short
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-06 11:17:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 160
Words: 61,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4219716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icemakestars/pseuds/icemakestars, https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuGiOhRox/pseuds/YuGiOhRox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Compilation of 'lists' relating to Fairy Tail, expect many (random) ships and crazy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (Okay so the story with this is I’m inspired by Bleachlists on Tumblr – who gave me permission to do this – and I wanted to do one of these for Fairy Tail but as a FanFiction. I hope they’re fun enough and that you enjoy them!) Not meant to make any particular sense and I may break the fourth wall a little)  
> None of this lists will have continuations, all are separate unless one of them is a direct sequel.

**FT Characters! You've just found out that Natsu and Lucy are dating! What is your reaction?**

**Mirajane:** My OTP is canon~

**Happy:** I knew that they were totally in love!

**Erza:** Well done Natsu, you and Lucy are a wonderful match together; I hope you’re very happy.

**Natsu:** Thanks Erza!

**Erza:** But of course you know that if you hurt her, I will come and set things straight. Same thing for you Lucy.

**Lucy:** Yes Erza [scared].

**Natsu:** …

**Gray:** Hey Natsu, what’s with that?

**Natsu:** If she ever came to ‘set things straight’ that means I get to fight her right?!

**Lucy:** Natsu!

**Natsu:** What?!

**Erza:** [demon face] So you’re already thinking of hurting her are you Natsu? Unforgivable!

[Erza on Natsu violence!]

**Gray:** Well I’m also glad that they’re together, they make a good pair and they’re used to one another’s weirdness. Though I make the same threat as Erza to you Natsu, don’t mess this up.

**Lucy:** He won’t…

**Gray:** …Have you been taking lessons from Erza for fear factor?

**Lucy:** What?

**Gray:** What?

**Levy:** I’m so happy Lu-chan has got together with Natsu, they’re so cute!

**Gajeel:** I’m surprised that idiot Salamander could get a date, especially with the cute blondie.

**Natsu:** …Back off my girlfriend Gajeel.

**Gajeel:** Hey I wasn’t-

**Natsu:** And just who were you calling an idiot?

**Gajeel:** You.

**Natsu:** Dammit, you’re the idiot here!

**Gajeel:** I’M NOT AN IDIOT!! YOU ARE!

**Natsu:** YEAH WELL I’M THE ONE WHO MANAGED TO GET A GIRLFRIEND!

**Lucy:** Please leave me out of this?

**Gajeel:** DON’T THINK THAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL, I CAN GET A GIRL ANY TIME I WANT!

**Natsu:** Alright then, prove it! [looks at levy]

**Gajeel:** …Maybe later.

**Natsu:** Coward.

**Gajeel:** AM NOT!

[Gajeel and Natsu violence!]

**Juvia:** …

**Lucy:** Juvia, are you okay?

**Juvia:** Juvia’s love rival is in a relationship that is not with my Gray-sama, leaving Gray-sama all alone…

**Lucy:** I keep telling you that I’m not a love-

**Juvia:** JUVIA APPROVES OF THIS COUPLE!

**Juvia:** Gray-sama is all mine now~

**Cana:** Good to see that my girl’s got herself a man, she finally found her first boyfriend.

**Cana:** Guess I should get one now… [looking round the guild hall] So Gray-

**Juvia:** LOVE RIVAL!

**Laxus:** So Natsu’s finally getting laid huh? Good for him.

**Makarov:** Yes, it’s always so heart-warming to see my children growing up and pairing off.

**Mirajane:** Master, are you crying?

**Makarov:** …No.

**Wendy:** I’m very happy that Natsu and Lucy are with each other now, and I hope that they stay together forever!

**Lucy:** Aww, thank you Wendy!

**Natsu:** Yeah, thanks Wendy!

**Gajeel:** GET BACK HERE AND FIGHT ME!

[More Natsu and Gajeel violence!]

**Erza:** Alright, that’s enough you two.

[Table flies into Erza!]

**Natsu & Gajeel: **Uh oh.

[Erza on Natsu & Gajeel violence!]

**Loke:** Well Princess, hope you’re happy.

**Lucy:** Thank you Loke.

**Mirajane:** You’re taking this well Loke; I thought you’d be a little more upset about this.

**Loke:** Nah, it’s fine as long as they’re good to one another.

**Loke:** In the meantime, I’m going back to the Celestial World and totally not going to lie in bed crying.

**Cana:** So Loke…


	2. Chapter 2

**FT characters! Wendy has gone through puberty! What is your reaction?**

(As requested by a guest)

 

**Natsu:** Wow Wendy, have you grown?

**Wendy:** No, I’m still the same as always.

**Lucy:** Ah I’m so proud!

**Carla:** Well it’s about time, if I do say so myself.

**Cana:** So am I going to be the only one to comment about how her boobs are still really tiny or not?

**Wendy:** I-I still have time to grow!

**Mirajane:** Now Wendy, there are somethings we’ll have to talk about later.

**Romeo:** Dad is she talking about what you had to tell me about girls?

**Macao:** Yep.

**Romeo:** Wendy, I’m very sorry.

**Wendy:** ???

**Mirajane:** Don’t worry; we can make it much later.

**Romeo:** [whispers] Be prepared to cover your ears a lot.

**Erza:** Does this mean that we can include her in regular girl talk now Lucy?

**Lucy:** Only if you tone it down a bit.

**Erza:** But my Jellal stories are okay right?

**Lucy:** Maybe tone it down a lot.

**Gildarts:** She’s going to be very pretty when she grows up isn’t she?

**Erza:** …

**Lucy:** …

**Natsu:** …

**Carla:** …

**Mirajane:** …

**Gildarts:** What?

**Cana:** Not cool dad.

**Sting:** Hey Rogue, do you think this is a good time to share stories about when we went through this?

**Rogue:** …No.

**Sting:** Aww come on! She was born in the same year as us!

**Rogue:** And was frozen for seven years. Let her guild handle it, and you can share your stories another time.

**Sting:** You mean we can share our stories right?

**Rogue:** No.

**Bickslow:** Good for her, growing into an adult is fun!

**Evergreen:** Well I disagree; having all those horrible spots was a nightmare!

**Bickslow:** That shouldn’t have been a problem; you could just hide behind your fan.

**Evergreen:** I didn’t have my fan then Bickslow.

**Evergreen:** I mean it’s not like you wore a mask all the time.

**Bickslow:** …

**Evergreen:** You didn’t, did you?

**Bickslow:** …No, of course not. That would be silly.

**Bickslow:** Heh.

**Freed:** I’m sure Wendy has just moved forward onto the path to becoming an incredibly unique and strong person, don’t you agree Laxus?

**Laxus:** The kid should do alright.

**Makarov:** Of course we shall all be there for you Wendy should you ever need anything. And if you ever have any questions we will answer them.

**Carla:** Not _all_ I should hope. [glares]

**Makarov:** I don’t see why we shouldn’t; it makes things a lot easier for us if she knows about all the- aah!

[Carla on Makarov violence!]


	3. Chapter 3

**Fans ship you with Lucy, what is your reaction?**

**Dan Straight:** YES PLEASE!

**Dan Straight:** My Lulu Pie and I are destined for one another!

**Lucy:** Aren’t you a filler character? Filler doesn’t count.

**Dan Straight:** Filler totally counts!

**Cana:** Eh, I could get into it.

**Lucy:** Cana?!

**Cana:** What? We had Tenrou Island together, and that was full of shippy moments. We fought side by side against Freed and Bickslow in only bikinis! We relaxed at a pool together and got naked, I’m almost sure that we did something together off screen. I groped you with a smile on my face, and I don’t grope that many people.

**Lucy:** That last one is not a reason; Natsu’s groped me too and also seen me naked!

**Cana:** Oh yeah, well I guess I’m out of the running.

**Lucy:** What’s that supposed to mean?!

**Erza:** Lucy is one of my best friends in the world and I care for her deeply. I can see why the fans ship us, we’re hot.

**Lucy:** Erza, not you too?!

**Erza:** They are by definition crazy shippers Lucy, just go with the flow.

**Lucy:** …

**Mirajane:** I’m a little surprised that people might ship me with her; I have a bit of a reputation for trying to set her up with other people; namely Natsu.

**Laxus:** Meh, she’s pretty cute, I’d do her.

[Cue bright red Lucy!]

**Juvia:** Juvia would not date her love rival, Juvia will only date Gray-sama~

**Gray:** Well she’s pretty, and we always have each other’s backs, Lucy’s one of my best friends in the world. I’m not surprised people could see us together.

**Juvia:** Gray-sama!

**Gray:** What? We just have that sort of chemistry.

**Gajeel:** Why would they ship me with her? Is blondie a masochist or something? I beat the crap out of her after taking her away from her friends and comrades, who I also beat the crap out of, but she should call me anyway. For reasons.

**Pantherlily:** I told you I could help you get with Levy Gajeel, why don’t you trust me?

**Gajeel:** …You be quiet.

**Levy:** Well we both love reading, and we both danced together on stage for Gajeel in those bunny girl outfits… Do you think if I dated Lu-chan she’d let me take a look at her novel earlier?

**Background Gajeel:** Why is she showing interest?

**Hibiki:** Well I’d love to spend more time with Lucy; she can come and see me any time. [wink]

**Loke:** She should summon me out more; I’d love to be the one to ‘light up her life.’

**Sting:** Who is this Lucy and why am I being shipped with her?

**Rogue:** She’s the blonde Fairy Tail Celestial wizard who Minerva beat up in the Naval Battle. Best friends with Natsu.

**Sting:** Have we even talked outside of those Kemokemo filler episodes?

**Rogue:** I… don’t think so.

**Makarov:** YES. YES. SHIP ME WITH LUCY!!!

**Mirajane:** I don’t think anyone actually pairs you two up Master.

**Lucy:** Natsu? You’ve been awfully quiet.

**Natsu:** So shipping is pairing up two people you think would be good together?

**Lucy:** Yeah.

**Natsu:** Can you come back to me please?

**Zeref:** I’m not entirely sure I’ve ever been in the same vicinity as this… Lucy. And I really think it’s best for me to stay away from people.

**Jellal:** Ditto.

**Bickslow:** Cheerleader’s alright I guess, I’d take extra good care of her soul.

**Freed:** No respectable young lady flaunts that much of her body to a gentleman in combat.

**Lisanna:** I’m surprised people would pair us up, aren’t we supposed to be fighting for Natsu’s love?

**Lucy:** I’m pretty sure that’s just fan interpretation, and while we’re on the subject… Natsu?

**Natsu:** You are my best friend and I know I can always count on you Lucy… I’d want to stay with you forever.

**Pretty much everyone:** Aww.


	4. Chapter 4

**FT Characters! How do you react to the manga chapter 324?**

(Requested by PalaDude234)

 

 **Rogue:** Why am I killing this friend of Natsu Dragneel? Hasn’t that future version of me remembered the beating Sting and I took at his hands?

 **Natsu:** That bastard killed Lucy? DAMMIT WHERE IS HE?! I’LL KILL HIM!

 **Erza:** Calm down Natsu. It’s the future version of her, our Lucy is perfectly fine.

 **Lucy:** [dead eyes and shaking]

 **Erza:** …Well mostly.

 **Virgo:** I can’t believe that a part of the Princess died.

 **Loke:** Me neither, I was standing right there and I couldn’t do anything! [sobs]

 **Virgo:** Punishment time, yes?

 **Makarov:** You can destroy my guild hall, you can take my magic away, you can even threaten to unleash 10,000 dragons on the world, but the one thing I will not stand for is when someone harms one of my children!

 **Makarov:** Fairy Tail, prepare for war!

 **Mirajane:** That guy is so dead! [Satan Soul] I swear I’m going to tear him apart!

 **Gray:** …

 **Juvia:** …

 **Gray:** That guy is screwed already but I _will_ get my own hits in, right? Nobody gets away with hurting my friends!

 **Juvia:** Only Juvia should hurt her love rival, and not even then.

 **Juvia:** There will be blood.

 **Levy:** Lu-chan, no…

 **Pantherlily:** It’s alright Levy, it wasn’t really Lucy, keep telling yourself that.

 **Levy:** IT WAS STILL VERY TRAUMATIZING TO SEE!!

 **Lisanna:** Elf-nii, we’re going to get that guy back for trying to kill Lucy, aren’t we?

 **Elfman:** Of course we are Lisanna, we’ll get him. It’s the manly thing to do.

 **Lucy:** Natsu?

 **Natsu:** Yeah Luce?

 **Lucy:** Don’t hurt him too badly, please?

 **Natsu:** WHAT?!

 **Lucy:** Well, it’s just… I’d like to get my own punches in.

 **Natsu:** …Yeah, I think I can hold back a little.

 **Future Rogue:** …Rude.


	5. Chapter 5

**FT Characters! You’ve just found out that Lyon and Gray are dating! How do you react?**

(As requested by Blue Blast) THANK YOU SO MUCH!!)

 

 **Juvia:** … … … [tears flooding all of Magnolia]

 **Natsu:** Well I didn’t see this one coming!

 **Lucy:** You really are an idiot aren’t you Natsu?

 **Natsu:** What was that?

 **Lucy:** Nothing. But this was inevitable really.

 **Mirajane:** How do you figure?

 **Lucy:** Well for one they have a history, and the chemistry has stayed over the years. Sparks are always flying no matter when they meet. Two, they actually care about each other very much. Lyon joined a guild in the first place because Gray suggested it and in the battle against the Oracion Seis, Gray trusted Lyon to carry out their plan so he could take down Racer.

 **Meredy:** And when Gray was killed in the Dragon Invasion, Lyon screamed his name in heartbreak!

 **Lucy:** What?

 **Meredy:** …Nothing.

 **Lucy:** Anyway, I wonder what Erza… thinks about… all this. Oh you’ve got to be kidding.

 **Erza:** [passed out from nose-bleeding]

 **Mirajane:** I guess you forgot to mention that it’s just really hot.

 **Levy:** Didn’t Lyon say he was in love with Juvia?

 **Gajeel:** That is either a lie, or it was a cover so he’d have an excuse to see Gray.

 **Levy:** You’re saying he was just using her?!

 **Laxus:** Sounds more like a sex toy to me.

 **Juvia:** I am… surprisingly okay with that.

 **Levy:** I need to go scrub my brain!

 **Gajeel:** I maybe shouldn’t have said anything.

 **Elfman:** Well at least it’s a manly couple!

 **Lisanna:** Too hot, brain going into overload, imminent meltdown…

 **Ur:** Not exactly what I had in mind whenever I said I wanted them to be closer to one another…

 **Ultear:** Well I approve. But if Lyon hurts Gray I’ll hunt him down and make him wish he’d never existed.

 **Loke:** Well good for you Gray! Finally got to dating with Lyon. I predict many make-outs in your future.

 **Lyon & Gray:** Well there’s a thought…

 **Erza:** [wakes up and sees Lyon and Gray making out] [passes out again]

 **Mirajane:** I’m not cleaning that up.

 **Makarov:** My child is happy, I am happy. They should be good to each other.

 **Makarov:** On another note, Gray, may I please have some pictures of your activities with Lyon? I find that boy’s love is quite popular with the ladies.

 **Gray:** …

 **Lyon:** …

 **Gray:** …I-

 **Lyon:** Just-

 **Gray & Lyon:** [looks at each other] [looks at Makarov]

 **Gray & Lyon:** Ice Make…!


	6. Chapter 6

**FT Characters! You’ve just learned that Ultear and Juvia are dating! How do you react?**

**Gray:** I have no objections to this, but how does this pairing make sense?

 **Lyon:** It’s pretty obvious Gray.

 **Gray:** How?!

 **Lyon:** Because at the time they met on an island Ultear was a villain. And she was going to stab Juvia.

 **Gray:** So they’re dating now why?

 **Lyon:** I imagine they would have been dating a lot earlier if Ultear had managed to stab Juvia, so clearly their relationship has been delayed.

 **Gray:** …That does not answer my question.

 **Lyon:** [sigh] When you’re a villain on an island and you stab someone; that is the way you demonstrate your feelings. Obviously.

 **Gray:** So on Galuna…?

 **Lyon:** Yes Gray, I love you deeply.

 **Lucy:** …Let’s say that theory is true, how did Ultear have ‘feelings’ to demonstrate to Juvia.

 **Natsu:** It may have been just a crush then, which is why she was going to stab Juvia while she was unconscious.

 **Lucy:** Why are you buying into this crackpot theory?

 **Lyon:** See Gray? Natsu understands.

 **Gray:** WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING ANYMORE?!

 **Meredy:** Does this mean I have two Mums now?

 **Jellal:** No… Yeah… Maybe… I don’t… [passed out from blood loss]

 **Mirajane:** Do you think it’s just for fan service?

 **Erza:** Most likely. I mean, look at them.

 **Lucy:** It might actually be something interesting to try…

 **Levy:** Do you want to try it with me Lu-chan?

 **Jet & Droy: **Levy no! I’ll be a girl for you Levy! [glares at one another]

[Jet and Droy violence!]

 **Ghost Ur:** This perhaps wasn’t what I wanted for my daughter but I hope she’s happy. Why shouldn’t this be another water and ice ship?

 **Ultear:** [shivers] I feel supported…

 **Makarov:** May I please have box of tissues? [nosebleed]


	7. Chapter 7

**FT Characters! You’ve just caught Laxus and Freed making out in the closet! How do you react?**

(As requested by Blue Blast)

 **Lucy:** Um, I gotta go and start writing a new novel!

 **Mirajane:** Cute blush Freed. [winks] [leaves them alone to continue]

 **Erza:** [shuts the door quietly with a red face]

 **Natsu:** Hey what are you two doing?

 **Laxus:** …

 **Freed:** … [hiding a red face in Laxus’ chest]

 **Natsu:** [sent flying by Laxus’ punch]

 **Gray:** Yeah I’m gonna go…

 **Gray:** I think I’ll call Lyon…

 **Sting:** Did Rufus dye his hair green?

 **Rogue:** Come away Sting, this is a potential health hazard zone.

 **Sting:** How come?

 **Rogue:** You do see Laxus Dreyar glaring at you right?

 **Makarov:** Please just let me be going senile.

 **Cana:** Yeah I’m just gonna stand here and watch you for a minute, k?

 **Orga:** This had better not mean I have to start kissing Rufus.

 **Lyon:** I think I’ll call Gray…

 **Juvia:** B-b-boys love!?

 **Gildarts:** And they say it’s weird to think about your _parents_ doing it.

 **Evergreen:** … [scowls]

 **Bickslow:** … [grins]

 **Evergreen:** Oh here’s your money.

 **Bickslow:** I totally called this.

 **Elfman:** Manly. [sent flying via Laxus punch]

 **Levy:** [casually drops her books on the floor to set a recording lacrima to watch later]

 **Freed:** [is aware of what she planned and continues with a large blush on his face]

 **Hibiki, Ren & Eve:** We can’t let the boss see this.

 **Master Bob:** Well aren’t you two yummy?

 **Ichiya:** Meeeen!

 **Hibiki, Ren & Eve:** [facepalm] Why do we even bother?


	8. Chapter 8

**FT Characters at the Inappropriate Auditions!**

**(I haven’t heard some of these but I’m working from the title.) Lyon is singing to Gray FYI)**

**Cobra:** Hello. I’m auditioning for the role of Cobra and I’ll be singing Poison by Bill Bev Devoe.

**Gray:** Hello. I’m auditioning for the role of Gray and I’ll be singing Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice.

**Juvia:** Juvia is auditioning to be Juvia and she will be singing Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head by BJ Thomas.

**Natsu:** I’m auditioning to be Natsu and I’m singing Burn by Three Days Grace.

**Lucy:** I’m trying out to be Lucy and I’ll be singing Big Girls Cry by Sia.

**Erza:** I plan on becoming Erza Scarlet and I’ll sing you Warrior by Imagine Dragons.

**Mirajane:** Hello, I’m auditioning to be Mirajane and I’m going to sing Demons by Imagine Dragons.

**Elfman:** I’m auditioning to be Elfman and I’ll sing My Demons by Starset.

**Kyoka:** I’m auditioning for the role of Kyoka and I’ll be singing Pain by Three Days Grace.

**Sayla:** I’m trying to audition for Sayla and I will sing Under Control by Calvin Harris.

**Rogue:** Hello. I’m auditioning for the role of Rogue and I’ll be singing I’m Shot in the Dark by Within Temptation.

**Sting:** Yo, I’m auditioning to be Sting Eucliffe and I’m gonna sing Lights by Ellie Goulding.

**Lyon:** I’m auditioning for Lyon’s role and I’m singing I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace.

**Bacchus:** I want to audition for Bacchus Groh and I’m going to sing Wild Child by W.A.S.P.

**Cana:** Hi, I’m auditioning for Cana and I’ll be singing Cuz I’m Drunk by Chris Webby.

**Racer:** Hey, I wanna be Racer so I’m singing Speedy Gonzales by Pat Boone.

**Laxus:** I‘m gonna sing Lightning Bolt by Jake Bugg for the role of Laxus.

**Evergreen:** I’ll be Evergreen and sing Fairy by Lady Gaga.

**Franmalth:** To audition for the part of Franmalth I will sing Carnivore by Starset.

**Jura:** I’d quite like to play Jura and I’ll be singing Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd.

**Gajeel:** For the role of Gajeel I’m going to sing Break Down the Walls by Sevendust.

**Pantherlily:** To audition for the role of Pantherlily I’m going to sing Eye of the Tiger by Survivor.

**Levy:** Hello. I’m auditioning for the part of Levy and I’ll be singing Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson.

**Wendy:** I’m really hoping to play Wendy so I’ll be singing Skyfall by Adele.

**Master Bob:** For the role of Master Bob, dear, I’m singing If You Were Gay by Avenue Q.

**Porlyusica:** To be Porlyusica I’ll be singing Leave Me Alone by Pink.


	9. Chapter 9

**The Natsu Rules.**

(A (will likely be) rare serious one)

**Rule One:** **Don’t beat him up.** He’ll either, get some sort of power up and beat you until your eyes roll back into your forehead and you’re practically comatose, or he will learn a new tactic that drives you to your defeat.

Example of this: _His fight with Erigor. He had a flashback to when he was a child and Macao tried telling him another way to use his fire. He then pulled himself up to the bridge by a giant hand made of fire. And after that he managed to redirect Erigor’s wind barrier by making his flames so intense that the air pressure changed (or something, I don’t remember exactly)._

Exception to this: _Be Gray. Those two are pretty evenly matched and whenever they brawl in the guild, Natsu does not power up and he doesn’t think of any new tactics. Even if it’s a ‘play’ fight. Or be Erza, Natsu can just never beat her._

Tip for Villains: _If you find yourself dealing with an unstoppable angry Natsu Dragneel, run for the hills, you won’t beat him._

**Rule Two: Don’t hurt his friends.** He will get pissed, and he will destroy you. Always remember that his friends/family means everything to him and he will get back at you for harming them in any way.

Example of this: _During the Tower of Heaven arc when Jellal tried to sacrifice Erza, Natsu bust in to the top floor of that thing and ate the Etherion to take down Jellal. Nothing will ever stop him from protecting his comrades, so it’d be best to leave them alone._

Exception to this: _If you are plotting something evil against Fairy Tail, do it at the Grand Magic Games, which is where Natsu can’t really do anything to help his comrades when they’re in the arena. He wasn’t able to help Lucy in the Naval Battle and only had the chance to do something about it afterwards when he ran to her side and confronted Minerva with Gray and Erza. Even though he wanted to help, he couldn’t at that time._

Tip for Villains: _If you plan to get at Natsu or the guild, deal with one of their members where they can’t get to you. Though do take into account that when someone he cares about is in danger, Natsu will become very determined and hunt you down, he has the nose of a dragon after all. In case this happens, you should see Rule One._

**Rule Three: He will have his silly moments and act like a child.** While these usually happen in the guild hall, Natsu will have his moments where he acts like a big kid, not all of his fights are serious after all.

Example of this: _His battle with Cobra. Apparently he thought a joke that was really funny that it even made Cobra laugh and was maybe even quite explicit seeing as he wouldn’t tell Happy. He even made it a pretty fun thing as he was treating Cobra’s super hearing very lightly, taking it as just some sort of parlour mind reading trick._

Exception to this: _Big bad fights. During every arc, when there is the new ‘big bad’ Natsu takes that fight more seriously than anything. When he was fighting Jellal, Laxus, Master Hades or Faust in the Dorma Anim, there were not any jokes present, maybe some impassioned speeches that inspire the people on his side, but no jokes._

Tip for Villains: _Think of something incredibly funny to have him rolling on the floor where you can take advantage of his childishness. But do be sure to take care of him properly, again see Rule One. He is also very sensitive about his father Igneel, for best results tap into that vulnerability; he is really just a child looking for his parent after all._

**Rule Four: He has ‘pyro senses’ and is very destructive.** He loves setting things on fire and destroying things, namely buildings.

Example of this: _He admitted to pyro senses during his and Lucy’s fight against Kain Hikaru of Grimoire Heart, just before he set Lucy on fire._

Exception to this: _Admittedly not many, his magic involves fires starting on parts of his body while he fights you. Though he does sometimes restrain himself when he’s in really big trouble with Master Makarov._

Tip for Villains: _Before your reveal as a major enemy, try luring him to an area with lots of stuff to break, a forest does well or a field, maybe where the grass has been freshly mowed or balled up into hay. Or do something to get him in a fight with Gray. The damage resulting from that encounter will give you time to slip by and set any possible plans in place, or will hopefully tire him out enough that he isn’t at full strength when you yourself battle._

**Rule Five: If you kidnap his friends, he will come for you.** Fairly self-explanatory.

Example of this: _When Lucy was kidnapped by Phantom Lord, he took one of the guild members and burned him to find out where she was. And when Erza and Happy were taken by the Tower of Heaven Crew he instantly went to save them._

Exception to this: _I’m pretty sure there are no exceptions to this._

Tip for Villains: _See Rule Two._

I hope this list has taught you how to properly take care of one Natsu Dragneel, whatever your intentions are.


	10. Chapter 10

**FT Characters! You’ve just found out that Lucy and Yukino are dating! How do you react?**

**Hisui:** The Celestial Wizards are together? How wonderful!

 **Arcadios:** Yes, they worked very well together to close the Eclipse Gate; this should be a wonderful couple.

 **Arcadios:** And I am in no way influenced by the way their cleavage pressed together as they summoned the zodiac.

 **Sting:** Wow good for you Yukino! It’s great that you can encourage inter-communication between different guilds! I am completely behind this couple!

 **Rogue:** If they’re lesbians for one another they aren’t going to let you join in Sting.

 **Sting:** Hey let a guy dream!

 **Sting:** And anyway can you honestly say that you don’t think this ship is super-hot?

 **Rogue:** …Oh be quiet.

 **Carla:** Well Yukino did offer to give two of her keys to Lucy, perhaps there’s a Celestial Spirit dating line. Or is giving and taking keys their version of chocolates?

 **Angel:** Well that’s not true; I wasn’t flirting with Lucy or Karen at all.

 **Karen:** Well you killed me so if it was like that, I’d be worried. And besides I didn’t notice how your beautiful hair shone silkily in the sunlight anyway.

 **Angel:** And I definitely didn’t care for how your beautiful green tresses fell around your shoulders.

 **Karen:** …

 **Angel:** …

 **Karen:** So do you want to get out of here?

 **Angel:** YES PLEASE!!

 **Yukino:** Was that my sister?!

 **Lucy:** We can catch up later, how about that?

 **Yukino:** Yeah… sounds good.

 **Erza:** …

 **Erza:** I few seconds ago I was going to say this is one extremely hot pairing but now I just think it’s adorable.

 **Makarov:** Don’t worry Erza, it’s still extremely hot.

 **Loke:** So Lucy’s into girls? Can’t say I blame her, Yukino’s a cutie. [wink]

 **Lucy:** You already tried to flirt with her, stay away from my girlfriend.

 **Taurus:** But she’s got a really nice body!

 **Yukino:** Calm down Yukino, you are a Celestial Wizard of Sabertooth; you will not be freaked out by an anthropomorphic cow…

 **Lucy:** Hey! Stop making Yuki uncomfortable!

[Lucy on Taurus violence!]

 **Loke:** So Lucy’s the possessive type then? Good to know. [backs away]

 **Natsu:** Did you call her Yuki?

 **Yukino:** It’s her nickname for me.

 **Mirajane:** It’s so cute!!

 **Natsu:** Do you have one for Lucy, Yuki?

 **Lucy:** …

 **Lucy:** Only I get to call her that.

[Lucy on Natsu violence!]

 **Mirajane:** How much have you been hanging around Lucy lately Erza?

 **Erza:** Not that much, why?

 **Mirajane:** …No reason.

 **Erza:** Anyway Yukino, _do_ you have a nickname for Lucy?

 **Yukino:** I do, but not when I use that much.

 **Mirajane:** How come?

 **Yukino:** It’s really more of a [blush] bedroom name.

 **Erza:** Alright we understand. We don’t need to hear it.

 **Makarov:** I DO! I NEED TO HEAR THE NAME!!

 **Lucy:** …

 **Yukino:** …I am uncomfortable.

[Lucy on Makarov violence!]


	11. Chapter 11

**FT Characters! Rogue and Yukino are dating! How do you react?**

(As requested by guest)

 

 **Sting:** I completely support this couple! Yukino can get Rogue to open up more and that will be very good for his, uh, quality of life.

 **Rogue:** I am not telling you anything about what we do in private.

 **Sting:** Why Rogue, how could you think such a thing of me?! I merely meant she might get you to smile more. [whispers] Dammit!

 **Rogue:** Uh-huh, I’m sure.

 **Rufus:** To be the first one to say this, I called it!

 **Orga:** How? How out of everyone in the guild who had bets on either Sting and Yukino or Rogue and Yukino did you know?!

 **Rufus:** Don’t be silly Orga, you should know by now; I _always_ know.

 **Lucy:** I’m so happy for Yukino! After everything she went through to help us, she deserves an awesome boyfriend, and I’m sure Rogue will be good to her.

 **Cana:** If you’re upset about being forever single Lucy you can come and vent to me, you don’t have to push all your wants and thoughts onto Yukino.

 **Lucy:** …Shut up.

 **Mirajane:** Yukino is such a sweet girl and is absolutely adorable; Rogue _will_ be good to her.

 **Yukino:** How can you be so sure?

 **Mirajane:** I am a matchmaker, I know these things.

 **Mirajane:** I also may have gone and threatened him a little when you were out.

 **Yukino:** What?

 **Mirajane:** What?

 **Lisanna:** I’m glad that someone Mira approves of so highly is happy!

 **Natsu:** Is it because she looks like you?

 **Lisanna:** …Maybe a little, it gives me hope.

 **Natsu:** Well anyway, if that Rogue hurts her, Lucy just say the word and I’ll go beat him up again.

 **Lucy:** Not everything has to be solved with violence.

 **Taurus:** Oh how I wish to be that Rogue… That Yukino has a very nice body indeed.

 **Rogue:** Don’t you dare try hitting on my girlfriend while I’m-!

[Lucy on Taurus violence!]

 **Rogue:** … [sighs]

 **Natsu:** …

 **Lucy:** Shut up Natsu.

 **Angel:** So this is the guy who’s dating my little sister? He doesn’t look like much.

 **Angel:** But the same threats apply to anyone else Shadow boy.

 **Angel:** Hurt her and I’ll kill you.

 **Angel:** Leave her and break her heart and I’ll kill you.

 **Angel:** Be anything less than a perfect boyfriend and I’ll kill you.

 **Rogue:** …

 **Angel:** Just so we’re clear.


	12. Chapter 12

**FT Characters reactions to the manga chapter 318.**

(As requested by guest)

 

 **Rogue:** … I’m never going to beat Gajeel am I?

 **Gajeel:** Nope, I’m all like ‘HELL YEAH, check me out this new power and look is awesome!’ Only not as lame as Salamander.

 **Natsu:** Hey!

 **Erza:** Don’t start you two.

 **Gajeel & Natsu:** Yes Ma’am.

 **Gray:** We all have to admit that Gajeel looks pretty awesome in that Iron Shadow Dragon Mode and his power levels at that point must be off the charts.

 **Rogue:** I at least managed to beat him up a little.

 **Gray:** Wasn’t that the evil shadow that was hanging around you?

 **Rogue:** …So how about all that business with Future Lucy? That seems interesting.

 **Sting:** Dude, were you screaming? I mean sure that shadow was trying to possess you, but actually screaming.

 **Rogue:** I will end you.

 **Sting:** Well apparently you wouldn’t be able to; you’re too busy screaming in this panel.

[Rogue on Sting violence!]

 **Levy:** I think Gajeel’s concern for Rogue is quite sweet! It’s like Rogue’s still the wannabe little brother and Gajeel is stepping up as an older sibling!

 **Gajeel:** …

 **Pantherlily:** Yes Gajeel [smirks] how sweet of you.

 **Gajeel:** You be quiet cat.

 **Mirajane:** Master Mavis said that you were up against an evil entity; do you think the author is foreshadowing something?

 **Gajeel:** Who knows?

 **Yukino:** When I went missing, Mirajane-sama went looking for me…

 **Yukino:** …

 **Yukino:** I’ve never felt so loved!

 **Sting:** Wait a second; Gajeel’s calling you Raios, what’s up with that?

 **Rogue:** I can’t tell you.

 **Sting:** Why not?!

 **Rogue:** Because for this list the author has to pretend that further chapters haven’t happened and we don’t know what’s going to happen next.

 **Sting:** But technically you knew Gajeel in the past which happened before this chapter, so you can tell me.

 **Rogue:** No. I don’t want to talk about it.

 **Future Lucy:** Natsu trusted me to guide him when I said I studied the area…

 **Natsu:** Well sure I would. You’re Lucy. I can trust you with anything.

 **Future Lucy:** Best. Day. Ever.

 **Rogue’s Shadow:** Well I’ve got my work cut out for me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Laxus has turned into a kitten-sized neko!**

(As requested by Blue Blast)

 

 **Natsu:** LAXUS! COME AND FIGHT ME! WHERE-?

 **Natsu:** Why is there a mini Laxus with cat ears and a tail clawing onto my trousers?

 **Natsu:** Aww this is cool! I wonder if he can use magic…?

 **Natsu:** Little sparks and shocks huh? You know you’re really only making your ears and tail fluffier.

 **Lucy:** Natsu I wouldn’t pick him up.

 **Natsu:** Why not?

 **Lucy:** Because, if Laxus doesn’t scratch or bite you, Freed will get you.

 **Freed:** UNHAND LAXUS THIS INSTANT DRAGNEEL! [reaching for his sword]

[Bickslow and Evergreen tackle Freed!]

 **Freed:** Get off of me!

 **Bickslow:** Calm down first. Seriously what’s your deal?

 **Freed:** It’s just Laxus…

 **Evergreen:** We understand Freed.

 **Bickslow:** He’s just…

 **Bickslow, Freed & Evergreen:** Become really cute!

[Laxus is snatched away from Natsu!]

 **Mirajane:** Honestly those three… They’ve been hogging him all this time, he’s become so adorable. I want to pet him, just a little bit!

 **Elfman:** It’s fine Mira, we can go to the pet shop later and look at some animals there, we can get you a bunny if you’d like.

 **Mirajane:** I SHALL NAME IT SNUFFLES AND WE WILL BE TOGETHER FOREVER!!

 **Lisanna:** But how is this going to work out for the guild? Sure we now have an adorable tiny Laxus kitty but is the Thunder Legion going to have to quit to look after him?

[Laxus runs over to Lisanna!]

 **Lisanna:** Aw hello-

[Sparks and shocks]

 **Bickslow:** Or you know, we could change him back?

 **Evergreen:** B-but, kitty!

 **Freed:** No. Bickslow is right; we should get Laxus back to his original form as soon as possible.

[Laxus rubs against Freed’s leg]

 **Freed:** …

 **Freed:** Can I change my answer?

 **Makarov:** My grandson has got cat ears and a tail; he’s smaller than Happy…

 **Makarov:** I _should_ be angry…

 **Gildarts:** You’re totally going to use this as blackmail. I know I will.

 **Makarov:** Well I was going to say I should take pictures and bury them in that place underground, but that might be better.

 **Erza:** We should still get him changed back as quickly as possible; it’s for the good of the guild.

 **Makarov:** I’ll buy you so much cake if you just let him stay as adorable as when he was a kid for a little bit longer.

 **Erza:** I’ll take some strawberry now please!

 **Freed:** If he’s staying like this for a little bit, should we get him some toys?

[Mini Laxus on Freed violence!]

 **Freed:** So… cute…


	14. Chapter 14

**FT Characters! You’ve just found out that Sting and Rogue are dating! How do you react?**

**Rufus:** For the record, I totally called this.

 **Orga:** I think we all did with this one.

 **Minerva:** Well I’m a little surprised; I thought they were _already_ dating.

 **Sting:** We were. Rogue’s just shy about it.

 **Rogue:** … [pulls hair over the other side of his face]

 **Minerva:** Ah I see, well then I suppose it was no wonder my father didn’t like you.

 **Sting:** What?

 **Minerva:** What?

 **Yukino:** I am very happy for these two, they certainly belong together!

 **Lucy:** And also it’s just really hot right?

 **Yukino:** …You got me.

 **Gajeel:** If Sting hurts Raios, there will be blood, just saying.

 **Natsu:** Wow… these two are good together, even I can see it.

 **Lucy:** And that’s saying something.

 **Jiemma:** I hate the both of them, but even I have to admit that they are a good couple, and that just makes me hate them even more.

 **Jiemma:** Guilds are not for couples.

 **Alzack & Bisca:** Excuse you.

 **Dobengal:** The guild master needs some time for himself, and Rogue knows him better than anyone, this should be good for the atmosphere of the guild if Master Sting is less cranky.

 **Sting:** Hey! I’m not cranky!

 **Rogue:** You tried blowing up your office just to be rid of all the paperwork.

 **Sting:** …

 **Jason:** The ‘Twin Dragons of Sabertooth’ are a couple?! SO COOOOOL!! This story could make my whole career!

 **Rogue:** …I am displeased.

 **Sting’s Fans:** He’s taken?! No way! Come on, we can still get a piece of him if we hurry!

 **Sting:** …

 **Rogue:** …

[Sting and Rogue are now making out!]

 **Yukino:** [faints]

 **Sting’s Fans:** [screaming in outrage]

 **Rogue:** Sting is mine now.


	15. Chapter 15

**You’ve just found out that Happy and Carla are dating! Reactions?**

(As requested by The Prince of Light)

 

 **Natsu:** Wow good for you Happy! You finally got Carla to go out with you!

 **Lucy:** Yeah it’s so cute!

 **Wendy:** I’m so happy for you Carla; I think you and Happy are a wonderful couple!

 **Wendy:** You can spend time together and hang out…

 **Carla:** Don’t think for a second that I’m going to leave you Wendy; you’re likely to get yourself hurt without me there.

 **Wendy:** I guess that’s true.

 **Pantherlily:** I approve of the match very much, Happy and Carla have good chemistry and she might be able to keep him away from fish a bit more.

 **Gajeel:** Well, so the Salamander finally won something and it was through his cat. I bet any other ones would want to date my Lily though!

 **Lector:** Actually Frosch and I are dating too.

 **Samuel:** I’m still single.

 **Gajeel:** Lily’s too good for a filler character.

 **Samuel:** It’s not like I don’t have feelings too just because I’m filler. If anything I’m the best match for your Exceed!

 **Gajeel:** Lily’s too good for a filler character!

 **Samuel:** I’m the best for him!

[Samuel and Gajeel violence!]

 **Levy:** Do you want to hide from the two idiots with me Lily?

 **Pantherlily:** That would be great, thanks Levy.

 **Natsu:** Wait a second, if our cats are going out does that mean I have to stay around Wendy more?

 **Lucy:** With the amount of fights and dangerous situations you get into, I think it might be best for you to stay away.

 **Wendy:** That’s definitely true.


	16. Chapter 16

**Natsu is E.N.D. how do you react FT Characters?**

(As requested by waveform33)

 

 **Gray:** …

 **Lucy:** …

 **Erza:** …

 **Sting:** E.N.D. is Zeref’s most powerful demon right? So how can it be Natsu?!

 **Rogue:** Duh, magic.

 **Sting:** …

 **Rogue:** And I’m sure we’re all surprised about this, I didn’t see this coming.

 **Lyon:** Zeref seems to say it as Etherious Natsu Dragneel, interesting…

 **Gray:** INTERESTING?! You think this is interesting?!

 **Gray:** My dad left me with the job to kill E.N.D. and it turns out to be my best friend?! Just… no…

 **Lyon:** Well do you think it was being foreshadowed? When you were in Edolas didn’t he briefly go by the name, ‘The Great Demon Lord Dragneel?’

 **Gray:** Please be quiet.

 **Lyon:** I’m just saying-

 **Gray:** _Please_ be quiet!

 **Lyon:** …Of course Gray.

 **Wendy:** Not Natsu, he’s not a bad guy, how could he be one of those demons?! [sobbing]

[Erza and Lucy hugs]

 **Wendy:** Thanks.

 **Lucy:** I don’t understand how he could be E.N.D. Wasn’t it sealed in that book? People have known Natsu since he was a child.

 **Erza:** Well it is Zeref; we should stay on our guard. We can’t truly know the full extent of his power.

 **Edolas Lucy:** So Earthland Natsu is a super powerful demon? That explains why he was able to boss me around so easily.

 **Edolas Levy:** Apart from your oh so obvious crush on him you mean? How lame!

 **Edolas Lucy:** Are you trying to start something?

 **Edolas Levy:** Bring it!

[Edolas Lucy and Levy violence!]

 **Silver:** So I just pit my son against his comrade?

 **Silver:** Oops?

 **Makarov:** We can find a way to fix this, Natsu has never once tried to harm a member of our guild.

 **Erza:** …

 **Gray:** …

 **Makarov:** …Guild brawls don’t count and neither does him recklessly challenging people.

 **Natsu:** I-I’m that demon Igneel tried to destroy?! But he raised me! Why would he raise the very thing he tried to destroy?!

 **Gray:** Maybe he didn’t know?

 **Natsu:** SHUT UP IGNEEL KNEW EVERYTHING!

 **Zeref:** Ah little brother, I’m so proud with how this has all turned out. Don’t worry, we’ll be together again soon.

 **Natsu:** That sounds really creepy…

 **Zeref:** But I’m your big brother! We’re family!

 **Natsu:** Fairy Tail is my family, and right now they, we, are an enemy of you.

 **Natsu:** And that was still creepy.


	17. Chapter 17

**Mirajane and Laxus are dating! How do you react FT Characters?**

(As requested by breathingoxyken)

 

 **Freed:** NOOOOOOO!

 **Bickslow:** Who wants to bet on who that scream is for?

 **Lisanna:** I think he’s screaming that Laxus is the one with Mirajane.

 **Evergreen:** Well I think he’s screaming because he’s not the one with Laxus.

 **Evergreen:** He kept referring to Laxus as his at the Grand Magic Games.

 **Elfman:** You didn’t see his fight with Mira, there were blushes.

 **Makarov:** How did _Laxus_ get a woman like Mirajane to go out with him?! How?!

 **Makarov:** Jealousy aside, I am very happy for the two of you. Laxus if you hurt her, not only will she hurt you back but I will aswell, be careful.

 **Laxus:** Aren’t you supposed to be threatening Mira, Gramps?

 **Makarov:** Probably but Mira’s too nice to hurt you.

 **Freed:** Yeah… wouldn’t hurt a fly.

 **Elfman:** Don’t bring your fight with her into it man.

 **Evergreen:** You were the one who brought it up in the first place!

[Evergreen on Elfman violence!]

 **Cana:** So the matchmaker is paired up now? Guess I need a new partner in crime.

 **Mirajane:** It’s not as if I’m going to quit work Cana, I think I’m the only one who can handle your orders for drinks.

 **Mirajane:** And just because the matchmaker is in a match doesn’t mean she will stop matchmaking.

 **Mirajane:** Teasing Lucy is too fun to quit anyway.

 **Cana:** That’s true.

 **Lucy:** You leave my love life alone!

 **Erza:** I’m very happy for you Mirajane, I’m sure you can keep Laxus in check.

 **Mirajane:** Why thank you Erza. Don’t feel bad just because I got a boyfriend first though.

 **Erza:** I-I don’t feel bad! I can get a man anytime I want!

 **Mirajane:** Is that Jellal over there?

 **Erza:** Are you trying to start something?!

 **Mirajane:** Bring it red!

[Erza and Mirajane violence!]

 **Wakaba:** And that’s just great, the rivalry is back. This is your influence Laxus!

 **Laxus:** Well from the way you’re ogling my girlfriend, you don’t seem to mind too much.

 **Laxus:** And also…

[Laxus on Wakaba violence!]

 **Laxus:** …Only I get to ogle Mira now.


	18. Chapter 18

**FT Characters react to Episode 45.**

(As requested by breathingoxyken)

 

 **Freed:** Oh I simply had the best time of my life, no complaints at all.

 **Bickslow:** Since when are you sarcastic? It sounds like there wasn’t anything enjoyable about that experience at all.

 **Freed:** Really? No!

 **Bickslow:** …I miss the old Freed who blushed at everything the slightest bit awkward.

 **Laxus:** I don’t. It’s good to see him out of his shell.

 **Laxus:** And speaking of coming out of shells, wow Mira. It’s been a while since I’ve seen that look.

 **Mirajane:** It’s a little embarrassing, I hope Freed isn’t too hurt; I kinda lost it a little there.

 **Freed:** …Sure.

 **Mirajane:** Sorry.

 **Elfman:** It’s great to see Mira getting her powers back; she’s nearly as strong as before!

 **Mirajane:** I’m not quite there yet but soon hopefully.

 **Erza:** I’m very happy for you Mirajane, I hope this means we could spar every once in a while, I’ve not met someone with the same sort of strength as me.

 **Mirajane:** Thanks you Erza! Perhaps sometime soon we will finally find out which of us is the strongest.

 **Natsu:** Mirajane’s pretty awesome!

 **Lucy:** Yeah she is! But scary.

 **Natsu:** Do you think she’d fight me?

 **Lucy:** I think you’re an idiot for wanting to try.

 **Laxus:** Only for that?

 **Lucy:** I was trying to be nice.

 **Gray:** All of the women in our guild are powerful and most are scary; they’re putting us guys to shame.

 **Natsu:** That’s why I’ll bring up our standings by beating Erza and Mira!

 **Gray:** …Perhaps being the slightly weaker gender in the guild isn’t such a bad thing.

 **Elfman:** That’s a pretty manly thing to say Gray.

 **Gray:** Just sensible. You did see Mira’s fight, you know as well as I that nobody’s going to beat her.

 **Elfman:** Yeah, my big sis is pretty awesome.

 **Laxus:** No arguments here.


	19. Chapter 19

**FT Characters! Mira and Erza are dating!**

(As requested by breathingoxyken)

 

 **Makarov:** That is incredibly hot.

 **Jellal:** …

 **Laxus:** …

 **Jellal:** The sad part is that I can’t disagree.

 **Laxus:** Ditto. Also, liking a girl that turns out to be a lesbian.

 **Jellal:** Yes, but mostly that thing I said.

 **Gray:** Well I suppose that they were very close after having been rivals for years. It’s kinda nice that they’re together now.

 **Natsu:** Rivals who become close friends don’t have to get together do they?

 **Gray:** …Why would that even cross your mind?

 **Natsu:** …No reason.

 **Juvia:** Juvia senses a new love rival.

 **Millianna:** I’m so happy that Er-chan has found someone that can keep up with her!

 **Kagura:** It is quite nice news.

 **Erza:** Aww Kagura! Come give your big sister a hug!

 **Kagura:** I-I was joking about that, you’re not my sister!

 **Mirajane:** Give her time Erza, she’ll come around.

 **Erza:** Thanks Mira.

[Mira and Erza kiss]

 **Jellal:** …

 **Laxus:** …

 **Jellal & Laxus:** Dammit!

 **Kyoka:** So they had feelings for each other did they?

 **Sayla:** We should have used that against them.

 **Erza & Mira:** Don’t you dare threaten my girlfriend!

[Erza on Kyoka violence!] [Mira on Sayla violence!]

 **Ichiya:** So my honey was never going to be attracted to me was she?

 **Hibiki:** No never.

 **Ichiya:** If only I had tried harder! I could have ‘converted’ her!

 **Erza:** Yes, I would have made this decision a lot sooner if you had.


	20. Chapter 20

**Reverse fans ship you with, by Natsu!**

(As sort of requested by Vedra77)

 

 **1… Lucy: -** “People ship me with Luigi? I suppose I can see it, we always have one another’s backs and been there. Except for that one year time skip, you think deep down she’s mad about that?”

 

 **2… Gray: -** “Why would you ship me with that perverted stripper!! I don’t like him, not at all! No matter how pretty his eyes are and how much I want to run my fingers through his hair… Okay so I like him a little.”

 

 **3… Erza: -** “Have I had this whole thing wrong and shipping means fighting? Because if so, then YES PLEASE!”

 

 **4… Gajeel:** **-** “ALL I WANT FROM THIS METAL HEAD IS FOR HIM TO FIGHT ME AGAIN!”

 

 **5… Laxus: -** “If I live through Freed trying to kill me for this one I don’t feel like having to face Evergreen and Bickslow.”

 

 **6… Jellal: -** “I want to fight Erza, not be killed by her.”

 

 **7… Wendy: -** “Um no, she’s really young and more like my little sister. Also Carla would scratch my eyes out if I ever did try anything.”

 

 **8… Zeref:** \- “At first, he was the sort of big bad that killed people and was a big cry-baby and sort of creepy. Now he’s my brother so…”

 

 **9… Elfman: -** “I’m not entirely sure I could put up with him talking about manliness all the time… Can’t we just stay fight buddies?”

 

 **10… Lisanna: -** “Sh-she talked about getting married when we were kids and she helped me with Happy’s egg. She’ll always be special to me for that.”


	21. Chapter 21

**FT Characters! Natsu and Gray are dating! How do you react?**

(As requested by Vedra77)

 

 **Lucy:** Well shit.

 **Lucy:** Just had to have a crush for someone in love with his ‘rival’ didn’t you Lucy?

 **Lucy:** Just my luck.

 **Juvia:** [tears flooding all of Magnolia]

 **Juvia:** JUVIA’S LIFE IS OVER!!

 **Ultear:** They seemed to have some chemistry, this is okay by me. There’s something quite poetic about fire and ice.

 **Lyon:** I think more ice is never a bad thing.

 **Ultear:** What was that?

 **Lyon:** Nothing. Nothing at all.

 **Erza:** This is not what I had in mind when I tried convincing them to be better friends but at least it’ll get them to stop fighting.

 **Natsu:** Not really, it’s how we decide who tops.

 **Erza:** You are a work in progress relationship then?

 **Gray:** We’re pretty happy with it as it is.

 **Erza:** You are a _work in progress relationship_.

 **Natsu:** Alright then Erza, if you say so.

 **Gray:** Hey Natsu, would you meet me down at the river where we used to spar for a ‘date’ later?

 **Natsu:** I’d love to!

 **Erza:** [sighs]

 **Lisanna:** If Natsu’s happy then I’m happy.

 **Elfman:** [pulls her into a hug]

 **Lisanna:** Thanks big bro.

 **Mirajane:** Dramas aside, I think they make an awesome couple!

 **Makarov:** The town of Magnolia will not survive.

 **Mirajane:** But they’re so hot and cute together!

 **Gajeel:** Sucks to be you Juvia.

 **Juvia:** You don’t need to be so mean to Juvia!

 **Gajeel:** Alright then, on another note I totally haven’t got four tickets to Akane Resort.

 **Levy:** We’re going on a beach trip with Lily! Come with us!

 **Juvia:** Thank you Gajeel! Juvia feels a bit better now!

 **Gajeel:** Yeah whatever, I just had the spare ticket lying around…

 **Lucy:** …Perfect, I don’t even have a shoulder to cry on.

 **Cana:** Cry on mine Lucy!

 **Lucy:** Y-you can’t grope me into feeling better Cana!

 **Cana:** It’d sure be fun to try though wouldn’t it?

 **Mirajane:** My shippy senses are tingling.

 **Lucy:** …Sure, why not?


	22. Chapter 22

**How they’d be in a heatwave.**

(As requested by Blue Blast, sort of)

 

 **Natsu:** Loves every moment of it and is really energetic, keeps challenging people to fights more than usual.

 **Lucy:** Spends most of her time at the pool in the guild, trying to shake off the heat. Avoids Natsu a little.

 **Wendy:** Plays outside a little before catching sunstroke and forced inside.

 **Carla:** Is overheating a lot but insists on looking after Wendy instead of resting.

 **Happy:** Is overheating a lot but insists on looking after Carla instead of resting.

 **Pantherlily:** Overheats a lot, stays with Levy who conjures up Ice.

 **Gajeel:** Is banned from trying to cool down in the pool for turning it to steam and getting rid of it. Hangs around Levy and Lily.

 **Gray:** Gets too hot and feels like he’s melting, huddles up with Lyon in the shade for body cool.

 **Lyon:** Is cuddling with Gray.

 **Juvia:** Starts evaporating, quickly refills the pool of the water Gajeel took away and becomes one with it. The pool overflows from her crying at seeing Gray and Lyon together.

 **Levy:** Spends a lot of her time reading in the shade of a tree and spelling out Ice for Gajeel and Lily. Visits the pool occasionally to talk with Lucy and dip her feet in the water.

 **Makarov:** Spends his time swimming naked everywhere and trying to get glances at the girls in bikinis.

 **Mirajane:** Spends her time serving drinks, happy to help out.

 **Kinana:** Helps Mirajane.

 **Erza:** Requips into her legendary swimsuit (it was repaired) and spends a lot of time dealing with Jellal’s nosebleeds.

 **Jellal:** Is babied by Erza holding him close, _very_ close, he faints from blood loss and later passes it off as sunstroke.


	23. Chapter 23

**Rogue and Kagura are dating! What are your reactions?**

(As requested by Velocity Raptor)

 

 **Sting:** While I will not deny that I am happy Rogue has found someone, and that this couple is really awesome, I am confused about this.

 **Millianna:** Me too. Have they ever actually ever met in canon?

 **Risley:** Perhaps it was at the party after the Grand Magic Games? Kagura really looked beautiful in her dress.

 **Erza:** Sting I’m warning you now, if your friend hurts my little sister there will be blood.

 **Kagura:** I’m n-not your little sister!

 **Rogue:** For the record people, Kagura and I interacted when Levia came after me. She went off to fight the smaller dragons and left him to me.

 **Kagura:** He was so brave! It was amazing of him.

 **Rogue:** You’re amazing too love.

 **Kagura:** Aw thank you!

 **Rufus:** Does anybody else think that this is too mushy for Kagura and definitely too weird for Rogue?

 **Orga:** Oh yes.

 **Risley:** Kagura just needs to let out some of her emotions sometimes; I bet that Rogue is the same.

 **Sting:** He’s really not.

 **Risley:** Well maybe you don’t know him as well as you think!

 **Sting:** That must be it! I mean, I’ve only spent over half my life with him, nothing important.

 **Risley:** You know you shouldn’t be so rude to a lady!

 **Sting:** Being sarcastic isn’t rude!

[Risley on Sting violence!]

 **Gajeel:** Kagura’s the one you fought right Erza?

 **Erza:** Yes, along with Minerva.

 **Gajeel:** And she’s completely enamoured with you.

 **Kagura:** …Am not.

 **Erza:** You know the word enamoured?

 **Gajeel:** Shut up! And anyway, I fought Rogue who’s obsessed with me…

 **Rogue:** …Am not.

 **Gajeel:** So are we the matchmakers here? Because I don’t want to seem that soft.

 **Erza:** And yet you brought up the theory in the first place…

 **Levy:** You’re so cute Gajeel!

 **Gajeel:** …Am not.


	24. Chapter 24

**FT Characters! Natsu has been a girl this whole time!**

(As requested by waveform33)

 

 **Gray:** …What?!

 **Lucy:** What?!

 **Erza:** Wha-

 **Natsu:** I get it!

 **Gray:** You’re a girl? This whole time I’ve been beating up a girl?!

 **Natsu:** Yeah, what about it?

 **Gray:** I guess it’s no wonder you always got angry so easily.

 **Lucy:** And at least now I have a reason for wondering why you seemed extra angry for a while once a month.

 **Natsu:** Are you saying I have anger issues? I DO NOT HAVE ANGER ISSUES! AND DID YOU SAY YOU BEAT ME UP?! I’M THE ONE WHO BEATS YOU UP! WANT ME TO PROVE IT?!

 **Erza:** Calm down Natsu!

 **Natsu:** Yes ma’am.

 **Makarov:** If Natsu has been a girl this whole time is she even more flat chested than Levy?

 **Levy:** HEY!

 **Natsu:** Nah, Igneel just hid them with a spell. I didn’t seem to have a shirt back then you know?

 **Sting:** My idol is female, and if I were a woman I’d have been in love Natsu… So seeing as Natsu is the woman, does that mean I’m in love with her!?!

 **Natsu:** Say yes and see how hard it is eating with your teeth missing.

 **Sting:** Well okay then.

 **Laxus:** …

 **Gajeel:** …

 **Laxus:** Well my defeat just got a whole lot more embarrassing.

 **Gajeel:** Uh huh.

 **Mirajane:** Are you saying that you never thought a girl could beat you?

 **Laxus:** Well… um.

 **Erza:** Then perhaps we should teach you to get used to that ‘embarrassment.’

 **Gajeel:** Oh God run for it!

 **Laxus:** Oh yeah!

 **Mirajane & Erza:** GET BACK HERE!!!!!

 **Pantherlily:** Hey Gajeel! I thought you had a warrior’s spirit!

 **Gajeel:** Maybe, but I’m not crazy enough to fight those two demons!

 **Mirajane & Erza:** WHAT DID YOU CALL US?!

 **Pantherlily:** …I see your point.

 **Levy:** Lu-chan, do you think Natsu would want to come out on girl’s nights with us?

 **Lucy:** Possibly not, we are talking about Natsu. Loves to fight and burn things to the ground Natsu.

 **Levy:** I take your point.

 **Gray:** Hey, Happy, did you ever know about this?

 **Happy:** No I didn’t… But Natsu is always Natsu, and whether he’s a girl or not doesn’t change that she’s my best friend!

 **Natsu:** Aww thanks Happy!

 **Happy:** Of course I still like Carla more. And by extension Wendy.

 **Natsu:** You’re totally using her to earn points with Carla aren’t you?

 **Happy:** Yeah pretty much.


	25. Chapter 25

**Lisanna and Bickslow are dating! Thoughts?**

(As requested by TheWorldsInMyHead)

 

 **Freed:** Congratulations Bickslow, it’s a happy day to see you settling down with someone.

 **Evergreen:** Yes, we’re very glad that you’ve found someone.

 **Laxus:** You do realize that he could break up with her and go right back to being a constant annoying thorn in your sides right?

 **Bickslow:** Hey, I’m not annoying Laxus! And besides you guys all love me!

 **Laxus:** You annoy me all the time and I don’t love you.

 **Bickslow:** Laxus I’m so hurt! You big meanie!

 **Laxus:** So you’re using childish insults and… are you sticking your tongue out at me?!

 **Lisanna:** You should know by now not to rile him up Laxus.

 **Laxus:** …Are you two really dating or are you playing babysitter?

 **Lisanna:** Honestly? A little bit of both.

 **Lisanna:** And you shouldn’t complain, I’m keeping him from irritating you 24/7.

 **Freed & Evergreen:** We’re free!

 **Bickslow:** Now I really am hurt.

 **Lisanna:** Don’t worry Bickslow, I’m here for you.

 **Bickslow:** You’re the best Lisy!

 **Mirajane:** How come you never let me call you Lisy?

 **Lisanna:** It’s embarrassing!

 **Mirajane:** But he gets to call you that!

 **Lisanna:** It’s his pet name for me.

 **Lisanna:** And he also may have been really sad and adorable when I asked him not to call me that anymore. I couldn’t keep it up.

 **Elfman:** Bickslow can be adorable?

 **Lisanna:** YES!

 **Elfman:** Well then, seeing as Mirajane’s far too nice to say this I will. Bickslow; hurt my sister in any way and you are in for a beating, which Mira will likely participate in even if she doesn’t threaten it now.

 **Bickslow:** I can assure you, I’ll be on my best behaviour.

 **Lucy:** Lisanna’s dating the creepy guy who wanted to take my soul away?

 **Lisanna:** Is that a problem?

 **Lucy:** …Of course not, why would it be?

 **Natsu:** Lisanna is dating the older creepy guy? HOW?! How did I lose out to a guy who can’t take his mask off really?!

 **Lucy:** …

 **Lisanna:** …

 **Bickslow:** Natsu knows what relationships are?


	26. Chapter 26

**Kyoka and Sayla are dating! How do you react?**

(As requested by VelocityRaptor)

 

 **Tempesta:** Well this is obvious; Kyoka has been having sex with Sayla for a while now.

 **Ezel:** Well she was always talking about showing Sayla affection so of course they were idiot! It doesn’t get more obvious than that!

 **Silver:** Oh my Zeref! This is completely unexpected! If anything I thought Kyoka liked _me_!

 **Jackal:** So the obvious is shocking to oblivious idiots? That makes sense.

 **Jackal:** And if I may add, this is extremely hot.

 **Ezel:** No arguments there.

 **Tempesta:** Mph.

 **Silver:** I really can’t disagree with you there.

 **Lamy:** B-but why? Why wouldn’t Kyoka-sama choose me!?

 **Kyoka:** Because you are tiny and annoying and shriek a lot. Also you don’t seem gay enough; you’re always ogling the males.

 **Lamy:** Well they _are_ really hot…

 **Franmalth:** I am overjoyed for Kyoka-sama and Sayla-sama, such a sinful relationship! How much will it cost?

 **Lamy:** What does that even mean? You’re always going on about it but I never understood it.

 **Franmalth:** Not now Lamy; later.

 **Mard Geer:** Two of my subordinates are in a relationship? I don’t see why I have to care about that.

 **Minerva:** So the demon responsible for giving me extra power is coupled up? I suppose I am happy for her…

 **Jiemma:** Do not feel anything about this Minerva, feelings are weak. You shouldn’t care.

 **Minerva:** Y-yes Father.

 **Mirajane:** So Erza, the two demons that we fought are dating. That’s a little sweet.

 **Erza:** Perhaps not the word I’d use but I suppose their crushing defeat at our hands could be a bonding thing. I suppose you live up to your reputation as a matchmaker Mirajane.

 **Mirajane:** Aww thank you!

 **Sayla:** Are they in a couple as well?

 **Kyoka:** It would seem so, though a lot of people in that guild are ‘shippy.’

 **Natsu:** I’m not totally sure why _I’ve_ heard about this but aren’t they both dead? How are they dating if they’re dead?

 **Mirajane:** Perhaps demons go to an afterlife?

 **Natsu:** Also aren’t they books? So is that like pieces of paper being pressed against each other as a fake kiss?

 **Sayla:** Can we kill them?

 **Kyoka:** I’m certain we actually can’t but we can try.

 **Torafusa:** I am of course glad for Kyoka and Sayla, but I hope this does not distract them from their work.

 **Natsu:** What work? Is being dead work?

 **Keith:** With my power I can simply resurrect them.

 **Natsu:** But weren’t you also killed?

 **Keith:** Death has no power over me; I will not remain in its grasp. I’ll be back.

 **Natsu:** So can you use your power when you’re dead?

 **Keith:** I will find a way, so that Kyoka and Sayla may be happy together.

 **Natsu:** You dodged my question.

 **Keith:** … I dislike this mortal.


	27. Chapter 27

**The cast reacts to Fanfictions.**

(As requested by PalaDude234)

 

 **Gray:** …

 **Natsu:** OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY MAKING US DO IN THAT ONE?! I DON’T LIKE GRAY DAMMIT!

 **Gray:** Well at least I now know to avoid ‘lemons.’

 **Juvia:** So many people pair Juvia with Gray-sama… our love is supported! Juvia will have her handsome prince one day soon!

 **Lyon:** You aren’t the only one who gets paired with him you know, there’s quite a lot of these stories with me paired with him.

 **Juvia:** There’s more with Juvia!

 **Lyon:** For now…

 **Juvia:** Love rival!!

 **Erza:** They’re not all as bad as those ones you’ve read Gray, look this one is described as fluffy and it’s really cute!

 **Gray:** But I’m still shipped with Natsu in it.

 **Natsu:** Well it’s not like I want to be paired with you either Ice Block!

 **Mirajane:** I think they’re all really good, some are cute and some are smutty. I think the ones where Freed and Laxus are a couple are especially great.

 **Freed:** People pair up me and Laxus…?

 **Freed:** …

 **Freed:** BEST! DAY! EVER!

 **Laxus:** Whenever there is a fic for me and Gray it’s purely porn, that’s a little disheartening… Though I suppose we would be incredibly hot together…

 **Gray:** …Please stop considering that.

 **Lucy:** I see a lot of people ship me with Natsu… [blush] I don’t know how to feel about that!

 **Lucy:** They also seem to ship me with Gray a lot too… R-really I’m only friends with both of them!

 **Loke:** And what about me? They pair you with me too princess!

 **Lucy:** And also Gray! It means nothing.

 **Makarov:** Well it seems just like a bit of harmless fun, let them ship whatever they want to ship.

 **Gray:** But I have a pairing with nearly everyone!

 **Makarov:** well you are incredibly attractive and you show it off with that habit of yours.

 **Gray:** …

 **Gray:** Fuck my life!

 **Sting:** There’s a lot of me being paired with that Fairy Tail Celestial Wizard and Yukino. Do I even know the first girl?

 **Rogue:** Just let them do what they want Sting and… Is that me being paired with you?

 **Sting:** Yeah and… OH GOD what are we doing?!?!

 **Rogue:** …

 **Sting:** …Want to go and try some of this?

 **Rogue:** Yes!

 **Jellal:** There are stories about me and Erza together and doing things, like an actual couple. Why would they do that? I have already said I have a fiancée.

 **Meredy:** Yeah… No-one believes that.

 **Jellal:** asdfghjkl

 **Gajeel:** WHY?! Why would people ship me with the Salamander?! All I want is to beat his face in!

 **Levy:** To be fair, it could just be seen as one big orgy and everyone is shipped with everyone?

 **Gajeel:** Where did that come from Shorty?

 **Levy:** …I… don’t know.

 **Jet:** Why are there so many communities for this ‘Gajevy?’

 **Droy:** What is it?

 **Jet:** Gajeel x Levy…

 **Droy:** WHAT?! But why, if anybody we should be shipped with Levy, we actually care about her!

 **Pantherlily:** She already rejected both of you. And anyway, I’m afraid you weren’t at the council with them, so you missed a big opportunity to try and change that.

 **Juvia:** Juvia thought they were flirting…

 **Jet & Droy:** NO LEVY WHY?!

 **Levy:** …

 **Gajeel:** Hey…

 **Levy:** What is it?

 **Gajeel:** Just so you know I’m not the relationship type!

 **Levy:** Nobody was asking you anyway!

 **Juvia:** Is this a different way of flirting…?


	28. Chapter 28

**FT Characters react to Acnologia’s human form.**

(As requested by PalaDude234)

 

 **Natsu:** So that’s the bastard that killed Igneel huh? It doesn’t matter if he’s human or a dragon, I’m gonna get him either way.

 **Happy:** But Natsu, not even all of us could beat him on Tenrou Island!

 **Natsu:** I’ve had a year of getting stronger Happy! I will beat him!

 **Erza:** Natsu you shouldn’t be so reckless, he could go back to his dragon form at any time and surprise you with it.

 **Natsu:** Then I’ll think of some sort of plan beforehand!

 **Erza:** …You’re going to think about something?

 **Natsu:** Okay so the idea isn’t perfect…

 **Zeref:** Either human or dragon, this monster has the power to rule the world if he so wished. All of you proceed with great caution.

 **Lucy:** WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!

 **Lucy:** And dragon or not that guy’s pretty scary.

 **Acnologia:** I am the dragon king; you surely didn’t expect anything less?

 **Lucy:** …Could people please stop popping up from out of nowhere behind me?

 **Gray:** Hey.

 **Lucy:** …I give up.

 **Gray:** Is it me or does that guy look wild and insane?

 **Wendy:** It’s not you, he looks scary.

 **Carla:** You fought a demon from Tartaros and this is what scares you?

 **Wendy:** He could go big evil dragon on us and this time we might not be able to survive.

 **Zeref:** There will be a way to beat him, be patient and the time will come.

 **Wendy:** You’re scary…

 **Zeref:** But why? I’m so adorable.

 **Lucy:** And scary.

 **Lucy:** Um… Is it bad of me to think that human Acnologia is actually kinda hot?

 **Gray:** …

 **Natsu:** …

 **Erza:** …

 **Wendy:** …

 **Lucy:** You're right, I’m sorry.


	29. Chapter 29

**Guys! Gajeel and Rogue are Acnologia’s sons!**

(As requested by a guest and waveform33)

 

 **Sting:** Rogue is the son of the Dragon King, also known as that evil dragon who wiped Tenrou Island out of history for seven years?

 **Rogue:** Apparently.

 **Sting:** What? You didn’t know?

 **Rogue:** Why would I know that my father is a dragon that can turn into a human? I was an orphan that young, it’s how I was adopted by Skiadrum.

 **Natsu:** Well shouldn’t Gajeel have known something?

 **Gajeel:** …I had my mind wiped?

 **Natsu:** Oh come on!

 **Mirajane:** This can have a positive side.

 **Gajeel:** Apparently my real father is evil, how is there a positive side?

 **Mirajane:** You and Rogue are really brothers now!

 **Gajeel:** …

 **Rogue:** …

 **Erza:** How is there any connection for us to have discovered their relation to Acnologia?

 **Levy:** Hair. Gajeel’s hair is wild and messy and long like Acnologia’s and Rogue’s is simply _trying_ to mimic Gajeel.

 **Gajeel & Rogue:** …Is not.

 **Levy:** What I don’t get is why Future Rogue would have wanted to kill his father.

 **Erza:** You were on Tenrou with us too Levy, can you honestly imagine that with any of the time he spent with his children, Acnologia being a caring father?

 **Levy:** Well I suppose he wouldn’t have spent much time with his sons… Maybe he was too busy being king of the dragons?

 **Sting:** Does that make them princes? Because if so I can exploit the hell out of that.

 **Rogue:** I’m gonna go with no.

 **Mirajane:** Oh! Who do you think their mother is?!

 **Erza:** It surely would have been a human, I don’t suppose many other dragons could change forms and obviously Gajeel and Rogue are human enough.

 **Gajeel:** We have fangs and eat iron and shadows respectively… We are also _dragon_ slayers that at times take on the traits of dragons.

 **Erza:** Human enough most of the time then.

 **Gajeel & Rogue:** …Sure.


	30. Chapter 30

**Fans ship you with Rogue!**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Sting:** YES PLEASE!!

 **Rogue:** …Sting?

 **Sting:** Oh come on, we could legally pass for married! We are always together and with the Exceeds, we are pretty much our own family! So we can give everyone else a chance to speak and then make out later?

 **Rogue:** …

 **Yukino:** Well he did grope me, even if it was accidentally, and he is really good looking. He’s nice and strong and brave… I-if at all possible, I’d love to be shipped with Rogue-sama.

 **Minerva:** He came to save me from Tartaros with Sting; he welcomed me _home_ and gave me a family… Can I please organize a date?

 **Sting:** …I take it you won’t accept this as a good enough reason to get violent will you?

 **Rogue:** No violence.

 **Gajeel:** He is my sworn little brother, I’d feel awkward.

 **Gajeel:** And also just, no.

 **Lucy:** I’m pretty sure I haven’t spoken to him except maybe outside of those Kemokemo filler episodes and some of the later chapters… I’m not entirely sure that’s enough to put us together.

 **Kagura:** Same.

 **Erza:** Ditto.

 **Levy:** I know that apparently we both love reading and he is super-hot…

 **Gajeel:** …Stop showing interest. Please?

 **Natsu:** What is shipping and why would it be Rogue? I barely know the guy for anything really, unless this is fighting, which still no. Too easy. Maybe with Gray though!

 **Gray:** Please don’t talk about me in a shipping list.

 **Gray:** And also, the guy’s cute and all but I don’t really know much about him, so unless it would be to stay near the adorable Exceed of his…

 **Rogue:** Back off! Frosch is mine!

 **Rufus:** I’m pretty sure Sting would kill me, he was rather enthusiastic with his ‘yes please.’

 **Orga:** What he said.

 **Dobengal:** I have no wish to be obliterated by the guild master.

 **Lisanna:** I’m not entirely sure who he is, he’s cute but quiet and also my heart belongs to my sweet little Natsu!

 **Natsu:** I-I’m not sweet or little. I’m older now!

 **Future Rogue:** Why do people enjoy self-cest? I of course have no wish to be paired with my younger self.

 **Rogue’s Shadow:** Even if it’s just to see ‘yourself’ looking pretty?

 **Future Rogue:** …Shut up.


	31. Chapter 31

**Gray and Lucy have just broken up with Juvia and Natsu!**

(As requested by VelocityRaptor)

 

 **Lyon:** YES!!!!! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!!!! MY TIME HAS COME!

 **Ultear:** Are you pleased for a chance with Gray or with Juvia?

 **Lyon:** I before, willingly let Juvia go to follow her dream of being with Gray. They are no longer together, so now I’ve got my chance!

 **Ultear:** That did not answer my question.

 **Mard Geer:** I am pleased about the first part of this news, now the Devil Slayer is all alone and mine for the taking…

 **Gray:** …I just don’t know what to make of that.

 **Meredy:** It was pretty creepy, wasn’t it? However he meant it we should just avoid him.

 **Mard Geer:** No! Come back he-! Hey… Stop backing a-… Quit your running dammit!

 **Meredy:** So Ultear, are you going to ask Gray out when this is over?

 **Ultear:** Do you mean ‘when he probably isn’t on a rebound sort of phase’, or ‘when Juvia’s tears have stopped causing tidal waves’ over?

 **Meredy:** Either really.

 **Ultear:** Maybe, though I’m actually a little afraid the ‘jealous ex-girlfriend’ might try to kill me every second of my life. Do I really want to put up with that?

 **Natsu:** Is Lucy leaving me for Gray?! Is that why this happened?!

 **Gray:** Not exac-

 **Natsu:** You’re dead you girlfriend thief!

[Natsu on Gray violence!]

 **Kyoka:** This is an interesting development indeed. I am somehow reminded of Master E.N.D. …But I am sure I’m just imagining things.

 **Sayla:** Kyoka-sama has a point. The humans rage feels quite familiar… and those flames…

 **Jackal:** Shut up! That guy isn’t anything special!

 **Kyoka:** Are you still bitter at your defeat to him Jackal?

 **Jackal:** HE’S NOT WORTH THE ENERGY, I HAVE NO FEELINGS ABOUT IT AT ALL!!!

 **Sayla:** …Of course you don’t.

 **Mirajane:** Noooooo! Both of my OTPs, ruined!

 **Sayla:** How disappointing. I am so terribly sorry for you.

 **Jackal:** Hey! _Now_ look who’s bitter.

 **Sayla:** _Hey! Shut up!_


	32. Chapter 32

**FT Characters! You’re all ghosts!**

(As requested by waveform33)

 

 **Gajeel:** How am I going to fight anyone now!?

 **Natsu:** MY LIFE IS A WHIRPOOL OF EVER LASTING SUCK!

 **Lucy:** It’s technically death now.

 **Natsu:** …

 **Lucy:** Too soon?

 **Gray:** Do you think I’ll be able to see Ur again? And my parents?

 **Ultear:** We can go looking. I want to see my mother too.

 **Lyon:** …Can I come too?

 **Mirajane:** That is one adorable family trio if I do say so myself.

 **Lisanna:** Can we go find our parents Mira!

 **Elfman:** We do just fine on our own! We don’t need our parents!

 **Lisanna:** We’re dead Elf-nii; I wanna see our parents again.

 **Mirajane:** Elfman, are you crying?

 **Elfman:** N-no, not at all, crying isn’t manly!

 **Bickslow:** Hey does anyone else still have their magic?

 **Freed:** Why, have you still got yours?

 **Bickslow:** Yeah, and it feels stronger than ever! Guess death is good for soul magic!

 **Bickslow:** I wonder what sort of pranks I can pull…

 **Freed:** Bickslow!

 **Bickslow:** I’m a ghost Freed; things that like to haunt people and play tricks on them! If I don’t do that, then what is my reason for living?!

 **Freed:** …

 **Bickslow:** Existing then! I meant existing!

 **Erza:** I wonder if Grandpa Rob is in the afterlife or a ghost… I wanna show him all the cool magic I learnt!

 **Mirajane:** You still can’t ride a broom though…

 **Erza:** Nevertheless he will be proud of me because he is the best man in the world!

 **Jellal:** …

 **Erza:** Best father figure in the world!

 **Makarov:** …

 **Mirajane:** Don’t worry about it Erza, men are just so hard to please!

 **Levy:** Is there a library in the afterlife? Because if yes then I am okay with this.

 **Gajeel:** No more good fights… No chance for potential power ups…

 **Levy:** Well, mostly okay.

 **Lucy:** Does anyone want to know exactly how we’re ghosts in the first place?

 **Lucy:** Because if we were killed then I want to be able to haunt the people who did this to us.

 **Bickslow:** Woohoo! Blondie’s with me Freed! Your argument is invalid!

 **Freed:** How does that make sense to you, at all?

 **Bickslow:** Everyone loves this girl! Absolutely nobody speaks against her really because she’s been taking fear factor lessons from Erza!

 **Lucy:** …No I haven’t.

 **Bickslow:** Well then you’re a natural born scary lady.

 **Lucy:** I AM NOT SCARY! [glowers]

 **Bickslow:** …Sure you’re not.


	33. Chapter 33

**Lyon and Meredy are dating! How do you react?**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Juvia:** Juvia is so happy for Meredy! And is in no way biased because she now has hope for Juvia and Gray-sama!

 **Meredy:** Thank you Juvia! And this is no way the product of bonding over traumatizing memories after witnessing Gray dying!

 **Gray:** …I am uncomfortable.

 **Gray:** But good for you Lyon, I’m sure you and Meredy will be great together.

 **Lyon:** Thanks Gray!

 **Ultear:** No matter if you are a close friend of Gray’s Lyon, if you hurt my daughter I will flay you.

 **Lyon:** Y-yes ma’am!

 **Jellal:** Are we going to have to detour all of the time so you can meet up with your boyfriend?

 **Meredy:** You could always let me go by myself and tell me where to meet up with you again?

 **Jellal:** Don’t be ridiculous, in this series a guild/family must always stick together in times of trouble.

 **Meredy:** What trouble?

 **Jellal:** You have a boyfriend. I am going to be forced to listen to all your gossip because you won’t leave me alone until I chit-chat with you. For me, this is trouble.

 **Meredy:** …Meanie. You didn’t have to put it like that!

 **Jellal:** Oh, I really did.

 **Mirajane:** Such a cute couple! Are you sure you’re not jealous Gray? Juvia?

 **Juvia:** Juvia isn’t! Lyon-sama is happy and Meredy is happy! Juvia likes them both and is happy as long as they are happy.

 **Gray:** Nah I’m not jealous about that, maybe a little that Lyon managed to get a girlfriend before me though.

 **Juvia:** Here Gray-sama! Juvia is right here!

 **Gray:** Never mind though, I can keep looking.


	34. Chapter 34

**Gajevy is canon, thoughts?**

(As requested by TheWorldsInMyHead)

 

 **Jet:** MY LIFE IS OVER, JUST KILL ME NOW!

 **Droy:** LEVY PLEASE COME BACK TO US WE’D NEVER EVER HURT YOU LIKE _HE_ DID!

 **Pantherlily:** Yes, but whenever you went on a job with her, _you’d_ be the ones hurt and Levy had to risk herself to look after you.

 **Jet & Droy:** It’s still not fair!

 **Pantherlily:** By the way, I’m very happy for you Gajeel. And you too Levy, though I suppose things won’t be much different. You were practically married already.

 **Levy:** Yeah, Mira pointed that out to us when she finally managed to get us together.

 **Pantherlily:** I should have known that she had something to do with it. Gajeel’s too stubborn to do anything like that without help, huh?

 **Gajeel:** SHUT UP CAT!

 **Mirajane:** You’re sweet when you blush Gajeel.

 **Gajeel:** …Shut up, demon barmaid.

 **Lucy:** Good for you Levy! You finally got that guy you like!

 **Levy:** I feel super awesome about it! As if I could walk on air!

 **Lucy:** That’s so adorable!!

 **Mirajane:** Your welcome~!

 **Juvia:** Juvia is very happy that you have found someone to be with Gajeel.

 **Gajeel:** …Thanks. And good luck to you too.

 **Juvia:** Fingers crossed! Aah, Gray-sama. [fangirling]

 **Gajeel:** Oh that weirdo…

 **Gray:** Well I suppose after the last chapter it’s inevitable this would’ve happened. I mean, he landed right on her chest. And they were both naked so… yeah.

 **Jet & Droy:** WHY WOULD LEVY DO THAT?!

 **Gray:** Well technically it was Gajeel who ‘made the move’ so she’s kinda innocent in all that.

 **Gray:** I don’t know about afterwards though.

 **Jet & Droy:** …It’s ok, we’re in an alternate reality that is much like hell, this news is not real, it’s not…

 **Levy:** Poor guys.

 **Gajeel:** Eh, leave ‘em. They’ll get over it.

 **Levy:** Yeah…

 **Mirajane:** I, of course, am very pleased that I managed to get these two together.

 **Lisanna:** They just fit, don’t they? I’m with Lucy on this. It’s adorable.

 **Elfman:** How do they fit? Gajeel’s pretty big and Levy’s really short and tiny.

 **Lisanna:** You didn’t need to say two things about Levy brother.

 **Gajeel:** …Nobody gets to call her short but me. That is my thing now.

 **Elfman:** Ah, ok man-

[Gajeel on Elfman violence!]

 **Mirajane:** You were right about adorable Lisanna, Lucy.

 **Lisanna:** It’s cute of him to defend her honour/his nickname’s for her!

 **Lucy:** Someone grab a camera, this is gold!

 **Wendy:** Even though she’s really small, she managed to get with someone…

 **Wendy:** So does that mean I have hope for the future Carla?

 **Carla:** Wendy, you’re thirteen, we don’t need you to be thinking about that just yet.

 **Wendy:** I guess you’re right, I can wait.

 **Romeo:** So I guess I’ll just give these flowers back then.

 **Mirajane:** Alright, new OTP sighted.

 **Background Lucy:** Phew!

 **Mirajane:** Though of course I have to fix up my Nalu first…

 **Lucy:** …But why?


	35. Chapter 35

**Laxus and Jellal are going out!**

(As requested by breathingoxyken)

 

 **Freed:** Laxus swung that way after all, and he didn’t choose me…?

 **Freed:** WHERE DID I GO WRONG?!

 **Mirajane:** Erza are you okay?

 **Erza:** Of course I am, why?

 **Mirajane:** Erza, you look as if you’re stuck between having a nosebleed and crying.

 **Erza:** I am _not_.

 **Mirajane:** I’ll go get you the tissues anyway… Perhaps a pack for both things?

 **Erza:** Thank you.

 **Mirajane:** Though I might borrow a few, and bring a few extra packs in case.

 **Freed:** Can I have some too?

 **Makarov:** Well I suppose it isn’t a surprise that Laxus is dating a fugitive… He’s not exactly the best at choices.

 **Jellal:** Do not insult my boyfriend, there will be consequences.

 **Laxus:** I can threaten him myself, you know?

 **Jellal:** Perhaps I wanted to show off a little?

 **Laxus:** And this would be why I’m dating you.

 **Jellal:** And other reasons, right?

 **Laxus:** Of course!

 **Freed:** Mira! Please hurry with those tissues?!

 **Bickslow:** Wow this is awesome! Hey Ever! Do you think I’ll get some more alone time with my babies now?!

 **Evergreen:** they hang around you all the time and you’re always running off pulling pranks on people anyway with them. Does it really matter?

 **Bickslow:** Well you’re no fun! Consider yourself on the pranks list!

 **Evergreen:** [facepalm] Such a child.

 **Meredy:** How does Jellal find time to date?! I barely have time to do my hair in the mornings!

 **Ultear:** …You do your hair?

 **Meredy:** YES!

 **Ultear:** Huh. Well besides that, Jellal I approve of this couple.

 **Laxus:** It’s because we’re both hot isn’t it?

 **Ultear:** Yes. Very much so.

 **Gajeel:** They did seem to get along well at the Grand Magic Games…

 **Gajeel:** Guess it’s true what they say. ‘If people think you’re gay for one another, then you’re doing friendship right.’

 **Cana:** Is that really what ‘they say?’

 **Gajeel:** Eh, probably not but I definitely thought they were gay for one another.

 **Cana:** ???!

 **Gajeel:** Did you just speak in punctuation?

 **Cana:** Don’t answer a question (mark) with another question!

 **Gajeel:** …Fine. They just seemed super into each other, since when does Laxus give out advice? And helpful advice at that! I’m pretty sure they were ‘hanging out’ after we got to leave the stadium.

 **Erza & Freed:** MIRA-A-A-A-A [sobbing] PLEASE HURRY?!


	36. Chapter 36

**Kyoka is the mother of the Strauss’! What is your reaction?**

(As requested by breathingoxyken)

 

 **Erza:** WHAT?! Mira, I thought your parents were both dead! Explain!

 **Mirajane:** …

 **Elfman:** …

 **Lisanna:** …

 **Erza:** …Perhaps later then?

 **Makarov:** Eh, bu, b, a wha?!

 **Porlyusica:** Oh honestly you fool, this is quite obvious.

 **Makarov:** How?! How is this obvious?! Do tell!

 **Porlyusica:** Tch.

 **Makarov:** Oh come on! ...

 **Porlyusica:** Kyoka looks quite similar to Mirajane’s Satan Soul. Now if you focus on those two you obviously think that they are both demons. Mirajane as the eldest probably inherited that ‘demon factor’ from a parent and in this case it would appear to be the mother, which can explain the similarities. It is a stretch, but you must obviously take into account the influence of the father’s genes, I imagine that Lisanna and Elfman take more after him.

 **Makarov:** Please remind me to never ask you to explain things again?

[Porlyusica is suddenly waving a broom wildly at all people!]

 **Max:** My broom! Noooooo!

[Max has been hit on the head by a wild Porlyusica!]

 **Natsu:** Does this mean that Mirajane has more awesome power now?

 **Gray:** Probably, why? …Oh no! Don’t even-

 **Natsu:** Mirajane fight me!

 **Erza:** No violence Natsu.

 **Natsu:** …Spoilsport. The old lady gets to be violent!

 **Porlyusica:** And just who are you calling an old lady?!

 **Natsu:** [running for his life]

 **Jackal:** So Kyoka had children? Does anybody even know how demonic pregnancies even work?

 **Franmalth:** I don’t think so… I’m more curious as to who the father is.

 **Silver:** …

 **Kyoka:** …

 **Mirajane, Elfman, Lisanna & Gray:** NO! NO, NO, NO, NO!! NOOOOOOO!!!

 **Gray:** NOTHING IN MY LIFE HAS EVER BEEN AS TRAUMATIC AS THIS!!!

 **Strauss’:** Tell us about it, we don’t need _another_ sibling!

 **Mirajane:** But of course… we are, uh, overjoyed to have you as a brother Gray.

 **Gray:** Where’d Natsu run off to? I need a fight, and I need one now.

 **Elfman:** I’m coming too! Fights to vent… manly.

 **Silver:** So am I really the father of those three too?

 **Kyoka:** I hope not.

 **Silver:** Everyone is mean to me…!

 **Sayla:** Kyoka-sama is the mother of the family that fought me…?

 **Sayla:** I deeply respect and care for Kyoka-sama, and deeply loathe and despise her offspring… I am conflicted.

 **Kyoka:** Don’t pick sides; you will get headaches if you do. Take it from someone with experience.

 **Sayla:** …?

 **Kyoka:** No comment.


	37. Chapter 37

**FT Characters! Cobra and Lucy are dating! Reactions?**

(As requested by Eien ni Touko)

 

 **Natsu:** …Lucy?

 **Lucy:** He’s just really good looking?

 **Mirajane:** …

 **Lucy:** W-what is it Mira?

 **Mirajane:** If he has wrecked my OTP then I want to find at least one thing as a good reason, and good looks don’t count.

 **Gray:** Perhaps she feels sorry for him because all he wanted was his snake friend and Lucy is surrounded by friends all the time. I’d feel sorry for him too.

 **Mirajane:** Perhaps…

 **Erza:** Maybe now that he’s on the good team alongside us, Lucy thinks his appeal has gone up? As if she wanted him beforehand but was scared of going out with someone evil.

 **Mirajane:** Hmm…

 **Lisanna:** What if Cobra just always thought Lucy was pretty, and he was cute – even though he’s way hotter than that – and thought that together they could be pretty cute? Which they really are!

 **Mirajane:** We can come up with something later… But for now, congratulations Lucy! If the two of you break up, I will not hesitate to start trying you to go out with Natsu.

 **Lucy:** Cobra I love you forever and will never ever leave you.

 **Mirajane:** Aww…

 **Natsu:** I don’t think she should be dating a former enemy, and I’m a little upset she didn’t want to date me…

 **Cobra:** WHAT?!

 **Natsu:** … _What_?

 **Natsu:** …But I will support this relationship, if only because then I get to punch him in the face if he hurts her.

 **Lucy:** If that happens; Natsu, there won’t be anything left for you to punch.

 **Natsu:** Okay I know you’ve been taking lessons from Erza, but please draw the line at stopping my violence?!

 **Lucy:** What lessons with Erza?

 **Natsu:** …

 **Cobra:** That’s my girl!

 **Gray:** I know! It’s kinda like an AU Jerza! Only it was just one of them at the Tower of Heaven! So it could be like this: Cobra was the one enslaved and after freedom, merely wanted to hear his friend again, when that failed he latched onto something similar. And Lucy is _kinda_ like Kinana…

 **Cobra:** …

 **Lucy:** …He’s onto us.

 **Mirajane:** OMG that’s adorable! Lucy, take a break from writing your novel and instead write a fic about the story of your love!

 **Lucy:** Gah!

 **Cobra:** Let’s run for it!

 **Lucy:** _Way_ ahead of you!

 **Gray:** …

 **Erza:** …

 **Lisanna:** …

 **Natsu:** …Well, that happened.


	38. Chapter 38

**Lyon to everyone, “stay away from Gray!”**

(As requested by Vedra77)

 

**To Natsu:**

“Gray likes getting into fights with you most of the time, and I suppose people see that as shippy, especially with your bouts of friendship where you make an impassioned speech to motivate him. You have been friends at first sight since you were both children - even though neither of you will admit it - and have always been there for one another. And you definitely seem to have most of the fangirls on your side and… oh wow, I should probably start changing my argument huh? But I have a bigger history with him. My presence in his life before yours had a big impact on him, and we were both tiny adorable (mostly naked) kids together. I’m pretty sure that off screen I helped Ur pull him out of the rubble after Deliora’s attack… And I was there when he ‘died’. I screamed his name, it was shippy. And while Fire and Ice seems quite poetic it really just creates water or steam, and while the latter could be shippy it just gets in your eyes and stings a lot, Gray actually _likes_ his ability to see.”

“I’m actually sure you don’t want to date him anyway, why am I even writing to you?”

Sincerely, Lyon.

 

**To Juvia:**

“You are a strong beautiful woman and would gladly do anything for Gray, but you are also a stalker who collects creepy merchandise of him and freaks him out. I on the other hand have a small rivalry with him, and if the ship for him and Natsu is any indication, that is a point in _my_ favour.”

Please don’t kill me? Best wishes, Lyon.

 

**To Lucy:**

“Whenever he helps you out and saves you, you usually repay Gray by whacking him really hard or yelling loudly because of his stripping habit. Do me a favour? Ask out Natsu and leave Gray for me; you seem to like Dragneel better anyway.”

Sincerely, Lyon.

 

**To Erza:**

“You listened to his speech on Galuna Island and didn’t try to stop him after he so rudely pushed your sword away, and didn’t beat him up. He then later repaid the favour by not arguing (much) when you wanted to retreat from Phantom Lord, and at the Tower of Heaven there was an admittedly cute little flashback where he found you crying and there were blushes. But you are more like an older sister to him now, and he isn’t Jellal anyway.”

Sincerely, Lyon.

 

**To Loke:**

“So apparently you and Gray have been friends for ages? That’s me and him but more long term, and I keep pushing him to be better so he can beat me. You’ve been revealed to be a Celestial Spirit bound to another of his friends I don’t want him dating. You don’t actually get that many visits to Earth Land anymore and Gray deserves something more than a long distance relationship; with me, I can just visit whenever I want, the journey isn’t _too_ far away. I just think you may have lost your shot now that you’re contracted to Lucy, please understand?”

Sincerely, Lyon.

 

**To Ultear:**

“I believe you have more a brotherly/sisterly relationship with him, it would be weird. And if you could get past that, think, he sealed away your darkness? Do you know who else has done that? Your mother, Ur. So they have that in common, and do you really want to date somebody who could potentially remind you of your parent? Who in turn, was actually like a mother to Gray? Also you have now become a very old lady with not much longer to live, that triples the weirdness.”

Sincerely, Lyon.

 

**To Cana:**

“I personally don’t understand why you and Gray are a ship. You don’t drink with him and that seems to be the main activity for your day. You also seem too keen on groping Lucy’s breasts at every opportunity, so I suggest dating her… or your alcohol, you seem weirdly attached to that.”

Sincerely, Lyon.

 

**To Laxus:**

“According to fans, whenever there is something for you and Gray it’s porn. If you only want him for porn look somewhere else, believe me you will have no trouble. Gray does not deserve to be used purely for sex, and I have chemistry with him that would make for a better relationship, I think I’ve got this one in the bag.”

Sincerely, Lyon.

 

**To Freed:**

“You seem a little too formal for somebody with a habit of taking off his clothes and fighting very much. Also you seem very obsessed with Laxus and not interested in Gray anyway.”

Sincerely, Lyon.

 

**To Hibiki:**

“…While it is true that you are very attractive, you seem to be more into women, as in you were in love with Karen Lilica. Also you look very weirdly like Gray’s friend Loke who he doesn’t get to see much and that _could_ make him feel bad.”

“Why is this a ship anyway?”

Sincerely Lyon.


	39. Chapter 39

**FT characters stage an intervention for Natsu.**

(As requested by Vedra77)

 

 **Gray:** Have a seat Natsu, we need to talk.

 **Lucy:** Natsu we all care about you which is why we’re here.

 **Gajeel:** I don’t care about you, Titania just dragged me along.

 **Erza:** Quiet Gajeel, nobody wants to hear that.

 **Natsu:** So far all I’ve got is that people, except Gajeel, care about me and you’ve gathered here and are asking me to sit. Why? Is this a birthday party? I’m pretty sure it’s not my birthday yet.

 **Gray:** It’s an intervention you dolt.

 **Natsu:** But why?!

 **Lucy:** You keep setting too many things on fire, you destroy a town practically every other day, and that’s being generous.

 **Natsu:** Well even if that’s true, why aren’t you doing this for Gray’s stupid habit or Cana’s drinking problem?

 **Cana:** Hey! I do not have a drinking problem! [goes right back to drinking]

 **Erza:** Didn’t you get the memo? Those two are next week.

 **Gray & Cana:** WHAT?!

 **Erza:** Anyway, back on track now please?

 **Lucy:** Okay. Natsu you are my best friend and I love you but your pyro senses scare me.

 **Natsu:** You have to know I would never hurt you Luce.

 **Lucy:** You still set me on fire via voodoo doll.

 **Natsu:** To beat the dark guild guy, we won didn’t we?

 **Lucy:** There was no telling if I’d come out of it charred or not!

 **Natsu:** I was aware you had main character plot armour?

 **Lucy:** …

 **Gray:** You still destroy too much stuff charcoal breath.

 **Erza:** It’s true; you destroy more than anyone in the guild.

 **Natsu:** Because I’m fighting someone! It’s not completely my fault that stuff gets damaged! The villain usually breaks things too.

 **Erza:** Yes, but does the villain usually cause explosions that decimate an entire town with just his power.

 **Natsu:** Jackal.

 **Erza:** I said usually.

 **Gajeel:** Look idiot, I broke your guildhall, I shoved these giant beams of iron through the walls and forced you guys to work in the basement. I know destruction, and even I’ve never been as bad as you when it comes to smashing things to bits.

 **Natsu:** But-!

 **Erza:** Natsu, if you don’t bring down your habit then the master is going to keep being flooded with bills to pay for damages. And the more letters of apology he has to write out, the closer you get to having to go through _that_.

 **Natsu:** Oh no! Anything but _that_!

 **Gray:** I’d rather die than go through _that_ again! Natsu, do this to save yourself!

 **Lucy:** Okay would somebody please explain what _that_ is to me!? I still don’t know and it still really freaks me out!!

 **Gajeel:** Look blondie, Master Jose had a big bad punishment back at Phantom Lord, you really don’t want to know what _that_ is. Trust me on this.

 **Lucy:** Please drop your habit, Natsu I’m scared.


	40. Chapter 40

**FT Characters hold an intervention for Cana.**

(As requested by Vedra77 and waveform33)

 

 **Mirajane:** Cana we need to talk.

 **Cana:** Why?

 **Mirajane:** You need to cut back on the drinking a bit.

 **Cana:** Why?

 **Mirajane:** Ok stop that it’s annoying.

 **Cana:** Why?

 **Mirajane:** _Cana._

 **Elfman:** Back on topic, please?

 **Mirajane:** …Fine.

 **Mirajane:** I am the one who serves you your alcohol, I know exactly how much of it you drink, and I am completely aware that when you start referring to it as your boyfriend, that is too many.

 **Cana:** Hey, that was one barrel!

 **Elfman:** Exactly, it was a _barrel_!

 **Cana:** A real man would be quiet and let the ladies have a proper catfight.

 **Elfman:** …Dammit.

 **Bickslow:** Look Cana, I’m all for getting drunk and wild, but not even I’d drink as much as you do, and you don’t even seem to get drunk! What is with that?!

 **Cana:** Trade secret, and not one I give to people with restrictions on their alcohol.

 **Bickslow:** …Dammit.

 **Kinana:** Please Cana; your body must be at least 80% alcohol at this point! Natsu and Laxus rarely even come near you for fear that you’ll spontaneously combust!

 **Cana:** 80%, really?

 **Kinana:** Yes!

 **Cana:** I’ve obviously got to drink a whole lot more if I’m only 80% at this point.

 **Kinana:** But why?!

 **Bacchus:** Yo Cana! Wanna go out and grab a barrel?

 **Cana:** Anytime, and this time I’m gonna drink more than you!

 **Bacchus:** Not likely! You’d have to be made of alcohol to do that!

 **Kinana:** _Oh_.

 **Mirajane:** That is such a cute couple OMG! Have fun Cana!

 **Cana:** Thanks Mira!

 **Elfman:** …So when do we talk to big sis about her habit of matchmaking?


	41. Chapter 41

**FT Characters hold an intervention for Gray.**

(As requested by Vedra77 and waveform33)

 

 **Erza:** Sit down Gray. We are here today to tell you something.

 **Gray:** …Yes. Start with that. It’s very encouraging.

 **Erza:** _Sit_.

[Gray is sinking very low into a chair]

 **Erza:** Good, now we will talk.

 **Natsu:** I wanna go first!

 **Erza:** [sighs] Very well.

 **Natsu:** Gray, you’re a total idiotic Ice Princess and I don’t like you. At all. Ever.

 **Gray:** Um…

 **Natsu:** But Erza threatened me to say that your biggest problem is your stripping. Even though it’s totally that you’re a weak pansy I could beat in a fight any day.

 **Gray:** A: I don’t lose my clothes on purpose. B: If you think you could beat me in a fight, you must still have a concussion from how badly I beat you yesterday. C: You’re calling _me_ an idiot? Are you itching for a fight?!

 **Natsu:** Bring it snow fairy!

 **Erza:** Enough!

 **Natsu & Gray:** [are sitting quietly in their seats]

 **Lucy:** I’ll go next then. Gray, you’re habit is really freaky and I don’t like it.

 **Gray:** It’s not on purpose!

 **Lyon:** Look Gray, you just really need to fix this. It gets awkward realizing that you’re suddenly talking to someone who only has his underwear on.

 **Gray:** Oh yeah, like you’re one to talk!

 **Juvia:** You are all fools! Gray-sama is perfect and if he wants to lose his shirt then fine! It does not affect his work as Gray-sama doesn’t get cold. And even if he should lose his trousers next then he has still got his underwear. Those can pass for shorts. And it is not his fault that he strips in the first place anyway!!!

 **Everyone:** [shocked silence]

 **Gray:** THANK YOU!!!


	42. Chapter 42

**FT Characters discover I’m writing these lists.**

(As requested by waveform33)

 

 **Freed:** She supports me and Laxus? …Can I print that one of us making out, off?

 **Laxus:** Dunno why you’re asking me.

 **Freed:** Why wouldn’t I?

 **Laxus:** She ships nearly everything, those ‘Fraxus’ parts aren’t special.

 **Freed:** [anime tears]

 **Gray:** I dunno why she ships me with Lyon, it’s not like I like him or anything.

 **Lyon:** And I definitely don’t love you either! My heart belongs to my Juvia-chan!

 **Gray:** I didn’t say anything about love, I don’t like you at all, and that’s the story.

 **Lyon:** Love, what love? Did I say love? I know nothing about any love!

 **Erza:** Is that why he’s ranting on about it? Because he has never known it?

 **Lucy:** I don’t think it’s that…

 **Lucy:** And anyway, I’m surprised the author would pair me up with Natsu. We’re really just friends!

 **Erza:** Nobody buys that Lucy.

 **Lucy:** Drat.

 **Erza:** I approve of these lists, they are mildly amusing.

 **Lucy:** Yeah nobody buys that, we all know it’s your inner pervert talking.

[Lucy’s body is mysteriously bleeding against the wall!]

 **Erza:** I have no such thing.

 **Levy:** The naughty books you take from me say otherwise.

[Levy’s body is mysteriously bleeding against the wall!]

 **Gajeel:** I dunno why she keeps making me say all of those weird things. It’s not as if I like shorty that way. And I’m a freaking badass! She should stop making me seem like such a dork!

 **Natsu:** You are a dork.

 **Gajeel:** You’re one to talk, aren’t you just always saying that you don’t like Gray at all, making it completely obvious that you at least don’t hate him.

 **Natsu:** …Shut up.

 **Makarov:** Is nobody thinking about how if she is writing us into these lists, then we don’t truly have any control over ourselves?

 **Mirajane:** A good point, but we’re anime and manga characters, we don’t really have any control over ourselves anyway.

 **Mirajane:** I wish she’d stop portraying me as a multi shipper though, I really only want to see Lucy and Natsu together, or possibly Gray and Lucy…

 **Lucy:** They’re just my friends!

 **Mirajane:** Nobody buys that Lucy. I am merely making a- oh never mind, she can portray me as a multi shipper.

 **Lucy:** What is it Mira?

 **Mirajane:** Oh nothing, I’m just thinking about how cute you’d be with Yukino from Sabertooth and Levy with Gajeel and…

 **Lucy:** …

 **Yukino:** … [blush]

 **Lucy:** Oh my God!

 **Sting:** …

 **Rogue:** …

 **Sting:** …But why does she ship us?

 **Rogue:** Because we have a good chemistry, really shippy moments, are pretty much family already, a history and would be really hot.

 **Sting:** …Why was that your answer?

 **Rogue:** Technically it’s yours. It’s what you said in a previous list.

 **Sting:** That wasn’t really me!

 **Rogue:** But you’re blushing.

 **Sting:** From anger!

 **Rogue:** …Whatever you say Sting.


	43. Chapter 43

**Tartaros finds out that Natsu is E.N.D.**

(As requested by VelocityRaptor and Tgamering)

 

 **Jackal:** NO! ABSOLUTELY NO WAY IN HELL CAN THIS BE TRUE!!

 **Kyoka:** Calm yourself Jackal.

 **Jackal:** Oh come on Kyoka! That guy’s a nothing, just some stupid human that got in our way!

 **Kyoka:** And defeated us, he was a big factor of our defeat. Stop being bitter about this and consider it a good thing, our loss is now a little less embarrassing.

 **Franmalth:** It really isn’t.

 **Sayla:** I agree with Kyoka-sama, being defeated by a mere human is a great humiliation. But being defeated by our master is less so.

 **Franmalth:** We could have just not been defeated in the first place?

 **Sayla:** He is the main protagonist, your argument is invalid.

 **Torafusa:** But I would have killed him! Surely master E.N.D. would have been able to overcome me? That fool just got knocked unconscious!

 **Tempesta:** Remember that at this point he is completely unaware of whom he truly is and _does_ only have the powers of an ordinary wizard, though admittedly a bit stronger.

 **Jackal:** NO! He is not stronger, he is a regular human!!

 **Tempesta:** Stop being in denial Jackal, you got beaten, leave it at that.

 **Jackal:** …Sleep with one eye open tonight.

 **Mard Geer:** So it has absolutely nothing to do with that awful Devil Slayer that I lost? I suppose this news is quite pleasant.

 **Kyoka:** You’re kind of obsessed with that Gray guy, you know that?

 **Mard Geer:** Am not, shut up!

 **Kyoka:** …

 **Ezel:** Master E.N.D. was some scrawny weakling? Pfft!

 **Zeref:** Take care of how you speak about him; he would destroy you in an instant.

 **Keith:** Didn’t you lose to a 12 year old girl? Who generally avoids fighting and who prefers to heal more than anything.

 **Ezel:** …Shut up.

 **Silver:** So this guy Natsu Dragneel is E.N.D. huh? A member of the Fairy Tail Guild who works with Gray? Who is probably Gray’s best friend?

 **Zeref:** Yes.

 **Silver:** …

 **Silver:** Oh dear.


	44. Chapter 44

**FT Characters just caught Gajeel and Levy making out in the closet!**

(As requested by VelocityRaptor)

 

 **Lucy:** Levy, we will talk about this later, not now. So Gajeel please stop glaring at me?

 **Natsu:** [instantly punched]

 **Gray:** I’ll just leave you now.

 **Erza:** [quickly slams the door and runs away to gossip to Mira]

 **Freed:** [quietly closes the door, blushing]

 **Juvia:** Juvia is very happy for you Gajeel!

 **Juvia:** Now where is Gray-sama…?

 **Jet & Droy:** LEVY NO-O-O-O[sobs]O-O-O!! [breaks down crying]

 **Makarov:** Gajeel you lucky…

 **Cana:** Good for you Levy! Come have a drink with me later!

 **Laxus:** [walks past uninterested]

 **Bickslow:** Hey Ever, maybe next time this could be you and Elfman!

 **Evergreen:** I-I don’t like him that way you fool!

 **Jose:** A tiny shrimp like that? Gajeel I’m disappointed in you.

[Gajeel on Jose violence!]

 **Lisanna:** Oh this is so cute!

 **Elfman:** So you have a piercing on your tongue too Gajeel?

 **Mirajane:** Erza was right, this is adorable! I should have brought my camera…

 **Loke:** I have some serious work to do otherwise I won’t be featured in ‘couple of the month’…

 **Natsu:** Hey you didn’t have to hit me earlier! [dragged away by Erza and Mirajane]

 **Rogue:** …This will not give me ideas; this will not give me ideas.

 **Sting:** I have ideas.

 **Rogue:** Drat.

 **Macao:** Hey, look Wakaba! If Gajeel can get a girl then we might still have chances!

 **Wakaba:** Hey you’re right; we may have a shot, if we go far… far away.

 **Macao:** Maybe not that far, I mean, look at Gajeel.

 **Gajeel:** And just what do you mean by, ‘look at Gajeel’?

 **Macao:** Oh man I’m so sor-

[Gajeel on Macao violence!]

 **Wakaba:** I guess the magazines are fine.


	45. Chapter 45

**Reactions to Rogue groping Yukino.**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Sting:** Oh I remember that! Now that I think back on it, that was pretty funny!

 **Yukino:** …

 **Sting:** But bad. It was also very bad. Yes.

 **Rufus:** I’ll admit, I’m a little surprised that _Rogue_ would do something like that.

 **Orga:** Didn’t know he had it in him, our boy’s growing up.

 **Rogue:** I-It wasn’t on purpose!

 **Orga:** …Oh.

 **Minerva:** How could you do such a thing Rogue?! Touching a lady like that, I thought you were different!

 **Yukino:** It really was just an accident Minerva-sama!

 **Lector:** That’s still a pretty crappy thing to do, but I can’t really remember exactly how it happened… Shame on you still Rogue!

 **Rogue:** …

 **Rogue:** A cat. I was just scolded by a cat.

 **Lector:** Excuse you that’s ‘Exceed!’

 **Frosch:** Fro thinks so too!

 **Rogue:** …

 **Lucy:** He groped her? That’s it! He’s in for a beating!

 **Mirajane:** I think we should make sure Yukino is okay first; that must have been really embarrassing!

 **Kagura:** Poor girl, I wonder if she’s been traumatized… Such a crime shall not go unpunished!

 **Erza:** Indeed! Justice will be served!

 **Sting:** Oh yeah, now that I think about it once more, that was pretty bad…

 **Rogue & Yukino:** IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT!


	46. Chapter 46

**Chelia and Wendy are dating!**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Mest:** That is the most adorable couple I’ve ever seen.

 **Makarov:** Indeed. Rather predictable too.

 **Natsu:** Yeah, even I saw the sparks between them.

 **Gajeel:** And that’s saying something.

 **Natsu:** Yeah, that’s-

 **Natsu:** And just what are you implying by that?

 **Gajeel:** I’m not implying anything, you’re an idiot.

 **Erza:** Do not start a fight you two.

 **Gajeel & Natsu:** Yes ma’am.

 **Erza:** And also this is definitely the sweetest couple ever. I won’t have any disagreements.

 **Lucy:** Even without the fear factor, nobody would say otherwise.

 **Erza:** What fear factor?

 **Lucy:** …

 **Gray:** Am I really going to be the first to actually congratulate these two?

 **Lyon:** Apparently so. Though it may be good for you to be marginally intelligent for once.

 **Gray:** That’s more of an insult for Natsu.

 **Lyon:** But it still suits you so perfectly.

 **Lyon:** And besides, I should also comment that I am very pleased for you Chelia. And of course you aswell Wendy.

 **Wendy & Chelia:** Thank you!

 **Lyon:** Be good to one another.

 **Chelia:** Definitely!

 **Wendy:** Of course!

 **Lyon:** …So adorable.

 **Sherry:** This is wonderful, truly a great form of ‘LOVE’!

 **Ren:** It’s not like I care about how sweet this is or anything.

 **Eve:** I’m so glad that Wendy has found someone; she’s such a good girl.

 **Hibiki:** I’m surely not the only one concerned about how young they both are?

 **Jura:** No. But it’s not as if they’re doing anything too serious. Just let them have their fun for now.

 **Erza:** Well said!

 **Carla:** I’m not very happy about you dating while you’re still so young.

 **Carla:** And the age difference isn’t great…

 **Carla:** But you two care about one another, and I’m happy for you.

 **Wendy:** I’m tearing up!

 **Chelia:** Me too!


	47. Chapter 47

**Guys! Natsu is leaving Fairy Tail!**

(As requested by Tgamering)

 

 **Everybody:** WHAT!?!?!

 **Lucy:** I-I can’t believe this, I just can’t.

 **Wendy:** No… Natsu can’t leave…

 **Makarov:** Well he hasn’t been that destructive lately so I wouldn’t have excommunicated him… And I can’t understand why he’d go voluntarily…

 **Makarov:** NATSU WHY?!

 **Erza:** Master, are you crying?

 **Makarov:** One of my children is leaving me, of course I’m crying!

 **Lisanna:** Why would he go? Why would he leave us? …

[Elfman hugs]

 **Lisanna:** Thanks big bro…

 **Gajeel:** Good riddance.

[Levy handbag attack!]

 **Levy:** You do _not_ have to be such a jerk!

 **Gajeel:** …Sorry.

 **Happy:** I don’t see why everybody’s so upset.

 **Carla:** YOU’RE GOING WITH HIM!

 **Happy:** Oh yeah!

 **Carla:** [facepaws]

 **Sting:** Do you think he’ll join Sabertooth?

 **Rogue:** I hope not.

 **Sting:** Eh! Why?

 **Rogue:** You destroy enough as it is, we do not need him to give us more bills to pay. Think of all the letters of apology you’d have to write, and the complaints from the Council… Think Sting.

 **Sting:** …Please don’t join my guild Natsu?

 **Lucy:** It has to be a threat right? He’s being forced to leave because of a dark guild, they’re blackmailing him with something. Please, that has to be it!

[Group hug]

 **Lucy:** I needed that.

 **Gray:** …

 **Erza:** Are you alright Gray?

 **Gray:** No. Not really.

 **Gray:** My biggest rival and best friend is leaving our family, our home, and I definitely don’t feel great about it.

 **Gray:** But I’m sure he’s got his reasons, so I can wait until his business is done and he finds his way back.

 **Gray:** Because he’s a Fairy Tail wizard!

 **Makarov:** [bawling on the floor]

 **Erza:** …Well said.


	48. Chapter 48

**Mystogan looks like Jellal, your reactions?**

(As requested by Unexpected Hopeless Romantic)

 

 **Erza:** Well at least we’re not so confused about that now.

 **Natsu:** Maybe _you’re_ not.

 **Gray:** You really are such an idiot aren’t you?

 **Natsu:** Oi! You trying to pick a fight with me?!

 **Erza:** That is enough!

 **Lucy:** You just don’t want anybody interrupting your Jellal time, right Erza?

 **Erza:** Of course.

 **Lucy:** …It’s weird that you agreed so quickly.

 **Erza:** Sorry, I’ll try not to let it happen again.

 **Gajeel:** One of the fellow S-Class wizards looked like your boyfriend Scarlet? You mustn’t have been that surprised at Kardia Cathedral.

 **Erza:** And just what are you implying?

 **Gajeel:** Oh I think you know.

[Erza on Gajeel violence!]

 **Erza:** Also Jellal wasn’t and isn’t my boyfriend.

 **Lucy:** …It’s weird that you denied that so slowly.

 **Erza:** Fast, slow, you’re never satisfied are you?

 **Lucy:** …

 **Gray:** I’ll admit that this still weirds me out a little, that whole thing with Edolas was just wacky.

 **Juvia:** Juvia is still very much confused!

 **Gray:** How come?

 **Juvia:** This Jellal looks like Gray-sama!

 **Gray:** …Does not.

 **Gajeel:** Don’t worry about it, she thinks that everybody looks like you after a while.

 **Gray:** …

 **Edolas Lucy:** So our king looks like some guy from Earth Land? Pfft. Big deal.

 **Edolas Levy:** Ugh, not another Earth Land guy you’re crushing on!

 **Edolas Lucy:** Shut it!

 **Edolas Levy:** Make me!

[Edolas Lucy and Levy violence!]

 **Loke:** Going back to that thing with Jellal… I actually think it’s pretty cool.

 **Lucy:** Why?

 **Loke:** I remember seeing two of Lucy in Edolas; that was a dream come true. And Siegrain, well Jellal, was pretty handsome. For any girls, having Jellal and Mystogan must be their dream come true.

 **Lucy:** Except they’re now in different worlds!

 **Loke:** Could’ve been good while it lasted.

 **Ultear:** Jellal had a double? Neat.

 **Meredy:** ‘Neat?’

 **Ultear:** From what I understand, Mystogan had impressive power, much like Jellal. That’s pretty neat.

 **Meredy:** Huh. Now I feel shallow for just thinking ‘sexy.’

 **Ultear:** Don’t worry, it’s that too.

 **Cobra:** I’ve never met this Edolas Jellal so this doesn’t matter to me much.

 **Angel:** Or to me.

 **Jellal:** I didn’t know him so this is irrelevant news.

 **Mystogan:** Hello.

 **Jellal:** I-it’s like looking in a mirror!

 **Angel:** T-this is incredible!

 **Cobra:** Too weird, too weird!

 **Erza:** Two Jellals…? [faints]


	49. Chapter 49

**Mard Geer and Gray are dating!**

(As requested by Vedra77)

 

 **Natsu:** WHAT IN HELL ARE YOU THINKING?!

 **Erza:** I have to agree with Natsu, Gray have you gone insane?!

 **Juvia:** Juvia is perfectly fine.

 **Lucy:** Fine how?! How exactly could you be fine?!

 **Juvia:** Juvia is fine; Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional! [sobbing]

[A sudden flood is destroying Magnolia!]

 **The Mayor:** NOT AGAIN!

 **Lyon:** I’m disappointed Gray, hooking up with the villain?

 **Gray:** Love knows no bounds!

 **Ultear:** I am displeased.

 **Gray:** Look, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

 **Kyoka:** Master? What devilry is this?

 **Mard Geer:** I’m a demon, so I see this ‘devilry’ as merely embracing my true nature?

 **Kyoka:** Your true nature is a perfect evil that tried to kill your supposed boyfriend.

 **Mard Geer:** Silence! I am the boss of you, you will not question me!

 **Zeref:** And _I_ am the boss of _you_ , and you are dating my brother’s best friend. I actually have very few problems have this match. That Gray could be of some use.

 **Mard Geer:** I will not allow you to use my lover as a tool to spy on Natsu Dragneel for you. You designed me to kill you, do not force me to the point where we find out if that works or not.

 **Zeref:** …Fine.

 **Natsu:** You’re an idiot Gray; you have no right to call _me_ that after this.

 **Gray:** I can’t help it if this is one of the author’s favourite pairings!

 **Natsu:** …My rival would have fought against this.

 **Wendy:** Everyone needs to calm down! There isn’t a real problem with this pairing. If Mard Geer attacks Gray, then he’ll be beaten by his Devil Slayer Power!

 **Wendy:** And who knows, maybe death has given Geer a new look on life, he could have changed?

 **Gray:** Thank you Wendy, you’re the best!

 **Ultear:** …I suppose I’m just a little over protective of him.

 **Lyon:** …But I wanted him…

 **Ultear:** _Lyon_ …

 **Lyon:** …Fine.

 **Natsu:** …I guess I can trust Gray to take that jerk out if it needs to be done.

 **Erza:** Same.

 **Lucy:** Gray has always had my back, this time, I’ll have his.

 **Gray:** The. Freaking. Best!

 **Juvia:** Juvia is still upset…

 **Lucy:** I’m going swimming Juvia, would you like to come with me?

 **Juvia:** …Yes please.


	50. Chapter 50

**Laxus and Lucy are dating! Thoughts?**

(As requested by Violetfairy12)

 

 **Natsu:** Laxus you jerk! I’ll fight you!

 **Cana:** Laxus did he say he’d have Lucy as his woman…

 **Mirajane:** And this means that Lucy finally got a boyfriend!

[Cana and Mirajane high five!]

 **Freed:** …Lucy is a wonderful girl. If Laxus is happy, then I’m happy.

 **Bickslow:** I didn’t expect you to be so calm.

 **Freed:** I’m crying on the inside.

 **Evergreen:** Laxus is certainly making a good choice with this girl.

 **Elfman:** People are even more jealous of him now, he’s pretty lucky.

 **Bickslow:** And keeps getting lucky too.

 **Evergreen:** We do not need any of your perverted-ness here.

 **Lisanna:** I know that she’s very pretty, it’s no wonder that he wants her.

 **Lucy:** Hey! Our relationship is more than that.

 **Laxus:** …Sure.

 **Lisanna:** …If he treats you badly, I’ll go animal soul on him.

 **Lucy:** I’ll be allowed to help right?

 **Lisanna:** Of course! It may make my crushing defeat a little less humiliating.

 **Gray:** I’m not so sure if this about more than just good looks, but I hope they work out. Maybe Lucy can keep Laxus from being such a jerk all the time?

 **Lucy:** Perhaps in a decade or so…

 **Gray:** I’m allowed to have hope.

 **Natsu:** …Well I can’t let the ice princess be the bigger man.

 **Natsu:** Laxus I… accept your relationship with Lucy, for now. But know that if you hurt her, I’ll beat you black and blue and sweep her off her feet.

 **Laxus:** Duly noted, it’s a good thing I’m not gonna hurt her then.

 **Natsu:** …I suppose that’s good too.


	51. Chapter 51

**FT Males react to the yaoi fan art they star in.**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Natsu:** Oh crap! MY EYES!!

 **Laxus:** Why do they pair me with Natsu? And Bickslow? And Freed? I’m pretty sure he likes Mira anyway.

 **Freed:** …My life is an eternal whirlpool of suck.

 **Laxus:** …No comment.

 **Gray:** Just… why with Natsu? And Lyon and/or Loke?!

 **Natsu:** I’m not pleased about it either, idiot.

 **Gajeel:** Try to be a little more convincing than that Salamander.

 **Natsu:** Hey look Gajeel! This one is a great picture of you and Laxus doing it!

 **Gajeel:** My, eyes… [iron panels slide down to shield his sight]

 **Jellal:** B-but why would they-?

 **Cobra:** Dragneel’s the main character; I think it’s a rule that everyone’s shipped with him.

 **Gray, Gajeel, Elfman & Laxus:** …Dammit!

 **Sting:** Does that apply to me? Seeing as Natsu is the guy I’m trying to be like and all.

 **Romeo:** It had better not!

 **Sting:** But I _am_ shipped with Natsu, and Rufus, and Rogue.

 **Rogue:** You don’t have to be shipped with everybody Sting.

 **Sting:** That’s a good point; being shipped with you is enough for me.

 **Rogue:** I am weirdly okay with that.

 **Rufus:** Who is this green haired man who looks like me and what exactly am I doing with him?

 **Freed:** I believe we are making out while holding hands to combine your memory-make and my runes.

 **Rufus:** …

 **Makarov:** Well while I’d prefer a hot young lady, I’m pretty excited about this. Where’s my yaoi?

[cricket noises]

 **Makarov:** Oh come on!

 **Bob:** There’s one here of me kissing your forehead, we’re pretty adorable aren’t we?

 **Yajima:** There’s a few of us doing… things. Honestly you think they’d keep us out of it with us being so old and all…

 **Goldmine:** But Yajima, you aren’t being paired with Bob.

 **Bob:** And just what’s wrong with being paired with me?

 **Goldmine:** So many things.

 **Bob:** Oh I get it! You simple understand that my heart and body belongs to that delicious young man from Maky’s guild!

 **Goldmine:** Sure, we’ll go with that.

 **Bob:** Oh, if only I could find that gorgeous youth, I slept in bed with him once!

 **Gray:** Th-that was filler!

 **Bob:** There you are my handsome prince!

 **Gray:** I don’t need another Juvia!

 **Natsu:** Ha ha! Need a hand there Gray?

 **Natsu:** Though you seem to be enjoying the attention!

 **Gray:** Now look Natsu, is that a picture of Gildarts and Gramps doing it?

 **Natsu:** …Well played.


	52. Chapter 52

**FT Females react to the yuri fan art they star in.**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Juvia:** How could these people pair Juvia with somebody other than Gray-sama?!

 **Lucy:** I think they just really want the pairs from the Love Love Slide to become canon.

 **Juvia:** But… Gray-sama!

 **Erza:** That’s not really true Lucy, there are plenty of works here of me and Mirajane. Apparently we’re shippy, who knew?

 **Lucy:** Absolutely everybody in the guild.

 **Evergreen:** Why am I shipped with Erza? I hate her; I don’t want to be doing any of that stuff with her!

 **Lucy:** Wait a second, is Flare-? Oh my God, she’s using her hair to-! I need a lie down.

 **Lisanna:** I think it’s cute that they pair me with Lucy! And I don’t mind being paired with Juvia if that’s how they see it, she’s a great friend!

 **Lisanna:** But I’m just a little uncomfortable being shipped with my sister, that’s just a little too far people.

 **Juvia:** It is pretty weird.

 **Lisanna:** If _you_ think that, then that is such a relief!

 **Juvia:** Why?

 **Lisanna:** …Oh you know, just reasons.

 **Lucy:** Does the main character _have_ to be paired with absolutely everyone? Because I can see art of me and Flare, Erza, Juvia… does the gender-bent Gray count?

 **Juvia:** The one of Gray-sama should be with Juvia!

 **Mirajane:** I’ve absolutely no idea why they think I can top Erza! I’m almost positive little old me couldn’t dominate the Titania.

 **Lisanna:** …Yeah, no-one believes that.

 **Mirajane:** Drat.

 **Kyoka:** Fans perceived that torture session as shippy? Interesting…

 **Erza:** Stop showing interest.

 **Sayla:** Please do Kyoka-sama; I thought we had something special.

 **Kyoka:** Of course we do Sayla! I can also show you just how special right now. [drags Sayla off}

 **Erza:** Well that got weird quickly.


	53. Chapter 53

**Laki is a dragon slayer! How do you react?**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Wendy:** Is this kind of like me having an older sister now?

 **Carla:** I’m not entirely sure, but we’re all family at Fairy Tail so wasn’t she already?

 **Wendy:** That’s a good point.

 **Natsu:** I get to fight her first!

 **Laki:** My hobby is making torture devices, bring it on.

 **Natsu:** …You’re creepy.

 **Laki:** Mmhm.

 **Gajeel:** What type of magic does she have anyway?

 **Laxus:** I’m assuming wood seeing as she’s got her wood-make.

 **Natsu:** She has two styles of magic, that’s not fair!

 **Gray:** It’s not that much of a big deal; I’ve got my ice-make and Devil Slayer power. And I think it’s something similar for Laxus, not all of his spells are dragon slayer moves.

 **Natsu:** It’s not like it makes a difference really. You and Laxus, apparently, have two styles and I beat you easily enough.

 **Laxus:** You needed Gajeel to even have of beating me, and even then it was declared as a draw. If you want your head to stay where it is, take that back.

 **Gray:** He doesn’t really need to, it’s not like he can beat me either.

 **Natsu:** Are you sure about that ice block?

 **Gray:** Yeah.

 **Erza:** Do _not_ start a fight.

 **Laxus:** Go ahead and go at it; you two will end up fighting anyway.

 **Gray:** …

 **Natsu:** …Who are we more afraid of right now? Erza or Laxus?

 **Gray:** Should we just run for it?

 **Natsu:** Sounds good.

 **Sting:** So there’s another dragon slayer? Who was her parent?

 **Rogue:** I’m not sure; it would have to be a wood dragon wouldn’t it?

 **Sting:** Could she have been raised by a tree?

 **Rogue:** A… tree?

 **Sting:** Well a magic one obviously!

 **Rogue:** I don’t think she was raised by a tree Sting.

 **Sting:** But-

 **Rogue:** No.

 **Kinana:** I like Laki! And I always knew she was special! Guess I was right.

 **Laki:** Aww, thank you Kinana!

 **Lucy:** Well her room was pretty scary, and her, I guess know more people will know when she fights. If only people could understand the things she says…

 **Laki:** Oh come on, it’s not my fault everyone doesn’t understand what I’m saying!

 **Lucy:** You could speak a bit more clearly in terms of us being able to know what you’re talking about.

 **Laki:** It makes perfect sense to me!

 **Lucy:** ‘Turtle-ish?’

 **Laki:** Slow.

 **Lucy:** …Why do I even bother?


	54. Chapter 54

**Gray and Juvia are dating, thoughts?**

(As requested by theotakusideoftheforce)

 

 **Lyon:** Noooooo!

 **Ultear:** You could be a little more supportive Lyon.

 **Lyon:** But they were supposed to be with me!

 **Ultear:** …Alright, which one of them is ‘they’?

 **Lyon:** Isn’t it obvious?

 **Ultear:** Would I have asked if it was?

 **Lyon:** I take your point.

 **Meredy:** This is so adorable! I knew they were meant to be together! In our fight, Juvia was so devoted to Gray, it’s like destiny!

 **Natsu:** Gray always seemed kind of creeped out by her though, and not in a ‘oh crap, my crush is right here’ way…

 **Lucy:** I suppose he must have been faking- Wait you picked up on that too?

 **Natsu:** It wasn’t exactly a secret how he felt about the whole stalking thing.

 **Lucy:** Point taken.

 **Erza:** This is wonderful! I knew you could get him Juvia!

 **Juvia:** Thank you so much for believing in Juvia, Erza!

 **Erza:** Well, I can’t let Mirajane have all the matchmaking fun.

 **Gajeel:** Good for you Juvia. You are now living proof that a puddle of water can get what it wants.

 **Levy:** You don’t have to be so mean Gajeel!

 **Juvia:** Don’t worry Levy; this was always how he spoke to people at Phantom Lord. Insults are how he shows affection.

 **Natsu:** …

 **Gajeel:** Not for you!

 **Levy:** I guess that means the same for me too.

 **Gajeel:** …Yeah, totally not for you either.

 **Mirajane:** Well that’s one OTP I can cross out of my book.

 **Lucy:** What book?

 **Mirajane:** My book listing all of my favourite pairings of course!

 **Lucy:** And-

 **Mirajane:** Don’t worry; you and Natsu are up next.

 **Lucy:** Drat.

 **Natsu:** I guess I’m happy for you Gray, but you’ll still fight me right? Nothing’s changed?

 **Gray:** Of course I’ll still fight you; somebody’s gotta keep you from being such an idiot all the time. Anybody else would destroy the guild.

 **Erza:** Are you implying that you two _don’t_ destroy the guild?

 **Gray:** Not exactly, but I don’t destroy it as much as, say Gajeel or Laxus would.

 **Erza:** Good point.


	55. Chapter 55

**Erza and Jellal are dating! How do you react?**

(As requested by ayanz15)

 

 **Lucy:** Well this was obvious.

 **Natsu:** Ditto.

 **Lucy:** Even you knew Natsu?

 **Natsu:** It was pretty inevitable to everybody, only Jellal couldn’t see these guys are freaking soulmates.

 **Jellal:** She knocked some sense into me, and now we couldn’t be happier.

 **Mirajane:** So adorable… my feels… best day ever!

 **Gray:** If he hurts Erza again nobody’s gonna be kind to him… well his memory. If Erza doesn’t do it, we’ll all kill him.

 **Natsu:** Wow, you said something I actually agree with.

 **Gray:** Don’t get used to it.

 **Ultear:** This is great! Jellal stopped being such an idiot and Erza can admit that she knew about the fake fiancée!

 **Jellal:** …Erza knew?

 **Ultear:** Everybody did, you are a terrible liar. Also everyone knows that there will never be anyone for you but Erza.

 **Jellal:** That’s kind of sweet… I can’t decide if being a terrible liar is a good or bad thing though…

 **Erza:** Let’s say it’s a good thing. You are still trying to repent and all.

 **Jellal:** Yes I suppose you’re right.

 **Meredy:** Jellal and Erza sitting in a tree~ K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

 **Mirajane:** Aww they’re both blushing, how adorable!

 **Erza:** I-I’m not adorable!

 **Mirajane:** Your boyfriend seems to disagree.

 **Jellal:** Erza is not cute or adorable; she is a stunningly beautiful goddess.

 **Mirajane:** …Well I suppose I can’t argue with that.

 **Laxus:** Jellal managed to get Scarlet as his girlfriend? Respect.

 **Mirajane:** Such a cute bromance!

 **Laxus:** …Nothing about me is cute. Or you, you’re totally not adorable at all with the way you fangirl over everything.

 **Mirajane:** I’m not cute…?

 **Laxus:** …Nope.

 **Juvia:** This is a very happy day! Gray-sama, let’s celebrate by going on a date, right now!

 **Erza:** Double date?

 **Juvia:** Of course!

 **Gray:** …

 **Jellal:** …

 **Gray:** Should we be scared?

 **Jellal:** Oh we should be so very, very afraid.


	56. Chapter 56

**Natsu and Erza are dating, how do you react?**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Gray:** I guess we all saw this coming.

 **Lucy:** Yeah… And we’re totally not having our hearts broken over anything about this.

 **Jellal:** Of course not, we are completely accepting of the situation.

 **Gray:** Guys this is _supposed_ to be a happy list!

 **Lucy & Jellal:** …Sorry.

 **Juvia:** It is definitely a predictable pairing; there has always been so much tension between them. Natsu always wants to fight Erza and they have always been there for each other.

 **Mirajane:** The same could be said for all of us in the guild; we all have each other’s backs and would never abandon one another.

 **Gray:** Maybe it was at the Tower of Heaven? Erza could have been feeling so bad that her feelings for Jellal were moved onto Natsu and stayed that way?

 **Mirajane:** That’s kinda a weird theory… I love it!

 **Elfman:** That’s a pretty manly ship! Erza is definitely the manliest in the guild and Natsu is always the one to really save the guild.

 **Mirajane:** People need to stop it; this is rapidly becoming my OTP.

 **Laxus:** …Aren’t I the manliest in the guild?

 **Elfman:** …Sure?

 **Laxus:** …Well at least Erza can stop Natsu from challenging me all the time. Natsu can direct all of his, uh, ‘Fired Up’ness at something else…

 **Mirajane:** [incoherent noises]

 **Gajeel:** So the Titania can tame that Salamander? Pretty clear how they get up to.

 **Gajeel:** Still pretty bummed that that idiot got a girl before I did though…

 **Pantherlily:** Well if you had simply stopped backing away from any and all opportunities…

 **Gajeel:** …Shut up.

 **Makarov:** …

 **Laxus:** What’s up Gramps?

 **Makarov:** I am trying to decide whether or not this will improve the guild or completely destroy it…

 **Laxus:** It could go either way really…

 **Makarov:** …Where’s Cana? I need a drink. A lot of drink.

 **Laxus:** Oh I am so there.


	57. Chapter 57

**Lucy’s told the guild that Natsu and she are getting married!**

(As requested by himeheartfilia)

 

 **Mirajane:** YES!!!

 **Happy:** I CALLED THIS! I SO CALLED THIS!

[Happy and Mirajane high five!]

 **Cana:** Did they even date? Isn’t marriage a little too soon?

 **Gray:** Cana, take a look at their relationship through the whole series and tell me they haven’t been practically married already.

 **Cana:** …Nope, I can’t do it.

 **Gray:** See?

 **Gajeel:** Whatever, I don’t care.

 **Levy:** This is so adorable! Lucy and I can plan the wedding together and pick out the dress… Ooh do you think I’d get to be a bridesmaid?!

 **Lucy:** Of course!

 **Levy:** Yay!

 **Gajeel:** …I may care a little.

 **Pantherlily:** What was that Gajeel?

 **Gajeel:** Nothing.

 **Erza:** I get to be a bridesmaid too right?

 **Lucy:** Are the bridesmaids allowed to be prettier than the bride?

 **Mirajane:** Why don’t you be the maid of honour Erza and I can be a bridesmaid!

 **Virgo:** Princess, I have brought several dresses for the event from the Celestial World, which would you prefer.

 **Mirajane:** They’re all so beautiful!

 **Lucy:** …It’s not actually happening for a while, so we have time to figure it out.

 **Wendy:** I’d like to be one, but I think it would be really embarrassing…

 **Loke:** I’m sure there’ll be plenty of time to decide whether or not you want to participate Wendy.

 **Wendy:** I guess you’re right…

 **Wendy:** Wait a second, who do you think proposed to whom?

 **Loke:** I can’t really see Natsu down on one knee; also he’s too oblivious really… It would be a pretty safe bet to say Lucy.

 **Wendy:** That _is_ more likely.

 **Natsu:** Gramps, you can stop crying, this is a happy thing.

 **Makarov:** I know, that’s why I’m crying! Besides, everyone cries at weddings!

 **Natsu:** It isn’t really the wedding yet Gramps…

 **Makarov:** Just the thought is enough.

 **Natsu:** Not sure I want any of the losers at the guild to be my best man though…

 **The guild men:** Well we ‘losers’ don’t want to be your best man anyway! Totally not.

 **Natsu:** Maybe I can ask Sting to do it…?

 **Gray:** How do you even know about best men and bridesmaids anyway?

 **Natsu:** As soon as we became engaged, Lucy drilled me on how these things happen and gave me plenty of time to remember what I’d have to do. I’m still trying to get my head around most of it though…

 **Juvia:** Juvia is so happy for everybody! Though she doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid…

 **Lucy:** Why not?

 **Juvia:** Because Juvia will be too busy planning her and Gray-sama’s wedding!

 **Gray:** …

 **Natsu:** …Gray, be my best man?

 **Gray:** Always.


	58. Chapter 58

**Fans ship you with Gray!**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Juvia:** YES PLEASE!

 **Gray:** I guess I should’ve seen that one coming…

 **Juvia:** Gray-sama and Juvia will have 33 babies and live in a house in the countryside and will never be happier! Our life will be perfect!

 **Gray:** …That seems very intricately planned out…

 **Gray:** And she’s ranting… And daydreaming… Somebody else please speak up?

 **Natsu:** I don’t see why they would. I mean, it’s not like we have any shippy moments and I don’t like him at all… I see no reason for us to be shipped whatsoever!

 **Gray:** Ditto.

 **Lucy:** Me and Gray? Seriously people, we’re just friends!

 **Mirajane:** You’re blushing Lucy.

 **Lucy:** M-Mira! Hush!

 **Mirajane:** But you’d be so cute together!

 **Mirajane:** And I think I’d rather Lucy was shipped with him, but thank you anyway fans!

 **Laxus:** We’d be hot, I get it. I don’t think all of it would be sex though… seriously; a guy’s drive goes only so far.

 **Freed:** Perhaps against that Angel woman our magic didn’t combine so well, but I appreciate that the fans know we tried. Shipping is a little much though…

 **Bickslow:** You say that only because you’re Laxus-sexual.

 **Freed:** A-am not! And only people actually shipped with Gray get to appear here!

 **Bickslow:** There was one fanfic I think, so I get to speak. Ha ha!

 **Bickslow:** And I dig it, I did make that comment about his clothes, even though at that point, people kind of ignored his habit.

 **Elfman:** It’d be pretty manly I admit, but I think my manliness would overwhelm him.

 **Mirajane:** …That’s your only reason for denying being shipped with him?

 **Elfman:** Look, Gray gets on pretty well with everyone; it’s a little hard to not be shipped with him.

 **Hibiki:** I know what you mean, though I protest myself, apparently people think he could turn me gay for him.

 **Elfman;** Well it wouldn’t matter if you think he’s hot; we all think Gray’s hot.

 **Daphne:** He _did_ ruin my Dragonoid… but he’s just so amazing, isn’t he? I’m conflicted…

 **Jellal:** You’re filler and also in jail, say you don’t want him; it makes things less painful…

 **Daphne:** …

 **Jellal:** Also, I have a fiancée, and even if I didn’t – even though I totally do! – I’m pretty sure I’m too deep in love with Erza to consider anyone else.

 **Erza:** Gray is a great comrade and he has been a shoulder to cry on for more times than I can remember, but he’s always really been that little brother I liked to pick on, but then we both matured and he still felt like my little brother…

 **Ultear:** Same, it’d feel a little weird… I did try to kill him, and then he was little my brother figure… and now I’m a really old lady, so I guess he’s more like my grandson?

 **Loke:** I changed my haircut from my lion-ish ‘Leo’ hair to my regular ‘Loke’ hair; we have been best friends for years, if that doesn’t indicate how much I love him, what does?

 **Lyon:** Maybe having a history with him and as soon as we re-meet after years starting up an epic rivalry? And after that listening to his advice when he says to join a guild? And having complete faith in him and jumping off a cliff against a fight against Racer? Inspiring one another to get stronger and having a deep bond even though I’m not in the same family as him? …Just throwing some ideas out there.

 **Loke:** …Well that took me out of the spotlight pretty quickly, he’s all yours.

 **Rufus:** I imagine it would be a little weird, though he did save me from those dragons and offer to let me remember his spell during the battle.

 **Lyon:** Why are you here?

 **Rufus:** I’m sorry, are fights in this series _not_ code for sexual tension?

 **Natsu:** …

 **Natsu:** …Am I a slut?


	59. Chapter 59

**Juvia and Natsu are dating! How do you react?**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Lucy:** …I’m so… glad, for the both of you.

 **Gray:** [opens arms] [tackled by Lucy hugs]

 **Gray:** Let it out.

 **Lucy:** Why not me?!?!

 **Gray:** I have two tickets to a concert, and no one to go with. Join me?

 **Lucy:** …I love the people in this guild.

 **Gajeel:** I get that fire and water symmetry is meant to be poetic and all, but dammit Juvia, did you have to choose the Salamander to go out with?!

 **Juvia:** You cannot stop the power of love Gajeel. If the rain ever comes, he will be so hot that it evaporates. Juvia is happy.

 **Gajeel:** …But it’s Dragneel.

 **Natsu:** It’s your problem Gajeel, we are incredibly happy as a couple and it doesn’t matter to us if you don’t approve.

 **Juvia:** …It may matter to Juvia a little.

 **Natsu:** …Hey Gajeel, wanna go watch that wrestling match this Sunday, I know you like fighting, should be fun.

 **Gajeel:** Ok I don’t mind this couple; just never pretend that we’re on good terms ever again.

 **Natsu:** We have such a deal!

 **Juvia:** …

 **Erza:** I was certain that Juvia was head over heels for Gray though…

 **Mirajane:** I was thinking that too… This is cute don’t get me wrong but when did Juvia stop being Gray obsessed?

 **Natsu:** Was it implied that she stopped?

 **Mirajane:** She’s dating you!

 **Natsu:** And you believe that makes a difference? Tch and you call yourself a matchmaker…

 **Mirajane:** …

 **Erza:** …There are some very disturbing thoughts in my head right now.

 **Mirajane:** She must have taken him back to her room.

 **Gray:** What’s so special about her room?

 **Mirajane & Erza:** …nothing?

 **Gray:** …I am concerned.


	60. Chapter 60

**FT Characters react to the Nalu, Gruvia, Jerza, Gajevy and Miraxus ships.**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Freed:** Noooooo!

 **Ichiya:** They pair somebody else with my honey? Unacceptable!

 **Freed:** But why?! Am I not good enough for Laxus!?

 **Laxus:** I’m not the most pleased about this either, it’s not as if I want to be paired with that demon barmaid.

 **Laxus:** I totally don’t like her or anything.

 **Mirajane:** Well I don’t like you either, so there!

 **Lyon:** Those two need a room; I can see why people ship it.

 **Lyon:** And this ‘Gruvia’ displeases me, Gray should not be paired with Juvia-chan.

 **Ultear:** Stop being biased just because you want her, face it, it’s a cute pairing.

 **Lyon:** Well I suppose she does seem to make Gray a little happier, or at least keep his mind off things… Dammit why did it have to be adorable?

 **Gray:** I’m a little surprised they think we have time to do stuff like that with all the fights we get into. We’re always involved in various types of wars, do we really have time to flirt and date?

 **Juvia:** We can do Gray-sama! And besides, Juvia saw Gajeel and Levy flirting…

 **Levy:** It- It wasn’t flirting!

 **Gajeel:** Yeah, I don’t care about that shorty at all!

 **Pantherlily:** That’s too bad Gajeel, this ‘Gajevy’ just became my ‘OTP’ and I am officially its number one shipper.

 **Gajeel:** …Dammit!

 **Mirajane:** And of course I have to thank the fans for Nalu, at least some people realize that they’re an adorable couple!

 **Erza:** I don’t see why they can’t make our ship a little happier, most of the time it’s ‘angst,’ don’t you agree Jellal?

 **Jellal:** I don’t see why they pay attention to it at all; there totally isn’t anything between us.

 **Kagura:** I disagree, I hated Jellal, and for a brief time, Erza. And I now firmly believe that Erza is the key to Jellal’s repentance.

 **Millianna:** Me too! Er-chan will keep Jellal grounded and keep his head on straight!

 **Erza** Aww you two, come give Nee-san a hug!

 **Kagura:** I-I was joking about that. YOU AREN’T MY SISTER!

 **Millianna:** Fine, but you’re really missing out Kagura; Erza’s hugs are the best!

 **Kagura:** …Maybe just this once.

 **Natsu:** So…

 **Lucy:** Yeah…

 **Natsu:** … [looks at Lucy awkwardly]

 **Lucy:** … [looks at Natsu awkwardly]

 **Natsu:** Good talk.

 **Lucy:** Yeah.

 **Lisanna:** I’m sure they have a reason for this ‘Nalu’ I mean, Natsu and Lucy do seem to fit, even I’m starting to ship it at this point.

 **Bickslow:** The Miraxus ship is pretty awesome! The stuff they could get up to with their magic! Kinky.

 **Laxus:** …

 **Mirajane:** …

 **Laxus:** Do you want to hit min first or can I?

 **Mirajane:** I’ll go first please.

 **Bickslow:** See?! Laxus is being more of a gentleman and Mira’s demon side is coming out! It’s destiny!

 **Makarov:** Mira getting more into _her_ magic is not a good thing, we should run.

 **Bickslow:** Huh?

 **Mirajane:** He’s right you know.

 **Laxus:** Run.

 **Mirajane:** Run to Edolas, I guarantee that would be the only place you have a chance at being safe.

 **Bickslow:** …So I’m just gonna now.


	61. Chapter 61

**FT Characters! Laxus and Cana are dating! Reactions?**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Mirajane:** I feel as if I’m missing something here and I don’t know what…

 **Freed:** So many things… But I have to say that I am glad for you Laxus. I’m sure Cana can keep you… entertained.

 **Laxus:** Oh she does.

 **Freed:** …Right well I’m off. And I’m not going to go and sob into my pillow or anything like that.

 **Bickslow:** That girl held her own against Freed for a while, I can understand why he’d be into her.

 **Bacchus:** Me too, Cana’s awesome! I see a lot of alcohol and make-outs in their future.

 **Cana:** We may have already fast forwarded into that future.

 **Bacchus:** Kudos!

 **Gildarts:** …To crush his skull, or to not crush his skull in, that is the question.

 **Makarov:** Please don’t kill my grandson?

 **Gildarts:** But he’s putting his hands all over my sweet little girl!

 **Makarov:** Over protectiveness is not a good enough reason for murder.

 **Mirajane:** It’s not?!

 **Makarov:** Do I even want to know?

 **Mirajane:** No, not at all.

 **Erza:** I personally didn’t see this coming but I imagine this can be a fine couple if they stop being lazy about it.

 **Erza:** Oh… They’re napping… And curled up right against each other… Wait, how does she keep a hold on her beer?

 **Mirajane:** It must be second nature after all these years.

 **Gildarts:** …Ugh, I have to admit that’s pretty sweet, maybe he doesn’t need his skull crushed in…

 **Erza:** Maybe the lazy way is the good way for these two?

 **Mirajane:** …Are they sleep groping each other?

 **Gildarts:** THAT’S IT, HE DIES!!

 **Makarov:** …Oh boy.

 **Ivan:** Laxus I am displeased, you have been given all this power and settle for a weakling such as that wench? Pah!

 **Laxus:** …Don’t insult my girlfriend old man.

 **Ivan:** Oh, are you going to strike your dear father?

 **Laxus:** A: never use the word ‘dear’ again. B: My girlfriend is about to prove how awesome she is so I don’t have to defend her.

[Cana on Ivan violence!]

 **Laxus:** Heh. Weakling…


	62. Chapter 62

**Everyone catches Freed and Rogue on date!**

(As requested by eryis-creydull)

 

 **Sting:** What the hell Rogue?! I thought we had something special!

 **Rufus:** That man looks quite like me… suspicious.

 **Laxus:** Good for them, though Freed could probably do better than some stoic guy like that.

 **Erza:** Adorable, where’s my camera?

 **Mirajane:** Huh, I never would have seen this one coming.

 **Bickslow:** Wait, so Freed isn’t completely obsessed with Laxus?!

 **Evergreen:** That Sabertooth wizard’s pretty cute; I can see why Freed would want him.

 **Yukino:** Rogue-sama seems a little happier than usual; I suppose that’s very good.

 **Minerva:** Yes, give it a year and we may get to see him smile a lot more!

 **Jason:** SO COOOOOOOL! This could be the scoop of the year! I wonder if they’ll give me an interview…?

 **Lucy:** I… will not faint… I will not faint… Oh crap where’d I put my tissues?

 **Happy:** They liiiiike each other!

 **Natsu:** What is that they’re doing?

 **Gray:** Huh, this is new to me… Wait; if Freed managed to break away from his Laxus obsession then [looks at Juvia] do I dare to hope?

 **Juvia:** Boys love!

 **Lyon:** …Those are boys?

 **Lyon:** …I will not replace this memory with Gray and me, not one bit.

 **Jiemma:** Guilds are not a place for romance! And conspiring with a weak guild like that? I have never been ashamed of Sabertooth members.

 **Orga:** Hey Rogue, hey Rufus, did you dye your hair?

 **Rogue:** …

 **Freed:** …

 **Rogue:** Well I got the reaction I wanted from Sting.

 **Freed:** I’m not quite there yet with Laxus though…

 **Rogue:** He’ll get jealous over something one of these days.

 **Freed:** Yeah I guess, thanks for your help.

 **Rogue:** Same time next week?

 **Freed:** …Thanks.


	63. Chapter 63

**Everyone, Lucy and Flare are dating! Thoughts?**

(As requested by thewallflower060)

 

 **Lisanna:** Flare did seem weirdly attached to Lucy… saving her during the dragon invasion and stalking her a little…

 **Lucy:** The stalking thing was a lie, my girlfriend and I have a perfectly healthy relationship!

 **Flare:** Blondie! The [this content has been barred for explicitness]!

 **Lisanna:** ‘Perfectly healthy?’

 **Lucy:** …We may be a little work in progress.

 **Natsu:** As long as Flare doesn’t try anything creepy or bad like she did at the Grand Magic Games I’m cool with this.

 **Gray:** Really? Because I thought things just got really, _really_ hot.

 **Natsu:** Why? Do you have a fever?

 **Gray:** Take a look at them Natsu.

 **Natsu:** So they’re kissing, what’s the big deal?

 **Gray:** [facepalms]

 **Mirajane:** Flare did come all the way to Ryusetsu Land just to apologize to Lucy, surely this was meant to be!

 **Erza:** It is quite a nice pairing; Lucy did everything in the sun village to help Flare return her family to normal.

 **Mirajane:** Also imagine how cool it must be for Lucy to run her fingers through Flare’s hair! That would be fun!

 **Erza:** Unless it sets on fire.

 **Mirajane:** Wasn’t that implied?

 **Erza:** …

 **Makarov:** I have no complaints here at all. She left Ivan’s guild and I bear no ill will against her, purely because I can blame everything on that blasted son of mine.

 **Makarov:** Also if she has been sent as a spy from Ivan, I trust you to take care of her Lucy. But if that is not the case, welcome to the family Flare!

 **Flare:** First the giants of my village accept me back, and now I have a new family…?

 **Flare:** This is the best day ever blondie!

 **Laxus:** Some chick formerly in my old man’s guild? Eh whatever, as long as she doesn’t cause any trouble it’s cool with me.

 **Freed:** She has some interesting magic too, I’d love to study it a little if she’d let me. I’d be gentle.

 **Flare:** The new man is a little scary blondie…

 **Lucy:** You don’t have to if you don’t want to, though I assure you, Freed is a great guy! But if you do this, if you’d like I could stay with you?

 **Mirajane:** …

 **Mirajane:** Alright this is freaking adorable, anybody who says otherwise I’m going Satan Soul on!

 **Ivan:** Two women?! And Flare’s dating a Fairy!? Disgusting!

[Mirajane on Ivan violence!]


	64. Chapter 64

**Lucy and Lisanna are dating! What are your reactions?**

(As requested by thewallflower060)

 

 **Mirajane:** Wow, I really read that situation wrong. Maybe I should stop trying to be a matchmaker…?

 **Lisanna:** No don’t give up big sister! You definitely called Elfman and Evergreen!

 **Evergreen:** Actually… I’m madly in love with Bickslow.

 **Elfman:** And Laxus is the only one for me.

 **Mirajane:** …

 **Natsu:** I feel like I should be upset about this, but I think it’s actually a really nice ship.

 **Gray:** It’s sweet isn’t it?

 **Natsu:** …Yeah.

 **Erza:** I’m very happy with it, this is adorable!

 **Wendy:** I think it’s amazing! Lucy and Lisanna seem great together!

 **Lucy:** Aww, thank you Wendy!

 **Levy:** This is great Lu-chan! I’m so happy for you! And you too Lisanna!

 **Lisanna:** Thanks for being a friend!

 **Mirajane:** Right, mini crisis over. I am very happy for the both of you and I hope you stay together for a long while.

 **Mirajane:** Be good to one another.

 **Lisanna:** Venting are we sis?

 **Mirajane:** I can’t handle another kind of crisis right now.

 **Erza:** I’m sure they’ll stick together; they’ve always seemed pretty close.

 **Elfman:** Quite honestly I always thought they’d have this underlying rivalry for Natsu’s love… I’m glad that they don’t though, that could’ve gotten ugly.

 **Erza:** Perhaps it was that, and it changed to sexual tension…?

 **Mirajane:** Please stop talking about that theory; I don’t want to hear about my little sister’s more um… intimate moments.

 **Laxus:** That is a pretty hot couple; it’s like a coalition of young girls doing really hot stuff.

 **Mirajane:** …Satan Soul.

[Mirajane on Laxus violence!]

 **Bickslow:** The cheerleader and the cutie got together? I have absolutely no complaints about this.

 **Freed:** Lisanna and Lucy are both lovely people, it is heart-warming they’ve found one another; I am very pleased with this pairing.

 **Bickslow:** And it’s got absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they’re no longer competition for Laxus, right?

 **Freed:** …Of course not, I have no idea why you brought that up, what were you even suggesting?

 **Laxus:** …Cool Freed. You totally played that cool.

 **Freed:** …


	65. Chapter 65

**Lucy broke her Aquarius Key to summon the Celestial Spirit King, thoughts?**

(As requested by roane21)

 

 **Erza:** …I can’t believe she’d do such a thing; Aquarius was her oldest friend and the first spirit she ever summoned! Why would she destroy her?

 **Mirajane:** To save all of us apparently. I see many hugs in the near future.

[cricket noises]

 **Gray:** Oh Lucy… that must have been so hard on you… Come here.

[Lucy and Gray hug]

 **Loke:** Aquarius is still crying over it, she genuinely misses you Lucy.

 **Virgo:** And we can get you permission to enter our world if you ever need to see her. After this, the King _will_ let us.

 **Lucy:** Thanks you guys.

 **Levy:** And Aquarius practically ordered Lucy to break her key… it’s so sad and sweet that Aquarius showed her true feelings for her… Where’s a box of tissues? I’m tearing up.

 **Jet & Droy: **Here you go Levy!

 **Makarov:** None of us would be here if not for the choice she made; we owe Lucy a great debt.

 **Laxus:** Definitely, I feel incredibly bad that I wasn’t out there fighting now; nobody should have to do something like that.

 **Makarov:** You were on your death bed Laxus; you’d done enough by facing Tempesta.

 **Laxus:** Fat load of good it did.

 **Makarov:** Shut up and let’s get back to Lucy.

 **Bickslow:** I feel kinda sorry for cheerleader girl, isn’t she meant to be really close to all of those spirits?

 **Evergreen:** Yes she is, so we’re going to drop the cheerleader nickname for a while, _aren’t we_ Bickslow?

 **Bickslow:** …Sure.

 **Max:** I’ve never really interacted with Lucy much and I can’t claim to completely understand how she’s feeling, but we all know what it’s like to lose someone close to you. Anybody who is going to be awful to her, expect a Sand Rebellion coming your way.

 **Natsu:** …

 **Erza:** Natsu?

 **Natsu:** She’d just lost her oldest friend and trusted comrade and I abandoned her with only a crummy letter?

 **Erza:** …

 **Natsu:** I’m just the worst friend ever at that point, aren’t I?

 **Erza:** Uh, well….


	66. Chapter 66

**Rowen is canon!**

(As requested by wendyskydragonslayer01 and marinthedragon)

 

 **Mirajane:** That is adorable, why didn’t I pick up on this before?

 **Erza:** I’m sure you would have, if you weren’t so distracted by Natsu and Lucy.

 **Macao:** …While I can agree that this is certainly cute, I’m not sure I’m completely comfortable with my 14 year old boy dating… it just seems a little soon is all.

 **Carla:** I agree. Wendy you are 13, there is plenty of time for you to grow up before you start dating.

 **Chelia:** But this is “LOVE!” Just let them be, they aren’t exactly getting into a hot and heavy relationship.

 **Gray:** They’re probably only at the stage of holding hands.

 **Wendy:** We aren’t even there really; it’s all new and embarrassing.

 **Chelia:** You’ll tell me whenever something happens right?

 **Wendy:** Of course!

 **Gray:** See, this is actually a fun couple, even if Romeo is trying to copy the flame brained idiot.

 **Natsu:** And just who are you calling an idiot?

 **Gray:** Can we not get into this?

 **Erza:** I have been surpassed by a 13 year old for relationship status…

 **Natsu:** To be fair, Wendy looks like she could be the daughter of you and Jellal.

 **Erza:** …

 **Erza:** That makes no sense and you know it.

 **Jura:** I rather expected young Wendy to end up with Chelia, but this Romeo seems like a good enough boy.

 **Wakaba:** Hey Macao! Your son’s having better luck with the ladies than you are!

 **Macao:** The same goes for you, you old timer!

 **Wakaba:** Excuse you I’m married!

 **Macao:** Not well…

 **Wakaba:** So anyway congratulations Romeo! I guess we all should’ve known from your name you’d have luck in love.

 **Romeo:** Wasn’t that play a tragedy in the end?

 **Wakaba:** …Ignore me I’m drunk?

 **Natsu:** I’m so proud of Romeo, he’s growing up!

 **Romeo:** Thanks Natsu-nii!

 **Natsu:** [whispers] I’d kinda like to see how you got her to go out with you. There’s… someone.

 **Romeo:** You don’t have to whisper, everyone knows you like Lucy.

 **Natsu:** W-why do you think it would be Lucy?!

 **Mirajane:** Natsu, everybody knows except maybe Lucy herself. Why do you think I’m trying to set her up with you all the time?

 **Natsu:** …Well crud.


	67. Chapter 67

**FT Characters hold an intervention for Mirajane.**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Lisanna:** Come sit down big sis, we’re here to talk to you.

 **Elfman:** Nothing bad here, nothing at all.

 **Mirajane:** …I am suspicious.

 **Erza:** Oh don’t be silly, it’s just an intervention.

 **Mirajane:** But what for?! I haven’t done anything bad!

 **Elfman:** It’s just about your habit of trying to couple everyone up…

 **Mirajane:** Silly, that’s no problem. It’s just a lot of fun and plus some people really belong together. We can all see it with Natsu and Lucy.

 **Gray:** Yeah that one is pretty obvious, but you do go a bit far in trying to pair them up.

 **Mirajane:** How so?

 **Gray:** You paid _Gajeel_ to sing a love song you wrote about them, everyone cleared out of the guild instantly from how hot Natsu’s punch was.

 **Erza:** And Lucy’s skirt was set on fire before she could get away.

 **Lucy:** Yeah, it was really embarrassing!

 **Mirajane:** But Natsu looked!

 **Lucy:** No, he didn’t, because he was too busy fighting Gajeel and setting the guild on fire.

 **Mirajane:** …Ok so maybe that one didn’t work out, but what about the one with Erza and Jellal when he came by?

 **Erza:** I ended up crushed under the left wall of the guildhall and Jellal had to run from the Council.

 **Mirajane:** Please stop making my plans look bad? The one with Elfman and Evergreen was fun!

 **Elfman:** I was turned to stone for three days.

 **Lisanna:** And I ended up being trapped with Bickslow for two.

 **Mirajane:** Oh come on that was a cute thing! You said you liked it!

 **Lisanna:** I liked talking to him, he’s funny.

 **Gray:** Do I even have to get started on the one with me and Lucy?

 **Mirajane:** …Okay. I take your point. So no more plans, and I won’t physically intervene.

 **Erza:** Mirajane…

 **Mirajane:** Surely I can still give out tips and advice?!

[Mirajane has started tearing up!]

 **Elfman:** Dammit! Real men are helpless against womanly tears!

 **Lisanna:** Please don’t cry Mira, of course we’d always appreciate your advice!

 **Gray:** Yeah… just stop with the waterworks.

 **Lucy:** You know I think I might ask Natsu out this weekend…?

 **Erza:** And I think perhaps Jellal is coming around here next month…?

 **Mirajane:** Oh how sweet of all of you.

 **Lucy:** She’s smirking, it’s scary. Should we run?

 **Erza:** I think yes, yes we should.


	68. Chapter 68

**FT Characters react to the Navia shippers.**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Juvia:** Why would people ship Juvia with anybody other than Gray-sama? And especially why with Gray-sama’s biggest rival?

 **Natsu:** I don’t get it either, I’m pretty sure if we held hands or anything you’d start evaporating, being made out of water and all.

 **Lucy:** Has Natsu even interacted that much with Juvia?

 **Gray:** I don’t think so; do you think this is just another one of their crack ships like Yuka and Toby?

 **Lucy:** That’s a ship?!

 **Gray:** Well why wouldn’t it be?

 **Erza:** I’ve always thought that those two were more of a, what’s the phrase, Brotp? Do all shippers take friendships and spin it off as a pairing?

 **Lucy:** …

 **Gray:** …

 **Erza:** Alright, I suppose they are _our_ fans.

 **Mirajane:** Well I’m with the Navia shippers, this would be adorable!

 **Lucy:** …

 **Lucy:** …By declaring affection for another ship, you realize you are cheating on the thought of me and Natsu as a pair?

 **Mirajane:** …Oh cruel world, why would you do this to me?

 **Gajeel:** What kind of crazy people ship Juvia with that idiot? She can do _way_ better!

 **Natsu:** It’s not as if I’m actually going out with her metal head, it’s not doing any harm, let them ship what they want to.

 **Juvia:** Juvia agrees with Natsu, Juvia would never be with anybody other than Gray-sama!

 **Levy:** All of these shippers must have a reason for it. We should just respect it; it doesn’t even harm us characters.

 **Gajeel:** But they’re still shipping her with _Natsu_.

 **Levy:** Just let it go.

 **Gray:** Well said Levy, but _‘shipping wars’_ those are a little weird…

 **Levy:** Maybe we should just leave it alone and live our lives?

 **Gray:** That would probably be wise.


	69. Chapter 69

**You’ve just found out Mirajane and Freed have been dating off screen!**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Laxus:** …Wait, so Freed isn’t in love with me?

 **Bickslow:** He probably is. But that doesn’t mean he can’t date other people. And remember this is off screen…

 **Evergreen:** So does it _really_ count?

 **Laxus:** Screen time or not they are dating, so yeah it counts!

 **Bickslow:** ...Hey Ever?

 **Bickslow:** Do you think Laxus is jealous?

 **Evergreen:** Yes, but I’m not sure who he’s jealous _of_.

 **Laxus:** …I’m not jealous.

 **Elfman:** Good for Mira, I saw that fight with Freed, there was definitely chemistry there.

 **Lisanna:** But I never thought Mira would hide one of her relationships, why would she date off screen?

 **Elfman:** Just because it’s off screen, does that mean we don’t know?

 **Lisanna:** I’m not sure, did you know about this?

 **Elfman:** …Can we talk about something else please? My head hurts.

 **Wakaba:** Lucky Freed, what I’d give to be in his place…

 **Macao:** You. Are. Married!

 **Wakaba:** Way to go and crush my dreams… some friend…

 **Macao:** …wut?

 **Max:** I can see it; Freed is a perfect gentleman and likely won’t invoke the wrath of demon Mirajane.

 **Warren:** [thinking] Freed that lucky bastard!

 **Max:** WOULD YOU STOP THAT?!

 **Warren:** ???

 **Wendy:** I think this is wonderful! Freed seems so attached and friendly with Mira all the time, I think everyone believed he had a crush on her but because they were secretly dating is really sweet!

 **Mirajane:** Must… resist… urge to snuggle adorable child…

 **Makarov:** We can all admit that we want to be Freed right now, right? Though of course we are perhaps a more perverted version…

 **Jenny:** Please tell me this didn’t start after I got together with Hibiki? I need to be able to beat her at something!

 **Hibiki:** If you don’t ask, then the answer can’t hurt you.

 **Jenny:** Oh come on! I have to have been able to get a boyfriend first!!

 **Mirajane:** Well, I’m not entirely sure why we hid our relationship in the first place, but I’m sure it was just some silly reason.

 **Freed:** It’s nice that everyone knows now.

[Mirajane and Freed fluff!]

 **Laxus:** …

 **Laxus:** I’ve absolutely no idea why anybody thinks I’m jealous.


	70. Chapter 70

**Natsu and Kyoka are dating!**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Lucy:** WHAT?!

 **Erza:** THE!

 **Gray:** FUCK!

 **Mard Geer:** I must agree with the Devil Slayer, this is quite a surprising pairing.

 **Gray:** He only mentioned me…?

 **Erza:** Natsu, this demon tortured me for information on Jellal, one of our allies, and you see fit to date her?!

 **Natsu:** After being horribly beaten at your hands, I can only assume that she has repented and would be on our side now.

 **Erza:** How did you get to thinking _that_?!

 **Natsu:** Well, doesn’t everyone who gets beaten by you regret their life and apologize deeply for anything they’ve done wrong?

 **Erza:** …

 **Natsu:** And no, before you ask, I don’t speak from personal experience.

 **Lucy:** Natsu… She’s still technically an enemy, and you can’t just forget everything she’s done in a heartbeat. I mean… wait, isn’t she also a little gay?

 **Sayla:** Kyoka-sama showed affection for me every so often, the possibility of bisexuality is always present though.

 **Lucy:** She could be using you for revenge? Natsu?

 **Natsu:** I am insulted that you think I couldn’t handle it.

 **Lucy:** S-sorry…

[Gray on Natsu violence!]

 **Natsu:** What the hell?!

 **Gray:** Alright, well it’s good to know that there is no sense to be knocked back into you. Seriously, Natsu, seriously?

 **Natsu:** What can I say?

 **Gray:** Well I don’t know, you tell me.

 **Natsu:** …

 **Mirajane:** No, I can make this work… is it because of your losses to Erza, surely that’s a bonding moment?

 **Gray:** …Well I hope not, neither of those options are particularly appealing…

 **Mirajane:** Um… Is it because of deep lingering feelings of resentment against Erza for something or other?

 **Kyoka:** You seem very set on having the reason for our relationship to have something to do with Erza.

 **Mirajane:** If I make her seem like a matchmaker we’ll be on an equal level again, and then we can return to being rivals.

 **Natsu:** That would be awesome!

 **Mirajane:** Thank Kyoka’s subordinate Lamy; she brought back those damn Demon Particles.

 **Natsu:** THANK YOU LAMY!!

 **Silver:** Wow, I wonder if Kyoka caught that Natsu boy while he was unconscious, he’s pretty cute if I do say so myself…

 **Gray:** …

 **Lucy:** Awkward…


	71. Chapter 71

**Natsu and Sayla are dating!**

(As requested by a guest and gideonaw)

 

 

 **Kyoka:** But Sayla, I thought we had something!

 **Sayla:** Yes, we did. But with Natsu I have something more.

 **Kyoka:** Like what?!

 **Sayla:** [censored whispers]

 **Kyoka:** Alright I suppose that _does_ make sense…

 **Erza:** Well at least it’s not the one I fought; this demon doesn’t seem _too_ bad.

 **Mirajane:** She took control of my brother and is the reason the guild blew up, kidnapped my sister after making Elfman strangle her, and really hurt me during our fight.

 **Erza:** She’s not _too_ bad for a _demon_.

 **Mirajane:** …Ah, I give up.

 **Gray:** Why exactly would Natsu date a demon, though I guess this one is kinda like Mirajane…?

 **Natsu:** Uh… n-no reason.

 **Mirajane:** …

 **Gray:** He’s an idiot, but I’m pretty sure he could do better than one of the Books of Zeref.

 **Sayla:** And just what is your problem with us?

 **Gray:** Oh I suppose not much… I’m sure that you trying to destroy all magic on the continent has nothing to do with it.

 **Sayla:** Humans, you never let the little things go.

 **Gray:** …

 **Lamy:** Sayla’s doing pretty well for herself. That guy is _hot_!

 **Natsu:** I try to be, fire wizard and all.

 **Lamy:** …And you’re _happy_ with him?

 **Sayla:** There are some troubles.

 **Erza:** Only some?

 **Sayla:** His destruction makes up for any stupidity.

 **Erza:** ???

 **Igneel:** I am displeased Natsu.

 **Natsu:** I-Igneel!?

 **Igneel:** More like very disappointed.

 **Mard Geer:** Cut them some slack, they’ll probably break up within the week.

 **Igneel:** But there was still reason for them to get together in the first place. That is what displeases me most.

 **Mard Geer:** Ah let it go, all humans will be dead someday soon anyway.

 **Igneel:** But Natsu will still be dating Sayla.

 **Mard Geer:** What?

 **Igneel:** What?


	72. Chapter 72

**FT Characters! Sting and Natsu are dating!**

(As requested by Daygon Yuuki)

 

 **Rogue:** I am very pleased for you Sting; you’ve finally caught up to the level of your idol.

 **Gray:** Though he’s pretty like Natsu, so is this just Natsu dating a blonder version of him?

 **Rogue:** Sting has his own personality, he is nothing like Natsu.

 **Sting:** Well-

 **Natsu:** Actually-

 **Rogue:** _Nothing_.

 **Gray:** Well anyway, seeing as this is how it is, well done Natsu. Good couple.

 **Erza:** Good? No, this is not good. This is hot.

 **Sting:** Uh…

 **Erza:** _Really_ hot.

 **Natsu:** …Well at least we have someone on our side.

 **Lucy:** And me too. N-no matter what Natsu I’ll always support you.

 **Zeref:** So if he was to go off and kill a load of people, or a certain someone?

 **Lucy:** …wut?

 **Zeref:** Just curious.

 **Mirajane:** I think this is hot, as Erza so eloquently stated, but it’s more adorable to me. Just think; cuddles!

 **Sting:** Not… really a huggy person.

 **Mirajane:** B-but… _Cuddles_!

 **Natsu:** Go with it if you want your spine to stay in place.

[Evil Mirajane smile!]

 **Lisanna:** G-good for Natsu, I’m glad he found the man of his dreams.

 **Natsu:** Hey thanks Lisanna!

 **Sting:** Well of course he dreams about me, otherwise all of my _hard_ work goes to nothing.

 **Lisanna:** …Maybe I should just go out with Lucy.

 **Rufus:** Well I don’t see anybody complaining about this in our guild… though I’m surprised that Rogue isn’t actually…

 **Orga:** Huh?

 **Rufus:** Please don’t tell me you are blind to how close they are.

 **Orga:** Does friendship have to instantly mean they’re in love with one another?

 **Rufus:** …So Sting we’re all very happy for you!

 **Yukino:** Yes! Natsu’s so good and brave; he’ll definitely be good for Sting!

 **Minerva:** …There is going to be so much paperwork isn’t there?

 **Rogue:** Oh yes.

 **Minerva:** If the world doesn’t burn to the ground I’ll honestly be surprised.

 **Rogue:** We’re about to have too many complaints for destruction.

 **Minerva:** My wrists already ache.


	73. Chapter 73

**Gray and Lucy are dating, how do you react?**

(As requested by a guest)

 

 **Lisanna:** Congratulations you two, you’re adorable!

 **Lisanna:** And in no way am I pleased because this might mean I have a shot at Natsu.

 **Lucy:** …I-I wasn’t interested in him in the first place! I could have helped you.

 **Lisanna:** I was more referring to his crush on you…

 **Lucy:** He didn’t have a crush on me!

 **Natsu:** …

 **Lucy:** He didn’t!

 **Mirajane:** Ah, my second favourite Lucy pairing, I’m so happy that Gray is with her!

 **Natsu:** …

 **Erza:** Gray is one of the best men I have ever known, Lucy is very lucky to have him.

 **Juvia:** …

[Rainstorm hits Magnolia!]

 **Juvia:** J-Juvia feels very depressed! And angry! And-

 **Gajeel:** Wet. You’re getting us all wet. I’m soaked, and I’m cold here.

 **Juvia:** Cold like Gray-sama!

 **Gajeel:** Would you stop with all the Gray worship? It’s weird.

 **Juvia:** J-Juvia can’t help it!

 **Happy:** I feel kinda sorry for Natsu; his luck with girls is really bad.

 **Natsu:** …

 **Macao:** I have to say, Gray’s a pretty lucky guy. Lucy’s super cute.

 **Wakaba:** And that body? Yowzer!

 **Macao:** Did you have to bring that up?

 **Wakaba:** Oh yeah, like you weren’t thinking it.

 **Macao:** …Who me?

 **Laxus:** The blonde one and Gray? Whatever.

 **Freed:** Lucy is a wonderful girl and Gray is certainly a good person, this is definitely a good couple.

 **Natsu:** …

 **Cana:** Lucy got a boyfriend? Eh, I’ll drink to that.

 **Lyon:** …She managed to defeat Sherry; I suppose that’s someone good enough for Gray.

 **Ultear:** Gray’s growing up, getting a girlfriend, moving on…

 **Ultear:** I think I’m tearing up!

 **Natsu:** …

 **Loke:** Both good people, they definitely have chemistry, but of course if Gray hearts Lucy he’ll be in for a beating.

 **Gray:** Hey! Not cool, we’ve been friends for years and you honestly think I’d hurt her?

 **Loke:** Look someone has to do the threatening and I can’t very well threaten _Lucy_ can I?

 **Gray:** Okay I take your point.

 **Natsu:** …

 **Mirajane:** What is it Natsu?

 **Erza:** You’ve been sitting there in horrified silence for quite a while.

 **Natsu:** …

 **Natsu:** Gray… Lucy…

 **Natsu:** I kinda hate your guts Gray but I guess you’re ok and Lucy, _you’re_ … fine I guess…

 **Gray:** …

 **Lucy:** …

 **Natsu:** But if anything goes wrong with this couple, I’m gonna swoop in and steal you away.

 **Gray:** …Ok.

 **Lucy:** …Do you know who he’s talking to?

 **Gray:** Not a clue.


	74. Chapter 74

**Hey guys, Zeref is Emperor Spriggan!**

(As requested by VelocityRaptor and a guest)

 

 **Lucy:** The leader of our newest enemy is the most powerful and dangerous wizard to ever live?

 **Erza:** Yep.

 **Lucy:** Well, we’re toast.

 **Erza:** Oh yeah.

 **Gray:** I suddenly really don’t want to go to Arbaless.

 **Lucy:** You’re pretty much scared to death too then?

 **Gray:** …Well I can’t even defend against that.

 **Juvia:** Juvia is very scared for Gray-sama and the rest of Team A!

 **Gray:** ‘Team A?’

 **Juvia:** …Nothing.

 **Elfman:** I-I’m not scared! ‘Cos I’m a real man!

 **Mirajane:** …Please don’t do anything rash Elfman.

 **Gajeel:** Tch. Doesn’t matter. I bet I could take him.

 **Pantherlily:** From what I’ve heard, this is the deadliest man ever; I’ll help you.

 **Zeref:** [watery eyes]

 **Pantherlily:** …See, I feel like that should be considered cute, but it’s actually really creepy.

 **Zeref:** [watery eyes]

 **Pantherlily:** …Please stop.

 **Mirajane:** Oh wow he’s so cute! I just wanna hug him!

 **Pantherlily:** …No comment.

 **Gajeel:** I don’t need any help to beat up that big cry-baby! I can win easily!

 **Zeref:** Oh you poor pathetic mortal.

 **Gajeel:** Is that a challenge!? Because I’ll turn you into a bloody pulp!

 **Levy:** [holding him back from his waist]

 **Gajeel:** Ah… shorty? Where’d you come from?!

 **Levy:** I… don’t know…

 **Laxus:** The hell is this Spriggan guy?

 **Laxus:** Well whatever. Zeref’s got to be taken down sooner or later right? Let’s get going.

 **Gajeel:** But we haven’t found you guys yet, just heard about you from that Ichiya guy…

 **Elfman:** [shaking] Please don’t ever mention him again.

 **Ichiya:** Meeeen!

 **Elfman:** [shudders] He’s just the creepier version of me…

 **Natsu:** Whatever he’s Emperor of, it doesn’t matter to me, either way he’s going down! And I’ll be sure to deal the final blow!

 **Zeref:** [smiles]

 **Natsu:** …Please drop the creepy face.


	75. Chapter 75

**FT Characters! You’ve just caught Max and his broom making out in the closet!**

(As requested by queenxchaos)

 

 **Warren:** That’s going a little too far, don’t you think?

 **Laki:** …I didn’t see anything. I didn’t see anything…

 **Kinana:** [blushes] [closes the door and runs away]

 **Erza:** I’ve seen some strange things, but nothing beats that.

 **Lucy:** B-but hasn’t that been up… [blush]

 **Natsu:** Anything flammable should not be made out with.

 **Gray:** Not enough people are taking into account that this is a _broom_!

 **Laxus:** I… Have no words…

 **Freed:** …How peculiar.

 **Bickslow:** Well I can totally understand this… making out with an inanimate wooden object…

 **Evergreen:** Bickslow, you need help.

 **Bickslow:** Don’t knock it ‘til you try it Ever.

 **Evergreen:** …

 **Makarov:** Definitely not what I wanted to see in here.

 **Mirajane:** Perhaps I’ll just go.

 **Elfman:** This is a man who has no words.

 **Lisanna:** [runs away]

 **Nab:** Wow! People can have relationships in this series?!

 **Alzack & Bisca:** Um… hello?

 **Alzack:** we should probably close the door before Asuka comes along.

 **Bisca:** Definitely.

 **Asuka:** Mum, Dad, what’s that strange man doing with the mop?

 **Alzack & Bisca:** …Crud.

 **Bacchus:** Somebody’s doing something wilder than me?! Not cool!

 **Cana:** Far be it from me to judge.

 **Jet:** Dammit, this was reserved for me and Levy later!

 **Droy:** Nuh-uh, it was for Levy and _me_!

 **Jet:** No, _me_!

 **Levy:** …

 **Levy:** Not even gonna say anything.

 **Gajeel:** Well, I thought this whole guild was crazy. But you take the biscuit.

 **Pantherlily:** Wait up Gajeel! T-take me with you!

 **Gildarts:** I’ve lived long enough to see some weird stuff, but I think _this_ is what’s gonna drive me insane.

 **Lyon:** [slams the door]

 **Yuka:** I was only looking for the bathroom! I did not deserve to see this!

 **Toby:** …But I just wanted my sock…

 **Sherry:** Look everyone needs to stop freaking out! This is just “LOVE!”

 **Max:** …Next time I stay at home.

 **Broom:** [is a broom]

 **Max:** So glad you agree!


	76. Chapter 76

**Rogue and Brandish are dating!**

(As requested by anon) Sorry, added in my headcanon here that Rogue and Zeref are distantly related)

 

 **Sting:** Who?

 **Lector:** It’s some lady from the Spriggan 12.

 **Sting:** Who?

 **Lector:** The most powerful people in Arbaless.

 **Sting:** Where?

 **Lector:** [facepalm]

 **Frosch:** Fro thinks so too!

 **Marin:** I would usually feel happy for milady, you know if she hadn’t KILLED ME!

 **Brandish:** Hush subordinate.

 **Marin:** Yes ma’am.

 **Erza:** If only this woman wasn’t my enemy… I sense we would be great friends.

 **Mirajane:** Aww Rogue’s probably pretty cute when he’s opened up a bit!

 **Rogue:** There is no opening up in this relationship. Have you _seen_ her?

 **Sting:** Have _you_ seen her?!

 **Rogue:** No need to bring canon into it.

 **Sting:** But… you… she… ugh!

 **Zeref:** While I don’t really bother if my subjects are dating either way, I approve of this Rogue though, he seems… interesting.

 **Rogue:** …I am incredibly creeped out right now.

 **Brandish:** It happens.

 **Orga:** That lady’s really good looking, why would she want to date someone like Rogue?

 **Rogue:** …

 **Brandish:** …

 **Rufus:** Come away Orga, I’m not entirely sure which of them is going to mutilate you first.

 **Rufus:** And also Rogue, I’m glad you’ve found someone you like enough that way to date.

 **Sting:** What?! Doesn’t he like me enough?! Why aren’t you dating _me_ Rogue?!

 **Rogue:** …Uh, Sting?

 **Brandish:** Foolish person, stop being so desperate, it makes you look pathetic.

 **Sting:** PATHETIC?! Okay, you are _so_ going to get it!

 **Rufus:** [drags Sting away] Why am I in the guild full of idiots?

 **Gray:** At least you’re not in the guild with _Natsu_ ; he trumps everyone when it comes to being an idiot.

 **Rufus:** I take your point.

 **Minerva:** A strong beautiful woman dating the _shadow_ dragon slayer? She must have some very dark tastes.

 **Yukino:** Well she is apparently an enemy… Who knows?

 **Mirajane:** I just know that they’re so cute together!

 **Gray:** Mira you think every couple is cute.

 **Mirajane:** Well, they are.

 **Erza:** Don’t start this Gray, you won’t win.

 **Gray:** Well okay then.


	77. Chapter 77

**Rogue and Cana are dating! Reactions?**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Gildarts:** Somebody’s dating my precious little girl? Let me at him!

 **Makarov:** Calm down Gildarts, no breaking anyone into tiny pieces.

 **Gildarts:** But-

 **Makarov:** No.

 **Gildarts:** …Fine.

 **Mirajane:** Mmm…

 **Cana:** If you’re wondering why we got together it is merely for the shallow reason of he’s hot.

 **Mirajane:** …Spoilsport.

 **Gray:** I can see this working, Rogue could definitely loosen up a bit and maybe he could keep Cana more grounded?

 **Bacchus:** Trust me; you’re not keeping that girl grounded for anything. She’s wild.

 **Gray:** …She’s going to come to me and tell me _everything_ , I just know it.

 **Gildarts:** I do not want my precious daughter doing anything that needs to be ‘talked about’ with this guy!

 **Makarov:** YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO MINIATURIZE HIM!

 **Sting:** But if he did, could I keep one of the mini Rogue’s?

 **Makarov:** What? No. Why would you even want a part of him?

 **Sting:** …No reason.

 **Yukino:** I think they’d be super cute!

 **Sting:** Yeah they would wouldn’t they? That’s why I want one!

 **Yukino:** …I was talking about Rogue and Cana dating.

 **Sting:** Well of course; that’s what I was talking about. Yes.

 **Laxus:** …Deep breaths. I will not electrify Cana’s boyfriend. I will not electrify Cana’s boyfriend.

 **Gildarts:** _Laxus_?

 **Laxus:** …I’m just looking out for a guildmate?

 **Gildarts:** [suspicious glare]

 **Laxus:** …Freed, I’d like to hear your opinion on this.

 **Freed:** Well, I suppose I don’t know Rogue enough to judge, but he seems well liked by Yukino who Mira speaks very highly of so I assume he is a good person. I’m certain he will be good to Cana.

 **Natsu:** And if he ever treats her bad, I can just beat him up again!

 **Minerva:** Likewise, should Cana ever harm my comrade in anyway there will be blood.

 **Gildarts:** …Well now I’m not sure _who_ to glare at!

 **Minerva:** …

 **Laxus:** …

 **Minerva:** I’m sure there’s some paperwork I need to sort out back at the guild.

 **Laxus:** And I need a drink.

 **Lucy:** Am I really going to be the first to say this? I’m so happy for Cana! She was talking about needing a boyfriend!

 **Rocker:** This is that buddy of Bacchus’ who hung out with us at the waterpark right? She’s cool; it’s pretty nice to see her with someone she deems okay enough to date. Should be wild.

 **Makarov:** …My children are growing up… pairing off… am I going to be alone?

 **Fairy Tail Guild:** Uh, _hello_?!

 **Makarov:** …Nobody appreciates angst drama anymore.


	78. Chapter 78

**Rogue and Angel are dating! Thoughts?**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Jellal:** …That guy looks a little like Zeref.

 **Meredy:** Jellal, you could have started by congratulating our guildmate first!

 **Jellal:** Alright then; Angel I’m so happy for you! Why does that guy look like Zeref?

 **Meredy:** …You’re just impossible aren’t you?

 **Jellal:** _Zeref_!

 **Cobra:** Ignore him. Good for you Angel, maybe you aren’t such an old bag after all.

 **Angel:** …Dammit I miss my keys!

 **Rogue:** Its fine, I’m pretty sure I can beat him.

 **Mirajane:** Doesn’t she have her Angel Summoning?

 **Rogue:** Yes, but I’m not too fond of my girlfriend giving away years of her life.

 **Mirajane:** Point taken.

 **Mirajane:** And by the way, you too are so cute together!

 **Hibiki:** That goes without saying, but I think that lovely lady could do a bit better than Rogue. [sparkles]

 **Ren:** Definitely, not that I care or anything.

 **Eve:** Do you think she needs a little brother?

 **Rogue:** Stop trying to flirt with Angel.

 **Hibiki:** …I don’t know why I’m suddenly so terrified but I really am.

 **Ren & Eve:** Agreed.

 **Sting:** Whoa, I always knew Rogue could get someone awesome! I’ve lived with him nearly all my life; nobody is closer to him than me…

 **Rogue:** …

 **Angel:** He’s going to be the third wheel on our dates isn’t he?

 **Rogue:** Yes. Yes he is.

 **Minerva:** Well if Rogue’s happy I don’t see why I should complain about this, she’s on the good team now, right?

 **Yukino:** Of course! Rogue-sama should be a very good match for any woman!

 **Minerva:** Why do you say that?

 **Yukino:** N-no reason!

 **Racer:** Don’t see why I’m supposed to care. So she’s got a boyfriend that she’s practically never going to see, whoop dee doo.

 **Midnight:** You could be a little more enthusiastic, she is a comrade after all.

 **Racer:** Since when do you care about that sort of stuff?

 **Midnight:** I am the boss of you do not question me.

 **Jellal:** Well… technically I’m the boss of all of you.

 **Rogue:** Thank you, they were annoying me.

 **Jellal:** Zeref!

 **Rogue:** … [sighs]

 **Hot Eye:** All you need is love! Oh yeah!

 **Angel:** Do you just wanna get out of here?

 **Rogue:** So very, very much.


	79. Chapter 79

**Hey guys! Rogue and Mirajane are dating!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Sting:** I have grown up with Rogue. I have had the utmost confidence in him for years. He is my best friend and I know him better than anyone. But how he managed to nab someone as beautiful as Mirajane is beyond me.

 **Laxus:** [crackling electricity] I will calm down; I will not murder this guy. I will calm down… Nope can’t do it. Hey Natsu?!

 **Natsu:** Wha- [punched]

 **Freed:** …I hope that this Rogue knows what he’s getting into. He’ll never be able to disagree with her on anything important.

 **Sting:** Eh, he lives with me and I’m pretty stubborn, he’s used to it at this point.

 **Freed:** …He, lives with you?

 **Sting:** Yeah, of course he does, we share everything!

 **Freed:** …Um, Mira?

 **Minerva:** Rogue is a good man; I’m not surprised he’s appealing to someone like Mirajane.

 **Lucy:** And of course they both have their darker sides.

 **Makarov:** Yes, about that… Is it really wise to allow the ‘She Devil’ and the _Shadow_ Dragon Slayer to be a couple?

 **Lucy:** Are you brave enough to try and stop them?

 **Makarov:** …Mirajane I hope you are very happy with your new boyfriend.

 **Minerva:** Probably a good call.

 **Yukino:** Mirajane-sama was always very kind to me, I’m so glad Rogue-sama found someone as good as her!

 **Wakaba:** …Well I suppose I never really stood a chance against anyone anyway.

 **Macao:** Also you’re married.

 **Wakaba:** Wha- Oh yeah, that.

 **Macao:** …

 **Elfman:** Well at least we all know that nobody has to threaten anyone in this list. Mira’s too nice to hurt anyone and Rogue’s gonna be in for a visit from Satan Soul if he hurts her.

 **Rogue:** …Just what am I getting myself into?

 **Sting:** From what I can see, trouble.

 **Rogue:** Agreed.

 **Lisanna:** I’m so happy for big sis! She managed to match-make for herself aswell as Natsu and Lucy!

 **Natsu:** Why would she match up me and Lucy?

 **Lucy:** S-she’s wrong about that! I don’t like Natsu that way!

 **Lisanna:** Sure you don’t.


	80. Chapter 80

**FT Characters! Rogue and Erza are dating! How do you react?**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Jellal:** …

 **Meredy:** Jellal?

 **Jellal:** What?

 **Meredy:** Are you okay?

 **Jellal:** …Yeah I’m fine. I’m getting married to someone anyway.

 **Meredy:** Literally no-one believes that.

 **Jellal:** …Dammit!

 **Sting:** Never knew that Rogue was a masochist. Why else would he want to date someone who is very easily angered and violent?

 **Rufus:** Maybe because she is called the ‘Queen of the Fairies’ can look after herself, won’t ever nag him for wanting something unless it’s for a birthday gift, and is incredibly beautiful?

 **Sting:** …

 **Rufus:** Just a passing thought.

 **Gray:** Well congratulations Erza, just don’t scare him too much.

 **Erza:** Why would I scare him?

 **Gray:** …No reason.

 **Erza:** No really, tell me.

 **Gray:** It’s nothing.

 **Erza:** _Gray_.

 **Gray:** …It’s just, if he ever takes sweets away from you, you’ll as good as kill him.

 **Rogue:** I don’t have a sweet tooth.

 **Gray:** Oh. Well okay then.

 **Natsu:** But what about if he says something she doesn’t agree with, he’s got to have an opinion, hasn’t he?

 **Sting:** Not that I’ve seen.

 **Rogue:** I have my own opinions!

 **Sting:** Really? But you always do everything I say at the guild!

 **Rogue:** You’re the guildmaster! I have to listen to you!

 **Sting:** …Oh. Well there’s lots of fun I can have with this.

 **Rufus:** Damn you Rogue!

 **Lucy:** I’m very happy for you Erza! Rogue’s pretty cool!

 **Natsu:** And if he ever goes Future Rogue on us, I can beat him up again!

 **Erza:** Future Rogue?

 **Natsu:** Well-

 **Gray:** What’s this about a Future Rogue?

 **Natsu:** …Nothing.

 **Mirajane:** Well done Erza! I’m surprised you managed to get someone like Rogue to open up to you!

 **Erza:** And just what’s that supposed to mean?

 **Mirajane:** Oh nothing~!

 **Erza:** Just you wait Mira, I’ll get you back for that one day.


	81. Chapter 81

**Rogue and Minerva are dating! Thoughts?**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Yukino:** I’m very happy for Minerva-sama and Rogue-sama! I’m sure they’ll be very happy together!

 **Erza:** Yes, he seems to be able to handle someone like Minerva.

 **Minerva:** ‘Someone like Minerva?’

 **Erza:** Someone who was once really dark and sadistic but has done a 180 and has turned out to be one of the nicest people ever.

 **Erza:** That sounds like Rogue too actually… excluding sadistic…

 **Minerva:** Why do you think we’re dating?

 **Mirajane:** H-How did Erza guess this before me!? It’s not fair!

 **Erza:** I-It’s nothing Mirajane, I just got lucky, that’s all.

 **Mirajane:** I’ll guess it next time.

 **Erza:** Of course you will.

 **Sting:** Well, well done Rogue, milady! I’m sure you’re going to work out.

 **Rogue:** You’re awfully cheerful about this.

 **Sting:** Without you hanging around, I can go and pick up as many girls as I can!

 **Rogue:** You could have gone out and flirted with people, I was never completely dependent on you Sting.

 **Sting & Minerva:** You weren’t?

 **Rogue:** …

 **Lector:** Good for Rogue, maybe with a girlfriend now, he’ll lighten up a bit!

 **Minerva:** That’s not really his thing…

 **Rogue:** …Someone who doesn’t make that pun at me… marry me I love you.

 **Yukino:** [blush] I think that’s taking things a little too far Rogue-sama…

 **Minerva:** Really? I’m on board for it.

 **Yukino:** …

 **Sting:** …

 **Lector:** …

 **Mirajane:** I get to help plan the wedding!

 **Rufus:** I suppose this was pretty inevitable after Rogue and Sting brought Milady back to the guild.

 **Orga:** But couldn’t it also have been Sting, if that’s the case?

 **Rufus:** Oh silly Orga, Sting’s far too… bubbly.

 **Orga:** ‘Bubbly?’

 **Sting:** Yeah, so I’m bubbly?

 **Rufus:** Yes. Bubbly.

 **Rogue:** So this got weird pretty quickly.

 **Minerva:** Uh-huh.


	82. Chapter 82

**Everyone, Rogue and Ultear are dating! Reactions?**

(As requested by anon) Added in a bit of my headcanon that Ultear and Minerva could have been best buds if they’d met)

 

 **Gray:** He does anything to Ultear and I’ll freeze him to death.

 **Sting:** She does anything to him and I’ll blast her to pieces.

 **Gray:** Well Ultear’s actually trying to ‘repent for her misdeeds’ so it’s unlikely she’ll do anything to your buddy.

 **Sting:** And Rogue is actually a nice guy so he won’t do anything to your friend.

 **Meredy:** I’m so happy for her! She deserves someone good for her after everything she’s been through!

 **Jellal:** I suppose… That guy seems shady though…

 **Meredy:** Well he _is_ the Shadow Dragon Slayer.

 **Kagura:** That Ultear woman is strong and trying to work for a better life and wishes to redeem herself, she hangs out with Jellal… Uh, I don’t even know why I was told about this in the first place!

 **Millianna:** You know, it seems like you’ve got a bit of a crush on him~

 **Kagura:** I-I do not!

 **Erza:** I think they look cute together.

 **Mirajane:** …Erza… do _not_ steal my line!

 **Erza:** I’m sorry Mirajane!

 **Mirajane:** You _stole_ my line!

 **Erza:** I beg forgiveness Mira!

 **Mirajane:** …I can never stay mad at people.

 **Sherry:** I’ve only seen Rogue at the Grand Magic Games but he was very handsome… It’s so nice to see someone find “LOVE!”

 **Jiemma:** I don’t care about his love life, I will destroy that fool Rogue and the rest of that pathetic guild.

 **Ultear:** Oh you do _not_ threaten my boyfriend and his family!

[Ultear on Jiemma violence!]

 **Sting:** …I like this girl.

 **Rogue:** I thought you would.

 **Minerva:** I think she’s really incredible! I feel like we would be great friends.

 **Ultear:** Oh I like _you_.

 **Sting:** …

 **Rogue:** …

 **Rogue:** …Is my girlfriend semi-cheating on me?

 **Sting:** I think…


	83. Chapter 83

**Rogue and Meredy are dating, how do you react?**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Ultear:** My precious little girl isn’t old enough to date!

 **Gray:** Um…

 **Ultear:** Not old enough!

 **Meredy:** Uh…

 **Ultear:** NOT OLD ENOUGH!

 **Meredy:** …

 **Gray:** …

 **Gray:** Well okay then.

 **Meredy:** So does this make me a rebel; because I am really okay with that.

 **Jellal:** I am ever so glad for you Meredy!

 **Meredy:** …Hmm, what would your motive be…?

 **Jellal:** What motive? Do I need a motive to say how happy I am my guildmate has found someone she likes enough to date?

 **Jellal:** So now you can do everything that couples do, go out on dates-

 **Meredy:** Ah hah! So this is about me pranking you all the time?

 **Jellal:** It just gets really annoying and embarrassing, okay?

 **Meredy:** Just because I have a boyfriend, does _not_ mean I’m going to lay off that.

 **Jellal:** …Damn.

 **Sting:** Congratulations Rogue! I never expected you’d want to date someone as bright and cheery as that but she’s cute!

 **Rogue:** Sting-

 **Sting:** And no don’t worry, I’m not gonna make put any moves on your girlfriend. I’m just saying.

 **Orga:** Yeah I never really saw Rogue as the type to go out with somebody who wasn’t dark and gloomy, or anyone at all.

 **Rogue:** Well now you’re just being mean.

 **Rufus:** So ignore them, idiots should be seen and not heard.

 **Sting & Orga:** HEY!!

 **Rogue:** I’m pretty sure that’s for children… And really outdated…

 **Rufus:** Whatever, well done by the way.

 **Yukino:** I’m so pleased for them, Meredy seems really nice and I’m sure she can get Rogue out of his shell.

 **Minerva:** Yes, it would be nice if our dear comrade could smile more.

 **Yukino:** Maybe we could get him to talk to us about stuff?

 **Minerva:** And if he opens up that means we are within our rights to drag him shopping!

 **Rogue:** …See this is exactly why I don’t tell people things.


	84. Chapter 84

**Rogue is dating Ultear, Meredy _and_ Kagura!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Sting:** Wow! I never knew Rogue was such a player!

 **Gildarts:** He is truly an inspiration to all men everywhere.

 **Cana:** Not cool Dad…

 **Gildarts:** I’m so sorry my sweet little baby, forgive me!

 **Cana:** …ugh.

 **Laxus:** I have to agree with the old timer a little, those girls are three incredibly strong wizards. He’s playing a really dangerous game by dating them all at the same time.

 **Sting:** Technically the girls are dating each other too…

 **Juvia:** But isn’t Meredy Ultear’s daughter?

 **Meredy:** Adopted, but yeah.

 **Juvia:** Then how-?

 **Meredy:** Don’t ask; the answers get weird.

 **Juvia:** …

 **Gray:** Well so long as Ultear’s happy with the arrangement, I’ve got no right to judge.

 **Millianna:** I always knew that Kagura was a bit of a wonky arrow, this doesn’t come as a surprise to me.

 **Risley:** Or to me, and I guess Rogue’s just there to fulfil the man’s job.

 **Gray:** ‘Man’s job?’

 **Risley:** Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Other girls don’t do that as well.

 **Gray:** I will not ask, I will not ask, I will not ask…

 **Natsu:** So what does that mean?

 **Risley:** I work in a guild for all females, take a guess.

 **Gray:** …Dammit.

 **Natsu:** I don’t get it.

 **Gray:** When you’re older Natsu.

 **Natsu:** Awww.

 **Rufus:** I honestly didn’t expect _Rogue_ to turn out this way; I shall have to remember this.

 **Orga:** Good on him though, as long as he keeps them all happy.

 **Jellal:** …Won’t it be a bit awkward seeing as we’re travelling all the time? You know, trying to track down Zeref and all…

 **Ultear:** Yes, but we think it’s worth it.

 **Jellal:** Worth it how exactly?

 **Meredy:** Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

 **Kagura:** I feel a little sorry for you, stuck with two girls who are going to be thinking about that all the time.

 **Jellal:** And just how do you know that?

 **Kagura:** I have seen Rogue naked, trust me I know.

 **Jellal:** …

 **Kagura:** He is very hot.


	85. Chapter 85

**Rogue is dating Erza, Minerva and Kagura! Thoughts?**

(As requested by anon) Alright the specifics for this one are that they are not all one big couple like last chapter but are separate girlfriends who are aware of the situation and ok with it… Some requests are weird)

 

 **Natsu:** And Erza’s okay with this? I figured she’d at least break a lot of stuff.

 **Lucy:** Natsu, that’s what you do.

 **Natsu:** Oh yeah.

 **Jellal:** …I’m fine, I’m not sad, as long as Erza’s happy, I’m happy. I don’t deserve her anyway…

 **Meredy:** That’s a load of bull and you know it.

 **Jellal:** …Thanks Meredy.

 **Gray:** Wow, I knew she got along well with Kagura, and that she had accepted Minerva, but I didn’t realize it meant this much!

 **Mirajane:** Well of course Gray, and obviously they’d all be attracted to the _Shadow_ Dragon Slayer, with their pasts they must feel something familiar with the darkness.

 **Gray:** M-Mira! This is supposed to be a happy list!

 **Happy:** Then how come my name isn’t in the title?

 **Gray:** Not that kind of ‘happy’ Happy.

 **Happy:** Aww…

 **Lucy:** Well anyway, I suppose as long as Erza’s happy with the arrangement of it all, we shouldn’t really butt in…

 **Natsu:** …Sure.

 **Lucy:** No following her dates with Rogue.

 **Millianna:** I’m glad for Erza and of course Kagura too, but do you think they all secretly get into fights? I mean, these are three really competitive women and sharing a boyfriend – though not each other – must have some downsides.

 **Risley:** I guess so, but I’m sure our girl’s got it covered, nothing can take her down!

 **Beth:** But Erza and Minerva beat her in the finals of the Grand Magic Games…

 **Risley:** Hush Beth.

 **Arania:** So long as my comrade is happy with Rogue during her time with him, I see no reason to complain about it. So far as we’re concerned, it’s none of our business.

 **Lucy:** Yes! Someone sensible!

 **Sting:** …

 **Yukino:** What is it Sting?

 **Sting:** My best friend, who I thought had no interest in anything at all, has surpassed me in the world of picking up girls. He has three different girlfriends… Ah! I just had a brilliant idea!

 **Sabertooth Guild:** We doubt that.

 **Sting:** Shut up. Yukino will you go out with me?

 **Yukino:** E-eh?! [blush]

 **Sting:** well, I need to start with one girlfriend until I build up my own harem!

[Minerva on Sting violence!]

 **Minerva:** Your welcome.


	86. Chapter 86

**Rogue, Yukino and Lisanna are dating! Thoughts?**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Mirajane:** …

 **Elfman:** Big sis?

 **Mirajane:** …

 **Elfman:** Don’t worry, if he pulls any scumbag move, I’ll give him a beating like a real man!

 **Mirajane:** Not unless I kill him first.

 **Elfman:** What?

 **Mirajane:** What?

 **Mirajane:** Anyway, Yukino and Lisanna are both wonderful! I’m sure they’ll both do him a whole lot of good. And they should get along greatly too.

 **Lisanna:** We really do! We go shopping…

 **Yukino:** We cook together and we have lots to talk about.

 **Lisanna:** It’s awesome.

 **Mirajane:** …I’m so… glad.

 **Sting:** Well Rogue’s scowl is probably going to be gone for a while.

 **Minerva:** Certainly, I wonder if he’ll even smile more around the guild.

 **Rogue:** For Yukino, and if Lisanna ever comes around.

 **Sting:** …It’s a special smile just for them huh?

 **Rogue:** Yes.

 **Sting:** …They are lucky girls indeed.

 **Frosch:** Fro is very happy for Rogue! And for Fro’s too new mamas!

 **Lisanna:** He’s so adorable! I just want to pick him up and never let him go.

 **Yukino:** So cute~!

 **Rogue:** …Sometimes I think they’re more in this relationship for Frosch then for me.

 **Sting:** Nah, you’re a pretty good catch if I do say so myself.

 **Rogue:** …

 **Sting:** I-in a totally platonic way of course! Heh.

 **Natsu:** Yukino’s A-Okay with me and Rogue is a pretty decent guy, Lisanna’s in very good hands.

 **Lucy:** And you too Yukino, I’m sure this will last for a very long time.

 **Yukino:** If you want to jump for joy now that you have a better chance with Natsu, nobody will judge you for it.

 **Lucy:** …I don’t know what you’re talking about.

 **Lisanna:** _Sure_ you don’t.

 **Lucy:** No really! I-I mean it.

 **Rufus:** I expected Yukino to end up with either Sting or Rogue so this doesn’t come as a shock to me. Though I will admit I’m a little surprised at the addition of Lisanna. But she’s very like Yukino so it’s not such a big difference…

 **Orga:** …Rogue is one lucky guy. ‘Nuff said.


	87. Chapter 87

**Rogue, Mira and Angel are dating! Your reactions?**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Elfman:** I am going to kill that guy!

 **Lisanna:** Don’t worry about it too much, otherwise you’ll be facing big sis!

 **Elfman:** No harm shall ever come to her boyfriend.

 **Lisanna:** And also, if either of them hurt her, I’m pretty sure she’s got it covered.

 **Elfman:** …

 **Lisanna:** …

 **Elfman:** Our sister’s kinda scary isn’t she?

 **Lisanna:** 110% yes.

 **Lucy:** I’m glad Angel’s got a second chance, and hanging around someone as sweet as Mirajane ought to help her set some other things straight. She’s so sweet.

 **Racer:** Sure, sweet; not from what I saw of her.

 **Lucy:** That was filler!

 **Racer:** Whatever, hey Angel! Congrats on the people you’re with, they’re both way more powerful and out of your league than you!

 **Angel:** Oh you are cruisin’ for a brusin’…

 **Racer:** Oh crud-

[Angel on Racer violence!]

 **Cobra:** Hey! You should have let me have a piece of him; it’s my job to insult you!

 **Mirajane:** …I get to deal with this one ‘k?

 **Angel:** I’m not complaining.

 **Rogue:** Just don’t kill him, please?

 **Mirajane:** …No promises.

 **Laxus:** So Natsu, this guy was super easy to beat right?

 **Natsu:** Oh yeah.

 **Laxus:** But I wouldn’t hit the girl… Hey Evergreen! If this relationship of theirs goes bust will you take out that Angel chick for me?

 **Natsu:** I’d do it!

 **Laxus:** You’d hit a girl?!

 **Natsu:** No, I’d take her out. Maybe to dinner.

 **Jellal:** I think we should top talking about an ‘inevitable’ breakup while they’re in the room. I would personally prefer to have the complete focus of my guildmate but if she’d pleased with the relationship she’s in, I won’t stop her.

 **Laxus:** Still cautious of Mirajane?

 **Jellal:** You told me to watch myself around her, and if she makes _you_ say that, I’m scared.

 **Laxus:** Probably a good choice.


	88. Chapter 88

**FT Characters! You’ve just found out Rogue and Jenny are dating!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Hibiki:** B-but we haven’t even really broken up yet!

 **Rogue:** Jenny, you told me you’d make a clean break.

 **Jenny:** Oh alright. Hibiki, I’m breaking up with you.

 **Hibiki:** …Well that’s just not fair.

 **Jenny:** That’s life for you.

 **Ren:** Hey Hibiki! We’re going out for some drinks and to check out some people, you wanna come?

 **Eve:** Yeah, we’re having a competition of how many girls’ phone numbers we can get! It’ll be awesome!

 **Hibiki:** …You two are great.

 **Ichiya:** It’s always heart-warming to see someone so beautiful find someone as good as Jenny. Men!

 **Rogue:** Uh…

 **Jenny:** Ignore him.

 **Bob:** I have to agree with Ichiya, how wonderful that one of my dearies has found someone she wants to settle down with. That boy’s positively yummy!

 **Rogue:** [shivering]

 **Jenny:** Why thank you Master! I’m so happy…

 **Mirajane:** I’m glad for Jenny! Rogue’s such a nice guy; he’d definitely be a great boyfriend.

 **Yukino:** Yes, Rogue-sama will definitely have an… interesting relationship.

 **Orga:** Yikes, he managed to grab a hottie like that! You go Rogue! Keep on putting all of us other guys to shame.

 **Rogue:** …Sarcasm?

 **Orga:** Yes. That was _so_ much sarcasm.

 **Rogue:** Well there’s no need to be rude.

 **Orga:** You are making my single status look worse than it really is by dating a model, I think I have earned rude.

 **Rogue:** But you didn’t have to-

 **Rufus:** Enough! Honestly, you two are squabbling like children; you should be ashamed of yourselves.

 **Rogue & Orga:** Sorry Rufus.

 **Rufus:** Better.

 **Minerva:** Has Rufus always sort of been the ‘mother’ of the guild?

 **Yukino:** As far as I can tell, yes.

 **Sting:** …

 **Rogue:** You’ve been pretty quiet Sting, what’s wrong?

 **Sting:** Oh nothing’s wrong. Except for the fact that my best friend is TOTALLY AWESOME!

 **Rogue:** Huh?

 **Sting:** You’re dating a model that was almost more popular than Mirajane Strauss ever was until she returned! That is so cool!

 **Rogue:** Uh…

 **Sting:** Can I have an autograph?

 **Rogue:** What?! No!

 **Jenny:** Your friend’s pretty weird isn’t he?

 **Rogue:** Oh yes. Though I think at this point it’s his lack of relationship status.

 **Jenny:** Poor guy.

 **Rogue:** Mmhm.


	89. Chapter 89

**Rogue is dating Mirajane and Jenny! Thoughts?**

(As requested by anon)

 

 

 **Sting:** My best friend is dating two of the most beautiful women in the universe who happen to be very popular models. I am so proud.

 **Lector:** Sting, you’re crying.

 **Sting:** I’m just so proud.

 **Yukino:** Mirajane is such a wonderful person and Jenny seems good too, I am very pleased for Rogue!

 **Minerva:** You realize if he hurts either of them, either Mira will go Satan Soul on him or Jenny will do something sneaky.

 **Minerva:** Do you think he knows what he’s getting into?

 **Lucy:** Maybe, though I’m pretty sure he wasn’t the one to ask either of them out.

 **Minerva:** Yes I did wonder about that…

 **Lisanna:** My guess is that Mira and Jenny both asked him out.

 **Lucy:** But wouldn’t they have just fought over him?

 **Lisanna:** But then he’d only be dating Mira…

 **Lucy:** Good point…

 **Hibiki:** Jenny’s a pretty clever girl; she probably got Mirajane to make some agreement before they asked him out.

 **Lucy:** Wait, shouldn’t you be upset Hibiki? I thought Jenny was your girlfriend.

 **Hibiki:** Honestly that’s what I thought to, but with this she’s dating Mira as well as Rogue so I am perfectly happy to just sit back and watch the show.

 **Elfman:** My sister’s a real man! She’s going to get you for that.

 **Hibiki:** I’m pretty sure it’ll be worth it.

 **Sting:** I’m with you there. Rogue is so lucky.

 **Yukino:** [blush] You two are really weird, you know that?

 **Minerva:** I think they’re both a little past caring at this point. It’s one of the many bad things that come with being men.

 **Hibiki:** Hey! It’s not bad if we enjoy it!

 **Sting:** Yeah, what he said!

[Minerva on Sting and Hibiki violence!]

 **Sting:** Milady is as impressive as ever.

 **Hibiki:** So… can I have your number?

 **Minerva:** …

 **Lucy:** …

 **Yukino:** …

 **Lisanna:** …

 **Lucy:** Guys are weird.

 **Lisanna:** Yes, yes they are.


	90. Chapter 90

**FT Characters! Jellal and Ultear are dating!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Erza:** …

 **Erza:** Okay Erza, you can do it. There’s no need to requip, you are perfectly happy that this man – who is just a friend to you – has found someone he wants to go out with. You have no complaints at all…

 **Meredy:** There’s a backroom with lots of junk in it if you want to scream and break things. It’s soundproofed don’t worry.

 **Erza:** I’d never stoop to such a level that I needed to run away for stress relief! On another note, I think there’ something in that junk I need, I’ll be back there for a while as I try to find it.

 **Mirajane:** Well I’m fairly certain that Jellal and Erza are meant for each other, and I will not be wrong.

 **Ultear:** But-

 **Mirajane:** I will _not_ be wrong.

 **Ultear:** …That guild is just full of scary people.

 **Gray:** I’m so happy for these two, they sure do go back a long way!

 **Lucy:** When Ultear possessed him and pretended to be the ghost of Zeref, leading Jellal to do horrible and evil things?

 **Gray:** Jeez, no need to rain on the parade Lucy, don’t be such a downer.

 **Lucy:** …I will never have a sane person in my life shall I?

 **Happy:** At this rate, no.

 **Lucy:** To be fair, I should have guessed what I was getting into after meeting Natsu when I wanted to join this guild…

 **Meredy:** Oh, I just noticed, I get to be the first one to actually say ‘Congratulations’! I really am so happy for the both of you!

 **Gray:** Hey, I said I was happy for them too.

 **Meredy:** I get to be the first girl to say congratulations. But wait… If those two are going out…

 **Meredy:** Wow! I’m the third wheel!

 **Jellal:** Don’t think just because we’re dating we’ll stop excluding you Meredy.

 **Ultear:** Of course, we’re just more like an actual family now.

 **Meredy:** Oh, you misunderstood… I think it’s great, if you two are hanging out together it means I get to prank the both of you at the same time!

 **Jellal:** …

 **Ultear:** …

 **Meredy:** I am so, so happy you two are together!


	91. Chapter 91

**Jellal and Meredy are dating! Thoughts?**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Ultear:** JELLAL I’M GOING TO GET YOU! YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!

 **Jellal:** …Thank you so much Ultear. I will forever be afraid of old women now.

 **Ultear:** THAT IS NOT THE POINT!

 **Meredy:** Ultear please calm down. I’m a big girl now and I can make my own decisions. Besides, don’t you have any faith in me to beat him up if he’s bad?

 **Ultear:** I suppose you’re right, how silly of me, of course I trust you to beat him if he’s awful. I don’t have to like it though.

 **Jellal:** Ah but- [sigh] I’m not a bad guy!

 **Cobra:** I have to hand it to the guy; she’s pretty cute and pretty strong, he’s found himself a good match.

 **Angel:** Of course, though I’m a little sorry that now the only men in our guild for me are the former Oracion Seis.

 **Racer:** Why? Is there something wrong with us?

 **Angel:** So many things.

 **Angel:** But besides all of that, I think this couple is rather cute.

 **Ultear:** …Stop supporting this.

 **Hot Eye:** All you need is love, oh yeah!

 **Ultear:** Seriously, stop.

 **Midnight:** This should be amusing; I always thought Meredy drove him a little mad. I support this if only for how funny it should be for everyone, except Jellal.

 **Ultear:** Cut it out.

 **Racer:** I guess that girl is pretty fun, though at least Jellal might brighten up a bit, she could get him to laugh and of course there’s always _that_ smile.

 **Ultear:** Don’t-

 **Racer:** You know; that smile you have after you just got some.

 **Ultear:** …WOULD EVERYODY PLEASE STOP AGRREING WITH THIS COUPLE!?

 **Erza:** YES, IT’S INCREDIBLY INFURIATING!

 **Jellal:** E-Erza!

 **Erza:** Jellal…

 **Jellal:** I had a fiancée, you knew that. It just happened to be Meredy.

 **Cobra:** Nobody believes that _you_ actually had a fiancée, you can stop with that.

 **Jellal:** …Well, crud.


	92. Chapter 92

**Everyone, Jellal and Angel are dating!** **Reactions?**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Cobra:** I’m surprised she was able to get someone, Jellal’s pretty good looking and she just looks like an Angel.

 **Racer:** That’s meant to be a good thing.

 **Cobra:** Oh sorry, force of habit. It never seemed to fit when in the ‘six demons’ so I guess it’s just instinct.

 **Racer:** We’re not the Oracion Seis anymore.

 **Cobra:** I know, but it’s also really, really fun.

 **Racer:** I guess I can’t argue with that point.

 **Hot Eye:** Couldn’t we be a bit more supportive to our comrades’ relationship? They’re happy with one another, oh yeah!

 **Midnight:** Just ignore them, those morons are simply bored. They have nothing to say that’s worth listening to.

 **Cobra & Racer:** Oi!

 **Midnight:** I’m sorry; I can’t hear you over the sound of your idiocy.

 **Lucy:** Well I know Angel’s a good guy now, and I also know that Jellal is a good guy so I’m happy for them. Everybody deserves to be with someone they love and loves you back.

 **Erza:** My life has shattered to pieces… There is nothing but darkness anymore.

 **Lucy:** …So I’m gonna stop talking.

 **Yukino:** My sister’s got a boyfriend! I’m so pleased for her, she was always so kind and beautiful… she is the one who deserves happiness the most!

 **Cobra:** Yo Angel! I think your little sister’s got a few screws loose.

[Angel on Cobra violence!]

 **Angel:** Do _not_ insult my sister.

 **Cobra:** Duly noted, now if you don’t mind I have bruises to patch up.

 **Meredy:** Oh this is going to be so much fun! All the things I can now tease you about, the pranks I can pull… Where’s my phone? I need an evil laugh sound.

 **Jellal:** You aren’t serious, right?

 **Meredy:** Deadly serious… Okay if I’d had my phone for that noise that could have sounded so much cooler!

 **Angel:** Shall we just run now?

 **Jellal:** Honestly that is the best thing I’ve heard all day.


	93. Chapter 93

**Jellal is dating Meredy and Ultear! How do you react?**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Erza:** You’d think if he was going to have more than one woman in his life, he could have let me in that way too…

 **Lucy:** You’d _want_ to share him?!

 **Erza:** No, but if I was in and close to him I could have beaten the other ones off…

 **Lucy:** Erza no.

 **Juvia:** Juvia knew that Meredy dearly loved Ultear, but she didn’t know it was this much!

 **Gray:** I guess they just came to an agreement that they both wanted Jellal.

 **Juvia:** Gray-sama is always so smart!

 **Gajeel:** Lay off him Juvia, give him some space.

 **Gray:** Never once did I think I’d say this but thank you Gajeel!

 **Wally:** Whoa, I may hate the guy but he’s got two real beauties there. That’s a dandy thing if I ever saw!

 **Millianna:** I don’t know whether to be happy that Jellal getting some might make him nicer or mad that he’s getting some because he doesn’t deserve anything.

 **Lucy:** But Jellal’s good now…

 **Millianna:** Oh yeah I forgot! It was really… that… Ultear… woman…

 **Millianna:** …

 **Wally:** That is not dandy.

 **Laxus:** That guy seemed pretty cool when he was on Team B with me, I guess it’s cool he’s got some girls who like him.

 **Rustyrose:** Ah, that’s the man Ultear was working with for years, I’m sure she’s very happy; she did seem to have a crush on him.

 **Zancrow:** And of course Meredy follows her everywhere like a little puppy.

 **Rustyrose:** Indeed, though if they were to break up, they are in the same guild now so it would surely be extra awkward.

 **Zancrow:** Good! They deserve it!

 **Rustyrose:** Jealousy does not do good for one’s self Zancrow.

 **Zancrow:** …Shut up. Oh yeah here’s a thought, it’ll be extra awkward if only one of them leaves the relationship!

 **Rustyrose:** True, these three-way relationships are rather confusing.

 **Zancrow:** You said it.


	94. Chapter 94

**FT Characters! Jellal and Kagura are dating!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Erza:** Kagura, you are not my little sister, correct?

 **Kagura:** Correct.

 **Erza:** Oh good. In that case I have absolutely no regrets about STRANGLING YOU TO DEATH!

 **Lucy:** C-calm down Erza! They could always break up?

 **Erza:** But still… Mira! Spar with me?

 **Mirajane:** Why of course Erza! This time though, you’re going down!

 **Erza:** Not with the mood I’m in.

 **Millianna:** I’m so happy that Kagura managed to get past her utter hatred of Jellal and has come to terms with maybe even liking him.

 **Risley:** At this point, it’s probably more than ‘like’.

 **Millianna:** I suppose, she has always jumped right in to feeling strongly about something.

 **Ultear:** I am pleased Jellal is with someone, perhaps now he might lighten up a little.

 **Meredy:** But pretty much all of his gloominess came from angsting over Erza…

 **Kagura:** …

 **Erza:** …

 **Ultear:** I did say ‘perhaps’.

 **Cobra:** Well whatever, it doesn’t really matter to me either way, he’s probably never gonna see her and is just gonna gripe about how much he misses his girlfriend but he’s ‘gotta finish atoning for his sins’… Actually I change my mind, I care about this very much.

 **Angel:** It’s going to be annoying isn’t it?

 **Cobra:** So annoying.

 **Racer:** I could always slow down the time around him so his voice is so slow we don’t really hear what he’s saying?

 **Cobra:** I have never appreciated you until- Wait actually, I still don’t appreciate you but thanks, that’d be great!

 **Racer:** …Can I withdraw my offer?

 **Angel & Cobra:** NO!

 **Angel:** Please don’t, I really don’t think I can stand his girl talk.

 **Kagura:** ‘Girl talk?’

 **Angel:** Well, not that exac-

 **Angel:** I mean yes, girl talk _all_ the time, he’s whining and complaining, it’s really such a put off!

 **Kagura:** …I have made a horrible mistake.


	95. Chapter 95

**I’m so happy! Thank you everyone!**

**(Ok, I’ll swear I’ll get back to requests in a little bit but this now has over 25000 views and I’m jumping for joy!)**

 

 **Natsu:** So what’s this all about? The crazy author did something good?

 **Gray:** She got over 25000 views on this weird thing called FanFiction and apparently has over 400 followers on this website (?) called tumblr…

 **Natsu:** ‘Followers!?’ Does that mean she’s getting more people to make us do these horrible things list after list?!

 **Erza:** I don’t think so, I believe the ‘followers’ are only people who look at what she writes about…

 **Natsu:** That’s worse! It means that there are people looking at us do these horrible things!

 **Lucy:** It’s worse on the site called FanFiction, other people write about all of us getting into even crazier adventures than we’re already stuck with. And a lot of the time we’re doing… things.

 **Natsu:** What kind of ‘things?’

 **Lucy:** Well, you see Natsu; there are these types of things called smut…

 **Natsu:** …

 **Lucy:** …I’m sorry.

 **Natsu:** …But why do they have me bottom for Gray, I could totally top him.

 **Gray:** Uh, Natsu?

 **Natsu:** N-not that I want to or anything!

 **Laxus:** Yeah whatever, good for her or, something…

 **Mirajane:** Aww Laxus don’t be such a killjoy, it’s only for fun. I think it’s wonderful that people like these ‘lists’ enough for her to get such recognition; they’re a lot of fun!

 **Laxus:** Only for you because you get to play matchmaker and terrify everybody to your heart’s content! Damn demon…

 **Mirajane:** ‘Damn… demon…?’

[Mirajane is sobbing in the corner]

 **Laxus:** …

 **Erza:** You might want to start running now Laxus.

 **Laxus:** _Way_ ahead of you.

 **Lucy:** I guess we should be grateful for all of them, they like us enough to stick with us.

 **Gray:** Yeah thanks you guys! We appreciate how you’ve been supporting us all this time!

 **Lucy & Gray:** Have a nice day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This obviously referred to Fanfiction.net and tumblr but thank you everyone reading it here too~!


	96. Chapter 96

**Everybody! Jellal is dating Ultear and Kagura!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Meredy:** …Oh yeah I’m sure that isn’t awkward at all. Please note my sarcastic tone.

 **Lucy:** How come?

 **Meredy:** Jellal is the person Kagura wanted to kill but then she found out that Jellal was innocent for the reason of her wanting to kill him and discovered it was Ultear that she probably really wanted to kill, so I think it must be very awkward in that relationship purely because of the amount of killing talk there must be.

 **Lucy:** There was a lot of killing talk in your sentence and you’re not awkward.

 **Meredy:** Hey thanks!

 **Erza:** In that relationship, in that sentence… Pah never mind that! There’s a lot of killing talk right here!

 **Lucy:** You haven’t really talked about killing yet Erza.

 **Erza:** Oh. I’m going to kill you two! How’s that?

 **Lucy:** Well you said ‘a lot of killing talk’ but you’ve only said one thing about that really…

 **Erza:** Look would you please stop interrupting me? I’m trying to threaten them both.

 **Erza:** So anyway Ultear and Kagura, who is totally not my little sister, I am going to the kill both of you!

 **Lucy:** That’s better!

 **Meredy:** I never took you as the type to support something like this Lucy, I’m disappointed…

 **Lucy:** Ah…! But- no!

 **Meredy:** So disappointed.

 **Gray:** Eh, so long as Ultear’s happy I’m cool with it, and if either of them pull any crap she can handle herself.

 **Ultear:** Thank you Gray!

 **Gray:** Whatever, I’m out of here.

 **Millianna:** Kagura can handle herself just as well as that Ultear woman supposedly can, so we’ve no need to worry!

 **Risley:** Well I’m sure she at least handles Jellal very well.

 **Gray:** I’m back in.

 **Risley:** Jokes aside, Kagura’s definitely got this covered, though isn’t there an issue with the long distance aspect?

 **Millianna:** Yeah, Ultear’s going to have more time with Jellal than Kagura will.

 **Lucy:** Uh… not to be rude, but isn’t there also the problem of Ultear becoming a really old woman?

 **Gray:** I guess this list is set before then.

 **Lucy:** But-

 **Gray:** But for the sake of our own sanity perhaps we should just leave it alone?

 **Lucy:** Yeah, I can’t argue with that.


	97. Chapter 97

**FT Characters! Jellal is dating Meredy and Angel! How do you react?**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Ultear:** But why would he have to date another girl when Meredy is so amazing?

 **Jellal:** It was Meredy’s idea; she wanted Angel to ‘join the party’ as it were. After all, they’re dating each other too right?

 **Ultear:** I suppose…

 **Cobra:** Tch, whatever, I don’t care either way. Let her waste her time with that loser either way. Though I guess the other one’s alright…

 **Racer:** Who are you referring to with ‘loser’ and ‘other one?’

 **Cobra:** I’ll give you a hint; the loser has a weird colour for hair and it’s very bright.

 **Racer:** That does _not_ narrow things done.

 **Cobra:** Wow you’re dense, okay; the loser is commonly seen with a fixed personality, almost like an aesthetic but has their turn around moments when they seem different.

 **Racer:** …It’s fine, I didn’t really want to know anyway.

 **Cobra:** Oh for the love of- Jellal’s the idiot okay! And I made it obvious too!

 **Racer:** No you didn’t! If you wanted it to be obvious you would have said that the loser commonly angsts over Erza!

 **Cobra:** Yeah but where’s the fun in that?

 **Racer:** …I hate you.

 **Hot Eye:** Oh come on, one of us should be happy for them all at least! Our beloved comrades have found happiness in each other, “oh yeah!”

 **Racer:** …I guess I’m happy for Angel, after the Tower of Heaven we were all pretty messed up. I think it’s… nice she has someone who cares about her now.

 **Cobra:** Yeah… good for her…

 **Angel:** Wow, you guys are pathetic!

 **Cobra & Racer:** WE WERE HAVING A MOMENT!!

 **Ultear:** …Meredy, explain to me how you have the patience to deal with these people.

 **Meredy:** Eh, I just prank them when they get to bad or sensory link them up to Jellal.

 **Ultear:** I never knew you were _that_ evil! Oh I’m so proud!

 **Jellal:** …I feel so loved.

 **Erza:** …Calm down Erza, them breaking up is always a possibility, and a guy you just so happen to like dating someone else is _not_ the end of the world…

 **Meredy:** So Jellal, where are we going to go for dinner later? I know Angel wants some time away from everyone and I’d appreciate the quiet too.

 **Jellal:** We could always dress up and head to a restaurant? It could be passed off as a business meeting that way.

 **Erza:** …Nope, no good! Where’s the strawberry cake?


	98. Chapter 98

**FT Characters! Jellal and Mirajane are going out! Thoughts?**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Wakaba:** …See I want to fight this guy for Mira’s love now, but I’m pretty sure they’d kick my butt.

 **Macao:** Don’t sweat it, they both could.

 **Macao:** And you never really had a chance anyway.

 **Wakaba:** …I will never remember why I call you a friend.

 **Macao:** But-! Oh never mind, I’m too old for this stuff.

 **Makarov:** I’ll say. I am so terribly upset that my dearest Mirajane has run off with some hooligan. Oh the pain!

 **Macao:** …You’re either serious or mocking me and I’m not sure which option I like least.

 **Erza:** …

 **Erza:** I will not challenge Mira to a fight to the death. She is my comrade and I am happy she has found somebody for the time being, even if that somebody happens to be… No, can’t do it. Mira, as soon as you and Jellal start having troubles I’m going to come down to sweep him off his feet!

 **Mirajane:** Duly noted.

 **Lucy:** I am so happy for Mirajane! I wonder if this relationship with Jellal will last-

 **Erza:** …

 **Lucy:** Ignore me I’m talking nonsense?

 **Mirajane:** Nice save there Lucy.

 **Lucy:** Why did I ever want to join this guild again?

 **Natsu:** I guess you’re just as crazy as the rest of us!

 **Lucy:** Yeah that makes sense…

 **Mirajane:** Aww you two are so adorable I could just die! I will get you together, even if it’s the last thing I do!

 **Natsu:** Huh? Why the heck would you wanna do that?

 **Lucy:** Crud, I was hoping she’d be too preoccupied with having a boyfriend to bother with this.

 **Mirajane:** And that’s not all, I feel a little bad for stealing Erza’s guy…

 **Erza:** Way to rub salt in the wound.

 **Mirajane:** …that I’m going to set her up with Gray! You’ll both make such cute couples!

 **Erza:** Alright Lucy, you’re the one with the most experience, how screwed are we?

 **Lucy:** Well, take a look.

[Evil Mirajane smile!]

 **Erza:** Oh we are so, totally screwed.


	99. Chapter 99

**Crime Sorcière! Midnight’s been a girl all along!**

(As requested by negainohoshi)

 

 **Jellal:** …What.

 **Meredy:** Midnight’s been a girl this whole time, that’s what. Apparently.

 **Jellal:** Yeah I got that. But just… what.

 **Meredy:** Okay… uh Midnight, I think you just broke Jellal!

 **Racer:** But his- um, her name’s ‘Macbeth!’ That’s definitely not a name I’d give to a girl!

 **Midnight:** Well obviously my father was not you.

 **Racer:** …This is all just one big nightmare. Right?

 **Angel:** Wrong. I wonder if she’ll join Meredy and me on girl’s night…?

 **Racer:** I don’t think so. She’s more of a ‘quiet, likely plotting to murder you’ type.

 **Midnight:** Actually I just want everybody to leave me alone so I can go to sleep.

 **Racer:** …Wow. I’ve had such a wrong impression of you all this time.

 **Midnight:** I don’t see why you did. Have I ever given you such an impression?

 **Racer:** Well no, but you do look kind of creepy.

 **Midnight:** Who me? [‘innocent’ look]

 **Racer:** …Okay then, hoping to change the subject as quickly as possible; Angel, you get a girl’s night?

 **Angel:** Of course, just like you have boy’s night.

 **Cobra:** We do? That’s news to me!

 **Jellal:** Well obviously we have them; it’s when we sit around feeling repentant for our sins and angst over the people we love.

 **Cobra:** …That is A: incredibly pathetic and B: not fun at all.

 **Jellal:** Yeah well Hot Eye enjoys them.

 **Hot Eye:** Though it’s not so much ‘angst’ but think about my little brother. I miss him…

 **Wally:** [sneezes] If only I could stop all of this random sneezing!

 **Cobra:** Any respect, or at least tolerance, I had for you? Yeah, that’s all gone now.

 **Midnight:** Agreed; that is rather lame.

 **Cobra:** Holy- Where did you-?

 **Cobra:** Hey guys? When did Midnight get hot?

 **Racer:** Rather you than me buddy.

 **Meredy:** So why was Midnight hiding as a boy anyway?

 **Angel:** Brain probably had everything to do with it. I doubt he was pleased with a female to continue his legacy.

 **Cobra:** He likely used a spell he found with his Archive magic to hide her more feminine… bits.

 **Angel:** ‘Bits?’ Really Cobra?

 **Cobra:** Look, anything else gets weird okay?!

 **Midnight:** Wuss.

 **Cobra:** …Am not.

 **Angel:** You’re not kidding anyone, you’re totally a wuss.

 **Cobra:** Am not!

 **Midnight:** Oh really? Well… [thinking]

 **Cobra:** …Well that’s just not fair.


	100. Chapter 100

**FT Characters discover ‘Lisanna is evil and Lucy leaves the guild’ fanfics!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Natsu:** OKAY WHO’S BEEN WRITING THESE?! I’LL KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO ALL OF THEM!!

 **Levy:** I want to help.

 **Natsu:** Levy?!

 **Levy:** They seem to think I would turn so easily against my best friend, they clearly have no understanding of my character and as a reader this greatly upsets me.

 **Natsu:** Okay then, I asked to be polite but as long as you feel like being violent I’m not gonna stop you.

 **Mirajane:** WHO THE HELL MAKES MY SISTER OUT TO BE SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON??!

 **Elfman:** Honestly she’s a precious cinnamon roll.

 **Lisanna:** I-I just can’t believe they’d do this, what have I done to-?

[Strauss hugs!]

 **Lisanna:** T-thanks.

 **Lucy:** She’s probably one of my best friends at this point! I don’t understand these…

 **Natsu:** Isn’t everyone your best friend?

 **Lucy:** And that’s why nobody should be hated on!

 **Sting:** I’m not sure about these, I can’t believe Natsu-san would ever be so cruel to a friend and he’s not _that_ dim…

 **Sting:** I-is this all for the purpose of shipping me and Lucy together!?

 **Rogue:** And me? Apparently, she “is my light”… I’m pretty sure I’ve already said that’s _you_ Sting.

 **Sting:** And it’s totally not shippy at all!

 **Gajeel:** All that sissy stuff about feelings aside, how the hell do they figure leaving the guild gives her the chance to become a dragon slayer? That just makes no sense!

 **Natsu:** Yeah and there’s no way _Acnologia_ would train her!

 **Lisanna:** But if that’s what people want to write, shouldn’t we respect it?

 **Natsu:** You’re okay with these?!

 **Lisanna:** Well no, but I can’t feel too angry if that’s what people want.

 **Lisanna:** Though I’m a little mad they have a problem with me, I don’t think I’ve really done anything…

 **Lucy:** Just ignore them.

 **Gajeel:** Blondie’s right, it can’t exactly hurt you.

 **Natsu:** Well I can’t ignore them! Nobody gets away with hurting my comrades!

 **Elfman:** Uh, Natsu, that’s pretty manly and all, but there aren’t any cameras, we’re off screen.

 **Lucy:** Yeah we’re not being filmed right now.

 **Natsu:** I don’t have to be acting my part to care about my friends!

 **Lucy:** True, but it’ll help you play your part better next episode.

 **Natsu:** But those authors-!

 **Lisanna:** Aren’t doing anything too horrible. Leave it.

 **Mirajane:** I still want to hit them too!

 **Elfman:** …Are we brave enough to try and stop her?

 **Natsu:** No. No we are not.


	101. Chapter 101

**Gray and Lyon discover Ultear and Natsu are shipped!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Gray:** Oh my God! But- Just- Why?!

 **Lyon:** Natsu’s shipped with this woman called Ultear?

 **Gray:** You’re allowed to know her for this list you know.

 **Lyon:** Well that helps things.

 **Gray:** I just can’t believe they’d do this! What was their only moment? When she pulled him out of a shadow, when he scolded her for wanting to try and kill Rogue?

 **Lyon:** Of course it may just be the rule that everyone has to be shipped with the main character?

 **Gray:** Don’t even go there man. It gets dark.

 **Lyon:** You mean you thought-

 **Gray:** Shut up!

 **Lyon:** …

 **Gray:** …

 **Lyon:** But seriously where does this ship come from?

 **Gray:** Honestly I just think all of our fans are crazy at this point.

 **Lyon:** But to the point of shipping Ultear and Natsu?

 **Gray:** Well obviously.

 **Lyon:** Okay that’s a point in your favour.

 **Lyon:** And no, before you ask, I’m not saying that again for you to record.

 **Gray:** …Damn.

 **Lyon:** You know this ship could definitely be considered interesting.

 **Gray:** Do _not_ tell me you’re supporting this!

 **Lyon:** Not at all, but there could be a lot of potential in it. Ultear could probably ‘repent for her misdeeds’ by dating the most self-righteous, selfless character in the series.

 **Gray:** It’s Natsu.

 **Lyon:** Which is my point; it could do her a lot of good.

 **Gray:** It’s Natsu!

 **Lyon:** And she really isn’t bad looking, and she’d definitely get him used to having a girlfriend should they ever break up and he decides to go for another woman.

 **Gray:** It’s _Natsu_!

 **Lyon:** And she’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself from what I hear!

 **Gray:** _NATSU_!!

 **Lyon:** You’re pretty hung up on Natsu aren’t you?

 **Gray:** …Did you have to phrase it that way?

 **Lyon:** Apparently to get through to you? Yes, yes I did.

 **Gray:** I don’t have to be very happy about this. I like Ultear, I don’t like Natsu; it’s that simple.

 **Lyon:** Well they aren’t even together; all we learnt is that some people ship them.

 **Gray:** I still don’t get why though…

 **Lyon:** Fans are crazy; the majority likes you after all.

 **Gray:** Excuse you I’m awesome.

 **Lyon:** Pfft!

 **Gray:** …You trying to start something?

 **Lyon:** Wow, and you call Natsu dumb?

[Lyon and Gray violence!]

 **Natsu:** …

 **Ultear:** …

 **Ultear:** And the moral is to never let these to talk to each other alone with one another. There will be violence.

 **Natsu:** Or make outs.

 **Ultear:** …What.

 **Natsu:** Nothing.

 **Ultear:** Why would you say that! …Oh, I get it. The author made you say it didn’t she?

 **Natsu:** I don’t want to her write a list of all the ways my head looks like a stupid potato.

 **Ultear:** Your head is fine, let it go.

 **Natsu:** I still don’t trust her.

 **Ultear:** …Probably wise.


	102. Chapter 102

**FT Characters! Gajeel and Levy are having a baby! Reactions?**

(As requested by theotakusideoftheforce)

 

 **Lucy:** OH MY GOD LEVY CONGRATULATIONS!!

 **Levy:** Thank you Lu-chan!

 **Lucy:** You’ll let me in on all the details right?!

 **Levy:** Of course I will!

 **Erza:** I’m so excited for you two, a baby will be wonderful!

 **Natsu:** …Oh good, I get to be the first to complain about another piece of Gajeel coming into the world.

 **Erza:** Don’t spoil the mood Natsu; this _will_ be a happy list.

 **Makarov:** Oh how wonderful, I’m going to be a grandfather!

 **Laxus:** Uh, hello?

 **Makarov:** I meant from one of my _beloved_ children.

 **Laxus:** I take your point.

 **Gajeel:** Actually old man, we refer to you as a grandfather so this would technically make you “great-grandpa.”

 **Makarov:** …Well you didn’t have to go and make me feel so old about it.

 **Gajeel:** But-

 **Makarov:** Honestly, haven’t you already wounded me enough you brat?

 **Gajeel:** …I give up; I can’t even fake being nice.

 **Natsu:** SEE?! This kid is _bad_ news!

 **Erza:** Shut _up_ Natsu!

 **Bisca:** Hey Al? Do we still have Asuka’s old things from when she was younger?

 **Alzack:** We should do; _I_ didn’t throw them away.

 **Bisca:** Oh good. Then we can help these two if they need it; it’ll definitely save them some money.

 **Alzack:** And we could give them some tips too!

 **Bisca:** And offer to babysit when they need a night out!

 **Levy:** Thanks you two!

 **Gajeel:** If they want another kid so badly, why don’t they just have their own?

 **Mirajane:** While I’m incredibly glad these two have done this together, I have to wonder how it happened.

 **Jet:** W-what are you talking about Mira?

 **Droy:** Y-yeah! Levy wouldn’t do anything weird.

 **Jet:** Except have a child with Gajeel.

 **Droy:** Levy wouldn’t do anything weird except have a child with Gajeel.

 **Mirajane:** Oh I was just wondering if this happened through an off screen relationship or via one night stand.

 **Jet:** …

 **Droy:** …

 **Jet:** Which idea do we find more horrifying?

 **Droy:** Tough question.

 **Erza:** Either way Mira, Gajeel will certainly take responsibility.

 **Mirajane:** Oh yes, he most definitely will.

 **Gajeel:** …They’re smiling but they’re so completely terrifying.

 **Laxus:** And this would be your official welcome to the guild.

 **Gajeel:** …Oh goodie.


	103. Chapter 103

**Sting and Minerva are dating! Thoughts?**

(As requested by anon, anon and anon)

 

 

 **Yukino:** I’m so glad for them both! I heard that Sting-sama carried her at the battle against Tartaros, so they definitely have their shippy moments!

 **Rogue:** Indeed. And I’m very glad that Sting’s found someone he likes. Despite appearances he’s terrible with women.

 **Yukino:** Seriously?!

 **Rogue:** Oh yeah.

 **Orga:** Wait a second. He’s _not_ gay for Rogue?!

 **Rufus:** Now now Orga, let’s take a step back before yu have an angry Dragon Slayer at your heels.

 **Rufus:** And of course there’s Milady too…

 **Sting & Minerva:** What are you two talking about?

 **Rufus & Orga:** Nothing!

 **Sting:** …

 **Minerva:** …I am suspicious.

 **Natsu:** Eh whatever, good for you Sting.

 **Sting:** Thank you Natsu-san!

 **Natsu:** H-hey! I don’t care!

 **Sting:** _Sure_ you don’t.

 **Erza:** And of course I’m very pleased for Minerva! She shouldn’t every stray from the light again.

 **Natsu:** …You do realize that was a _terrible_ joke right?

 **Sting:** Yeah; if anything, _I’d_ be the clingy one!

 **Natsu:** Admitting something are we now Sting?

 **Sting:** NO!

 **Minerva:** Oh hush you two, she likely didn’t think about what she said.

 **Minerva:** And thank you by the way Erza.

 **Erza:** No problem! I’m always happy to see someone look for a brighter future!

 **Minerva:** Please stop now.

 **Erza:** Yeah okay.

 **Dobengal:** I am content for Master Sting.

 **Orga:** Yeah, and I bet her Ladyship’s pleased with him too.

 **Rufus:** Oh how silly you are Orga. There’s not a chance that Sting is any sort of ‘Master’ when it comes to this relationship.

 **Rogue:** I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Sting can assert his dominance when he needs to.

 **Rufus:** You speak from experience I take it?

 **Rogue:** Well of course.

 **Orga:** Ah-!

 **Minerva:** Don’t start anything fool. He’s clearly talking about when Sting shot a hold through my father’s stomach.

 **Rogue:** Obviously. What did you think I was referring to?

 **Rufus & Orga:** Nothing.

 **Rogue:** …

 **Minerva:** …

 **Yukino:** Hey, wasn’t that when Lady Minerva ‘rescued’ Lector? Do we count that as a shippy moment seeing as she did that for him or no?

 **Minerva:** …Can we say yes and avoid any further details?

 **Yukino:** I am perfectly okay with that.


	104. Chapter 104

**FT Characters! Rogue and Lucy are dating!**

(As requested by Violetfairy12 and xX KittyKatz Xx)

 

 **Natsu:** I’M GOING TO BEAT HIM TO A BLOODY PULP THAT JERK!!

 **Sting:** Hey now, shouldn’t you respect your comrade’s wishes and leave her boyfriend untouched.

 **Natsu:** BUT HE TURNS EVIL AND TRIED TO KILL HER!

 **Sting:** In which case it can be dealt with then, we only just heard that they’re dating, if something goes wrong later on, I don’t think Lucy looks like the kind of girl who’ll just take it lying down.

 **Natsu:** BUT-!

 **Sting:** _Natsu_.

 **Natsu:** …Fine. But just for the record Lucy I think you have a terrible taste in men.

 **Lucy:** Oh no, how will I ever move on from such an awful comment.

 **Natsu:** …Well you don’t have to be so sarcastic.

 **Sting:** I guess she must be ‘his light’ because otherwise we should all be seriously worried about people coming to murder us.

 **Rogue:** I actually said that was you but-

 **Sting:** But that really isn’t shippy at all and I am far too busy with other things to stop you from going on a murder spree.

 **Erza:** Rogue would do that?

 **Sting:** Look he’s a pretty dark guy, that’s all I’m saying.

 **Erza:** …I should watch over these two…

 **Lucy:** Nah we’ll be fine.

 **Erza:** But Sting just said-

 **Lucy:** Sting chose Natsu for his role model.

 **Erza:** Point taken.

 **Cana:** Alright! Lucy finally got herself a boyfriend!

 **Mirajane:** It’s so cute!

 **Cana:** That guy should definitely be a bit more outgoing when Lucy’s done with him!

 **Mirajane:** …Should we feel bad about our enthusiasm for changing the comfortable nature of someone?

 **Cana:** …

 **Mirajane:** …

 **Cana:** Mirajane?

 **Mirajane:** Just kidding!

 **Rogue:** …

 **Lucy:** It’s fine, they’re just joking.

 **Rogue:** I’m not entirely sure that’s true.

 **Lucy:** Well no it probably isn’t but I was trying to help.

 **Rogue:** Should I be concerned?

 **Lucy:** Well those two look they’re meddling so, honestly? Yes.


	105. Chapter 105

**Natsu has died! Your tears?**

(As requested by Tgamering)

 

 **Lucy:** NO! No! No no no no no no no no no!

 **Lucy:** Natsu can’t be dead! Just- no!

 **Gajeel:** I’m picking up a vibe of negativity.

 **Lucy:** …

 **Gajeel:** Too soon?

 **Laxus:** I’m actually a little surprised I have to admit. I thought Natsu was the kind of guy who would live for far longer than you could stand him.

 **Gajeel:** So it was about time the kicked the bucket?

 **Laxus:** Your words not mine. Either that or he’d be killed in a fight with the amount of ridiculously strong opponents he challenged…

 **Gajeel:** …

 **Laxus:** …

 **Gajeel:** Wow. I feel kind of jealous of the guy who did him in. I really wanted to be the one to kill Natsu.

 **Levy:** You called him Natsu, not Salamander… Oh Gajeel you _do_ care! He’d be so happy…

 **Laxus:** Yeah, from laughing his ass of.

 **Gajeel:** SHUT UP!! I didn’t care about the guy when he was breathing and I don’t care about him now either!

 **Pantherlily:** You could stand to show a little compassion, we’re all upset here, nobody’s gonna judge you.

 **Laxus:** I will.

 **Pantherlily:** It _is_ okay to cry Gajeel, we all are.

 **Laxus:** I’m not.

 **Pantherlily:** Just be quiet. Please Laxus?

 **Gray:** I-I can’t believe this, he’s dead. As in actually dead?!

 **Erza:** So it would seem.

 **Gray:** Erza… how are you not crying? Your face looks perfectly dry!

 **Erza:** I can’t cry from one eye and it helps to have a long fringe sometimes.

 **Gray:** But I don’t see how that would- Your hair looks different.

 **Erza:** You’re imagining things.

 **Gray:** No I’m not. You changed which side of your face was covered by your hair!

 **Erza:** I just can’t completely accept the fact that he’s gone okay?!

 **Gray:** …

 **Ultear:** Are you sure he’s dead? As in really _really_ dead?

 **Makarov:** Pretty sure, and it saddens me greatly.

 **Ultear:** Did you try poking him? That sometimes works when people think you’re out of the picture.

 **Gray:** I don’t think poking him is gonna work Ultear…

 **Ultear:** It might. It’s how people are made to remember that I’m not dead.

 **Gray:** But I don’t see how this applies to- Hey stop poking me!

 **Ultear:** See? It helps.

 **Gray:** I already know you’re alive; I was the one who reminded everybody!

 **Ultear:** And now they remember. Because of poking.

 **Gray:** But-

 **Makarov:** It might be a wise decision Gray, to ignore this one.

 **Gray:** Yeah I guess so…

 **Makarov:** Nothing’s going to be the same without Natsu; he brought a spark of life to the guild.

 **Laxus:** Along with trying to burn it down to the ground.

 **Makarov:** …I will never remember why I put up with you.

 **Zeref:** M-my dear little brother? I- I shall have to bring him back again.

 **Lucy:** You can do that?

 **Zeref:** Well yeah, I managed to do it once already so it should be a little easier this time to resurrect him again.

 **Lucy:** DO IT!

 **Erza:** Lucy that isn’t a very wise decision-

 **Makarov:** It could have incredibly terrible repercussions and-

 **Lucy:** And what?! Wendy and Lisanna are balled up in the corner crying and Elfman’s shedding his manly tears! Mira’s destroying everything in an angry Satan Soul rampage! Juvia’s flooding everywhere and it’s a downpour over Magnolia! Not one person has dry eyes-

 **Laxus:** Uh…

 **Gajeel:** Yeah…

 **Lucy:** Shut it! And it seems like we’re never going to be able to stop crying!! If someone can bring Natsu back then I don’t care about consequences, I want them to fucking do it!!

 **Erza:** …

 **Makarov:** …

 **Erza:** Well I don’t even want to _try_ and deny I want the same thing at this point.

 **Makarov:** This may turn out badly later, but for once… Damn it I’m with Zeref.

 **Ultear:** …I want a redo aswell.


	106. Chapter 106

**Mirajane and Laxus are engaged! Your reactions?**

(As requested by skywalkerskylarwalker)

 

 **Bickslow:** Awesome! Where’s the champagne and where’s Cana?!

 **Evergreen:** You know you’re a total lightweight right Bickslow?

 **Bickslow:** Don’t care!

 **Evergreen:** Don’t come to me again when you have a hangover the size of the planet.

 **Bickslow:** Aww Ever, I know you love me~

 **Evergreen:** Oh shut up you.

 **Freed:** [teary eyes] I am so pleased for you Laxus, congratulations.

 **Bickslow:** You’re meant to cry _at_ weddings man, not _before_ them.

 **Evergreen:** I don’t think _that’s_ why he’s crying Bickslow.

 **Bickslow:** But why else would he be- _Oh_.

 **Freed:** So very very happy…

 **Bickslow:** I don’t know if we should hug him or…

 **Evergreen:** Perhaps it might be best to leave him alone for now and take him out for ice cream later?

 **Erza:** C-congratulations Mirajane, I never realized that you and Laxus were so close.

 **Cana:** Well it was an off screen relationship… But what was the stutter for?

 **Erza:** I don’t know what you’re talking about.

 **Cana:** But you stuttered! Are you jealous because Mira’s getting married first?

 **Erza:** No I’m not, you’re misunderstanding things.

 **Cana:** Then please enlighten me?

 **Erza:** I see no reason why I should have to explain something I didn’t do.

 **Cana:** Wow, you’re really bad at this.

 **Erza:** Nobody’s perfect.

 **Ichiya:** Not true my honey.

 **Erza:** [shrieks] Where did you come from!?

 **Erza:** Wait don’t answer that I don’t want to know!

 **Ichiya:** Well you see-

 **Erza:** NO!

[Ichiya has suddenly gone flying through the air!]

 **Ichiya:** MEEEEEEEEEEN!!

 **Cana:** Okay I understand why you did that, that guy is creepy.

 **Erza:** Yes.

 **Cana:** But it doesn’t mean I don’t still want an explanation on that stutter.

 **Erza:** …Dammit.

 **Lucy:** Do you think I could help with the plans for the wedding Mira?

 **Lisanna:** And me?

 **Elfman:** And me?

 **Lisanna:** Um, big brother?

 **Elfman:** Planning weddings… are manly!

 **Lisanna:** Uh sure…

 **Lucy:** It should be a lot of fun to plan! Though I wonder what both Laxus and Mira would enjoy…

 **Lisanna:** Maybe we could do a combined theme?

 **Elfman:** Nah, just do what Mira wants. If it’s something that Laxus doesn’t like I’m pretty sure she’ll get him to put up with it.

 **Lucy:** Doesn’t that seem a little unfair to Laxus?

 **Lisanna:** Maybe a little, but big sis wouldn’t really make Laxus do anything he _really_ didn’t want to.

 **Elfman:** Yeah, I’m pretty sure Laxus doesn’t care too much about the wedding itself anyway.

 **Lucy:** Good point.

 **Makarov:** Well, I’m certainly surprised these two would be together, and I’m not entirely sure why Mirajane would hide any relationship of hers.

 **Makarov:** But if Mira can tolerate that bonehead grandson of mine and not go demon on the guild then I suppose I approve.

 **Makarov:** So I hope you two will enjoy your married life together, and I hope to see some nice pictures of your honeymoon, for the memories.

 **Elfman:** You aren’t going to be seeing any pictures of my sister naked.

 **Makarov:** …But how did you know?


	107. Chapter 107

**Zeref and Natsu are brothers! Your reactions FT Characters?**

(As requested by Daygon Yuuki and PalaDude234)

 

 **Wendy:** N-Natsu’s Zeref’s little brother? But how?! Zeref is meant to be hundreds of years old!

 **Carla:** I guess some strange magic must have been put in play. This is definitely peculiar.

 **Wendy:** But aren’t brothers supposed to be alike? Natsu’s nothing like Zeref!

 **Carla:** Well I can think of a few-

 **Wendy:** Nothing!

 **Evergreen:** But Natsu didn’t seem to remember his older brother when he saved us on Tenrou Island… what exactly could’ve happened to make him forget his own sibling!?

 **Elfman:** Well… reading through the plot here, it seems Natsu’s been kind of… He’s been dead.

 **Evergreen:** Dead?

 **Elfman:** Yeah.

 **Evergreen:** …I need to go and lie down for a while.

 **Elfman:** Panicking breaks can be pretty manly I guess.

 **Evergreen:** I’m not a-

 **Elfman:** I meant for me. I feel faint.

 **Evergreen:** …Well I suppose I can’t fault you for that.

 **Mavis:** This is quite a surprise; I never knew Zeref had a brother… And he’s a member of the guild? That’s amazing!

 **Makarov:** First master, you are aware that Zeref is evil aren’t you? This could potentially be a bad thing.

 **Mavis:** I-I know b-but, why would you _say_ that!?

 **Makarov:** Oh no first master, please don’t cry!

 **Mavis:** I-I’m not crying! I’m not!

 **Gray:** I don’t believe it… _Natsu’s_ the brother of the most evil wizard of all time? But idiocy aside, he’s one of the most good hearted people I know!

 **Erza:** You don’t always have to be like your sibling. Kagura and Simon aren’t really alike…

 **Gray:** There isn’t even a physical resemblance!

 **Erza:** One could take after the father and the other the mother.

 **Gray:** But-!

 **Erza:** But.

 **Gray:** Look just cut that out okay, I’m trying to rant here!

 **Erza:** But they were all arguments that were incredibly bad. Think of something more creative and I’ll let you rant as much as you like.

 **Gray:** …How are you not freaking out about this anyway?

 **Erza:** Trade secret.

 **Gray:** …There magic isn’t at all similar?

 **Erza:** Irrelevant.

 **Lucy:** Well… this doesn’t have to change anything right? Natsu’s still Natsu.

 **Wendy:** I suppose…

 **Lucy:** The only difference is that Zeref happens to be in charge of Arbalez…

 **Wendy:** The country that we just trespassed in and beat up one of their members…

 **Lucy:** …Oops?


	108. Chapter 108

**Fairy Tail and Bleach crossover**

(As requested by ultramayuko19870, anon and ukitakedragneel) …I tried okay?)

 

**_Gray and Yoruichi:_ **

**Yoruichi:** Are you fast?

 **Gray:** Not anywhere up to your level.

 **Yoruichi:** Okay… random character quirks… Do you like randomly taking off your clothes?

 **Gray:** …

 **Yoruichi:** Ah-hah!

 **Gray:** I-I don’t _like_ it!

 **Yoruichi:** But taking off your clothes in front of other people is so fun right?

 **Yoruichi:** The looks on their faces are priceless!

 **Gray:** Hey I don’t do it on purpose!

 **Yoruichi:** Really? Not even to impress any girls with your awesome naked body?

 **Gray:** NO!

 **Yoruichi:** Well you’re no fun.

 

**_Rogue and Kyoraku:_ **

**Rogue:** So I heard you also have shadow powers.

 **Kyoraku:** Yeah, my Zanpakuto lets me rise out from a shadow and stab my opponents in the back.

 **Rogue:** And your ‘Zanpakuto’ is your sword?

 **Kyoraku:** Yeah well technically I have two; I’m kind of special that way. Only one other guy’s got a dual Zanpakuto.

 **Rogue:** I’m kind of special also, being a Dragon Slayer but there are a few others too.

 **Kyoraku:** We should hang out sometime, I think it’d be pretty nice to compare more, and your ‘magic’ is interesting…

 **Rogue:** I’m not really a people person.

 **Kyoraku:** Aww well that’s too bad, we could’ve had some fun drinking.

 **Rogue:** I don’t really drink.

 **Kyoraku:** Shame, I know some great drinking games.

 **Rogue:** No thank you. Something tells me your games are… different.

 **Kyoraku:** …Now whatever would you mean by that?

 

**_Lyon and Toshiro:_ **

**Toshiro:** An ice user? I guess we have that in common.

 **Lyon:** Yes and I aim to be the strongest ice wizard around.

 **Toshiro:** I already _am_ the strongest ice wielder in Soul Society.

 **Lyon:** Someone as small as you? That is quite surprising…

 **Toshiro:** SHUT UP! YOU DON’T HAVE TO BRING MY HEIGHT INTO IT!

 **Lyon:** If you had issues with it you should have just said.

 **Toshiro:** …Well in that case, I also have issues with my white hair and strange eyes, they push people away. And I guess I have a pretty cold nature…

 **Lyon:** I also have white hair and my eyes are pitch black, and as for personality I once ordered an entire village to be destroyed; keep trying.

 **Toshiro:** …Wow. Way to ruin a character quirk.

 

**_Gildarts and Kenpachi:_ **

**Gildarts:** So I hear you’re a father too? Isn’t having a daughter just the best?!

 **Kenpachi:** Eh whatever, it’s nothing special.

 **Kenpachi:** I found mine in a blood bath after I presumably slaughtered a bunch of people and named her after the only woman I ever admired who was also a pretty violent lady and killed a lot of stuff. Your relationship anything like that?

 **Gildarts:** …No-! What the-? NO!

 **Kenpachi:** That stuff’s boring anyway, wanna fight?

 **Gildarts:** …I _cannot_ let you run into Natsu.

 

**_Erza and Unohana:_ **

**Erza:** Well I don’t see why we were matched up.

 **Unohana:** Yes, it is rather surprising.

 **Erza:** I mean, it’s not as if we have anything in common.

 **Unohana:** True, it’s not as if, despite my appearance, I inexplicably terrify people.

 **Erza:** And I’m sure it wouldn’t be because of how good we are with a blade.

 **Unohana:** Jokes aside, I’d like to know how that ‘requip’ technique of yours works. It’s quite boring being deader than most dead people.

 **Erza:** Magic exclusive I’m afraid.

 **Unohana:** Shame… it would’ve been nice to have something like that ‘Second Origin’ too, my final form of power was a whole lot of goo.

 **Erza:** Goo?

 **Unohana:** It’s exactly how it sounds, worst Bankai ever.

 

**_Mirajane and Yumichika:_ **

**Yumichika:** Well I’m pleased we were put together, you are _incredibly_ beautiful. Almost as much as me.

 **Mirajane:** Thanks for the compliment; it must take talent to praise someone _and_ yourself at the same time.

 **Yumichika:** Yes, I’ve gotten rather good at it over the years.

 **Mirajane:** And of course you have had so many of them, in death you have eternal beauty even if nobody ever gets to see it.

 **Yumichika:** …That seemed like it was both a compliment and an insult at the same time. That should also take quite a bit of… talent.

 **Mirajane:** It’s a gift. But I forgot to mention, I’m surprised to see you managed to keep such good lucks while in a squad of sweaty men. And you smell nice too.

 **Yumichika:** …You do not insult my squad, okay? I’ll get angry if you do.

 **Mirajane:** If that’s a challenge then I’m ready to give you a fight. It’s not as if we both have dark, at one point hidden and slightly disturbing powers.

 **Yumichika:** Yes, nothing like that at all.

 

**_Jellal and Shuhei:_ **

**Shuhei:** Cool tattoo.

 **Jellal:** …Thanks, but it’s more of a birthmark…

 **Shuhei:** Hey? Are you okay, you seem kinda weird…?

 **Jellal:** Oh it’s nothing, it’s just… you also have a very interesting face tattoo.

 **Shuhei:** Oh thanks, I got it to copy the hero that saved my life from a monster when I was young.

 **Jellal:** When I was young I was possessed by what I thought to be an evil ghost and now I’m stuck in a world of angst.

 **Shuhei:** Sorry to hear that, hey weird though; isn’t having a crush on someone just the worst? They always tease you about stuff and never notice your feelings and you end up getting embarrassingly naked in front of them.

 **Jellal:** The woman I’m in love with almost kissed me until I pushed her away, now I travel round the continent defeating evil guilds of wizards while she is forever away from me and I receive no affection from anybody like that; all on account of me being an idiot. Hence the world of angst.

 **Shuhei:** …Do you wanna go get something to drink? I know a great place to cry into your alcohol.

 **Jellal:** Yes please, I feel that’s appropriate.

 

**_Cana and Rangiku:_ **

**Cana:** You like embarrassing people in inappropriate ways?

 **Rangiku:** Oh yes! Getting Izuru and Shuhei down to their underwear is so fun, the looks on their faces is funny.

 **Cana:** And groping my comrade’s chest always gives her the best look on her face!

 **Rangiku:** Ooh that _is_ good, I wonder if I should try that more with the WSRA…? I bet the looks on their faces would be priceless!

 **Cana:** We should talk more over alcohol! There’s this great story…

 **Rangiku:** Oh I’m interested! I’m buying!

 **Cana:** …You’ll regret that.

 

**_Risley and Marechiyo:_ **

**Marechiyo:** So because she’s obviously jealous of how attractive and wealthy I am, Captain Soifon treats me horribly.

 **Risley:** Well that’s not right, you’re fast right? Can’t you do something with that?

 **Marechiyo:** She’s faster… I’m also pretty sure she wants me dead, just because I’m so much taller and she’s really short. But I’m always standing loyally behind her!

 **Risley:** Wait a second; are those crisps you’re eating?

 **Marechiyo:** Yeah! Do you want some?

 **Risley:** No thanks… You say you’re standing loyally behind her all the time? And you’re so much taller than her?

 **Marechiyo:** Yeah!

 **Risley:** …I understand your captain so much now.

 

**_Natsu and Ichigo:_ **

**Ichigo:** Hey.

 **Natsu:** Hey.

 **Ichigo:** I’m the protagonist of my series with weird orange hair.

 **Natsu:** Mine’s pink.

 **Ichigo:** I have all this power that just keeps becoming kinda useless in the next arc as the enemies get stronger.

 **Natsu:** Same. And I may in fact turn out to be evil, or a sort of enemy that isn’t evil but would be looked at as a threat.

 **Ichigo:** And I have weird hollow powers inside of me that is definitely a kind of threat and should be treated as an enemy even though he’s really my sword!

 **Ichigo:** I also seem to have no interest in women even though occasionally I’ll blush and get flustered when they do something semi inappropriate.

 **Natsu:** Me too, though I did see my best friend naked once. That didn’t bother me too much…

 **Ichigo:** And I was once on a beach surrounded by ladies in bikinis and didn’t care much for it.

 **Natsu:** Wow that’s pretty awesome!

 **Ichigo:** Yeah, we should try and hang out sometime!

 **Natsu:** Definitely!

[Brotp feels are in the air]

 **Natsu:** So… wanna fight?

 **Ichigo:** Nah, I don’t really enjoy fighting that much.

 **Natsu:** …You could’ve been so awesome.


	109. Chapter 109

**Things Erza might say when she found out Jellal and Ultear were dating!**

(As requested by anon)

 

1)   W-well I’m very happy for you of course! I’m glad you’ve both found someone you like that way.

 

2)   Ultear… if you hurt him, I won’t hesitate to snatch him away from you!

 

3)   …Natsu, would you like to spar?

 

4)   Mirajane, would _you_ like to spar?

 

5)   Oh would you look at the time! I have to be going! I have uh, something I need to do at home.

 

6)   [says nothing] [repeatedly punches everything in her way and cuts things]

 

7)   Mirajane! I need cake!

 

8)   Yes it has to be strawberry!

 

9)   What do you _mean_ we’re all out?!

 

10)               Bye everyone! I’m headed to the bakers for a bit!

 

11)               Hello [insert baker’s name here], I need *whispering*…

 

12)               Yes I really want _that_ many.

 

13)               I’m having a bad day.

 

14)               No I don’t want to talk about it.

 

15)               Thank you for the cakes.

 

16)               I wonder what I can do now…?

 

17)               A job! A job would be good.

 

18)               Taking out a dark guild? Nah, Jellal would likely still be too close by…

 

19)               Is it natural to want to strangle someone for having blue hair?

 

20)               Levy? Juvia?

 

21)               And there’s this weird urge to start fights with people with black hair…

 

22)               …No Natsu, even if you put on a wig I know it’s you.

 

23)               I wonder if this is what Juvia said she used to feel like. Everything’s so gloomy now…

 

24)               Wait no Juvia please don’t start crying!

 

25)               GRAY CALM DOWN YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

 

26)               I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE NOT HER BOYFRIEND IT’S CLOSE ENOUGH!

 

27)               …Where did I put my cakes?

 

28)               I’m going to go home now.

 

29)               Lucy? You don’t have to come with me, you don’t live there…

 

30)               Sleepover? All the other girls are coming? …That sounds good.


	110. Chapter 110

**Mira and Erza are about to fight!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Gajeel & Natsu:** I want front row tickets!

 **Gajeel:** No way Salamander! You used to see ‘em spar when they were younger, I should have a chance to see the action up close!

 **Natsu:** No way man, I called it first!

 **Gajeel:** Did not! I need to see Titania and the She-Devil duke it out so I can figure out how to beat them!

 **Natsu:** Wow, you thinking about something? That would be interesting to see.

 **Gajeel:** WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

 **Natsu:** It means that you’re an idiot and I don’t think you can figure out any weaknesses Erza and Mira have.

 **Gajeel:** Well that’s just the pot calling the kettle black.

 **Natsu:** Don’t call me an idiot!

[Gajeel and Natsu violence!]

 **Lisanna:** Don’t they realize they could both have ‘front row’ seats? Nobody else is crazy enough to go near those two when they’re fighting.

 **Gray:** Just ignore them, those fights happen every day, we should focus more on Mirajane and Erza’s…

 **Lisanna:** Good point! I mean, is it even safe for them to do this? Is it allowed?

 **Gray:** The decision for it to be allowed would’ve been the Master’s so… Busty, beautiful girls in revealing outfits or property damage…?

 **Lisanna:** That must have been a tough choice, but if he had a magazine would he really want live action? Or did they threaten him into letting them? They can be pretty scary…

 **Gray:** I think he just wants live action… This fight’s probably gonna last for a while so they could easily work up a sweat…

 **Jellal:** …Meredy I have a sudden urge to stop by Magnolia. It feels incredibly important.

 **Meredy:** Nice try Jellal. But… I kinda want to see their fight too, this could be awesome!

 **Jellal:** I don’t know what you’re talking about; it’s not as if I want to see Erza like that or anything.

 **Meredy:** Wow, I never knew it was possible for someone to be this bad at lying.

 **Cana:** Well this is definitely interesting, time to place your bets people!

 **Lucy:** I think this is horrible; I don’t want either of them to lose!

 **Cana:** Aww come on Lucy! Get into the spirit! Have some fun!

 **Lucy:** But they’re both super strong wizards! They could get seriously hurt!

 **Gray:** Loosen up a little Lucy, it could end in a draw knowing these two and they both walk away with only a bruise or two.

 **Elfman:** Or they could not, while this is very manly big sis or Erza could get hurt.

 **Lisanna:** I don’t think this should happen if someone’s gonna get hurt really badly!

 **Elfman:** Yeah, Satan Souls against powerful armour and weapons; there are gonna be bones broken…

 **Lucy:** …

 **Cana:** …

 **Gray:** …

 **Natsu:** …

 **Gajeel:** …Ok but I still want a front seat view.


	111. Chapter 111

**Zeref taught the Fairy Tail guild’s founders magic!**

(As requested by anon)

 

**Makarov:** …What?

 **Laxus:** The great black wizard taught your dad and pals magic, that’s what.

 **Makarov:** So I can see, but I just need a moment to take this all in…

 **Laxus:** It makes a little bit of sense; I mean the Fairy Law spell he taught the first master is _kinda_ dark. I mean, it’s taking out all of your enemies in one shot, that’s definitely Zeref-y.

 **Mirajane:** I agree, but I don’t think this is particularly harming, just because they were taught by someone, who they didn’t know was evil, that doesn’t mean they used it for bad reasons. None of them were ever evil.

 **Laxus:** Except second master Precht who became Grimoire Heart’s master Hades… And Yuriy may be working with the Spriggan 12 as God Serena…

 **Mirajane:** Please don’t be so negative Laxus, at the time it didn’t do any harm to learn from him.

 **Erza:** I have to agree with Mirajane, the magic wasn’t misused at all, learning from Zeref did nothing bad and there weren’t any particularly bad consequences.

 **Laxus:** Except-

 **Erza:** Be quiet Laxus, we don’t need to hear about the time when master Mavis misused that ‘Rou’ spell!

 **Laxus:** Well I don’t even need to now you’ve already told everybody.

 **Erza:** …Crud.

 **Lucy:** Isn’t this kinda a big deal even if it isn’t ‘particularly bad’? I mean, they met up with Zeref!

 **Gray:** But he didn’t hurt them, I think the only issue here is that our grand spells are from him, which could be seen as a little bad, but otherwise? There isn’t really a problem.

 **Lucy:** I still think it’s something to worry about! We’ve got Zeref and 12 supremely powerful wizards bearing down on us! If he taught Mavis the grand spells like Fairy law we might not be able to use them against him! Cana might not be able to attack them with Fairy Glitter because he’ll likely know the weakness!

 **Gray:** We don’t know that for sure just yet.

 **Lucy:** I just think it would be a smart idea to take it into account…

 **Gray:** That’s probably right, but it’s not like we don’t have our other magic, Zeref didn’t teach you to summon your spirits or tell me how to Ice Make.

 **Lucy:** …So you mean if we lose and die then at least it’s by our own power and not because Zeref likely knows how to counteract our biggest weapons?

 **Gray:** There just isn’t a way to lighten up when this guy’s involved.


	112. Chapter 112

**Reactions to Zeref’s backstory!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Mavis:** I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not- Okay I’m crying!

 **Makarov:** Please don’t cry first master!

 **Mavis:** But it’s so sad! He’s so adorable and trying to do everything he can to resurrect someone just because he loves his brother!

 **Makarov:** Who just so happens to be Natsu Dragneel…

 **Mavis:** Yes that is a little weird, but I’m so happy he succeeded!

 **Makarov:** But this is potentially a very bad thing…

 **Mavis:** But he’s so adorable!

 **Makarov:** …

 **Natsu:** I’m not sure about this guys… I can’t believe such a big cry baby is my older brother!

 **Gray:** That’s what you focus on?

 **Natsu:** What? It’s weird!

 **Gray:** I’d be a little more concerned about that curse. That’s a pretty big threat and you’re the one that’s likely gonna have to fight this guy.

 **Natsu:** I’m the hero of the series, of course I’m gonna win.

 **Gray:** NATSU! You’re going up against a 300 year old powerful wizard with lots of experience and, in some cases, no problem killing people. He taught master Mavis her magic and he’s pretty immortal! Be. Worried.

 **Natsu:** Nah, I’m good.

 **Gray:** …

 **Gajeel:** I don’t suppose you expect me to feel sorry for him? He’s just a brat who lost his brother. So what? People die all the time.

 **Pantherlily:** Gajeel there are tears in your eyes.

 **Gajeel:** Are not shut up!

 **Pantherlily:** But they’re very clearly are-

 **Gajeel:** ARE NOT SHUT UP!!

 **Levy:** I’m pretty worried about all this, I’m going to try and find something about this in one of my books.

 **Freed:** And I’ll check the records at the guild, if there’s nothing there we can go to the big library with all those books on magic.

 **Levy:** Right! Do you need to borrow a pair of wind reading glasses?

 **Freed:** Yes, that might be helpful, thank you.

 **Bickslow:** Aww, look at the nerds being nerds.

 **Evergreen:** You know Bickslow, it might do you some good to help them out; I’m going to.

 **Bickslow:** Aww Ever! Is this your way of saying you want me around more?

 **Evergreen:** NO!

 **Freed:** You two could take this a little more seriously, we know that he was a child prodigy now and that is definitely cause for concern.

 **Bickslow:** Ah, no worries, Natsu’ll just take care of him!

 **Natsu:** _See_ Gray!?

 **Gray:** …

 **Gray:** Idiots.


	113. Chapter 113

**You’ve just caught Natsu and Lucy making out in the closet!**

(As requested by TheWorldsInMyHead)

 

 **Erza:** [slams the door and runs away to gossip to Mirajane]

 **Gray:** Well it’s about time! Mirajane really needed to see you two together.

 **Mirajane:** Yes I did! I’m so glad I brought my camera, these photos are adorable!

 **Cana:** Well, time to bring out the beer, this is something to celebrate!

 **Lisanna:** …I’m so happy for the both of you.

 **Elfman:** Closet make-outs… are manly!

 **Lisanna:** I guess we should reserve one for you and Evergreen then.

 **Elfman:** NO!

 **Evergreen:** DEFINTIELY NOT!

 **Bickslow:** Aww, look at the two lovebirds~

 **Evergreen:** We’re not in love!!

 **Bickslow:** _Sure_ you’re not.

 **Laxus:** Hmph, blondie’s kinda cute Natsu, good choice.

 **Gildarts:** I was kinda expecting this with Lisanna… but whatever makes you happy I guess…

 **Carla:** … No Wendy, not this way!

 **Wendy:** But Carla I want to see what- [turns bright red] Ok next time I listen to you!

 **Levy:** Congratulations Lu! We’ll talk about this later, k?

 **Gajeel:** Eh whatever! It’s not like I care.

 **Levy:** Gajeel are you… blushing?

 **Gajeel:** NO! You must be seeing things from all the way down there.

[Levy handbag attack!]

 **Makarov:** It’s always so nice to see my children… getting along.

 **Gildarts:** It must have taken great restraint on your part to not say what you really wanted to.

 **Makarov:** Yes indeed, where’s the alcohol?

 **Sherry:** It’s the best sight in the world to see two people sharing their “LOVE!”

 **(Ghost) Layla:** To strangle him or congratulate them…?

 **Michelle:** Oh big sister! I’m so happy for you! [teary eyes]

 **(Ghost) Jude:** At least he keeps you smiling Lucy.

 **(Ghost) Igneel:** Hmph. I suppose I approve.

 **Zeref:** I am so pleased for you Natsu; I am a proud older brother.

 **Zeref:** And this does not remind of anything about Mavis, not at all…

 **Sting:** Damn it! Natsu even beats me for relationships! Hey Rogue! Help me find a closet and we can make out!

 **Yukino:** Oh this is so sweet! I’m so happy for you both!

 **Juvia:** At least Juvia has one less love rival. Next time this will be Juvia and Gray-sama!

 **Happy:** Wow, they really do _like_ each other!

 **Mirajane:** Yeah, we knew it!

 **Happy:** So I heard you took pictures…?


	114. Chapter 114

**Reactions to Ultear’s goodbye letter and Last Ages spell.**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Meredy:** So that’s why she left us? And why Gray came back to life? …I suppose she’d be happy knowing she saved him, so I’m… glad.

 **Jellal:** You’re tearing up Meredy.

 **Meredy:** I miss her okay!?!

 **Jellal:** Oh come here. [hugs]

 **Gray:** Please don’t bring this up again? I feel guilty enough already…

 **Lyon:** This is why Gray didn’t die? Why we won?

 **Gray:** Yeah…

 **Lyon:** And she’s Ur’s daughter? I may not have known her personally, but I’m grateful.

 **Erza:** Her letter’s so sad.

 **Mirajane:** Agreed, I’m tearing up! She definitely deserves her redemption!

 **Angel:** So she was the other woman in the guild before me? That’s definitely one way to go.

 **Racer:** How’d you figure?

 **Angel:** It’s both epic and tragic! So beautiful…

 **Racer:** You’re crazy lady!

 **Angel:** Eh. I’ve had to put up with you all the time, it was bound to happen.

 **Racer:** Hey!

 **Makarov:** For such an ancient and dangerous magic, I think she used it wisely. She is to be respected for that.

 **Yajima:** It’s amazing it didn’t kill her too. The state of old age instead is quite remarkable.

 **Gray:** …Please stop talking about her like she’s something you could experiment on or learn from.

 **Yajima:** Oh don’t worry. I’m quite happy to leave this alone, I’m very sad for Ultear.

 **Lucy:** If this is getting closer to the ‘One Magic’ then I’d rather leave it be.

 **Erza:** Yes, lost magic is supposed to be closer to that, this doesn’t look at all promising.

 **Mirajane:** We drop the topic?

 **Lucy:** that seems like a good idea…

 **Dragon Slayers:** …

 **Erza:** …We’ll just have to find something else to work with.

 **Natsu:** It’s not as if I can use a stupid spell like that tho-

[Gray on Natsu violence!]

 **Gray:** Can. We. Please. Stop. Talking. Now!

 **Lucy:** …Yes I think that would be best.


	115. Chapter 115

**Reactions to Silver being Deliora!**

(As requested by anon) I know that this was fake in the end but these were all the specifics that were requested)

 

 **Gray:** …

 **Juvia:** Gray-sama, are you alright?

 **Juvia:** Juvia is very concerned.

 **Gray:** …

 **Sherry:** This isn’t good at all, I hope Lucy’s okay…

 **Yuka:** Yes, this doesn’t seem to be very good for Fairy Tail, we all know what Deliora’s capable of.

 **Toby:** [whining in the corner] Not this guy again!

 **Natsu:** But I thought I already killed that thing back at Galuna Island!

 **Mirajane:** Maybe you did Natsu, but these demons seem to have that lab to revive them so if it’s really true, then…

 **Natsu:** …Well it’s gonna be a lot of fun blowing that up!

 **Lisanna:** But big sis, didn’t you already destroy that?

 **Mirajane:** I think so, but seeing as we’re going back in time anyway for this list I can get away with it?

 **Lisanna:** Should it really be allowed to work that way?

 **Natsu:** Please let it! That means I get to blow that lab to bits!

 **Lisanna:** …Yes I agree, that is how this works.

 **Gray:** …So glad to see you’re having fun with this.

 **Lyon:** You know Gray, you were sitting in horrified silence for quite a while…

 **Gray:** I’ve just discovered that the body of my father is being used by the demon that destroyed my home, mentally scared me and later took the life of my master away, I am allowed to act traumatized for a bit okay?!

 **Lyon:** …Of course. But I’m sure things will work out and something will come and take away your trauma away for good, so then you can fight again.

 **Gray:** …

 **Lyon:** …

 **Gray:** Why do I suddenly feel like crying my eyes out and having a family kind of bonding moment?

 **Lyon:** Don’t try hugging me; I’ll punch you in the face.

 **Gray:** That was your idea, not mine.

 **Lyon:** …I assumed that was what you meant?

 **Gray:** Hugs fit in there somewhere, but not with you.

 **Lyon:** …Drat.


	116. Chapter 116

**Hey guys! Zeref and Mavis are dating! Your reactions?**

(As requested by anon, anon, martinthedragon and roninwarriorsfanatic)

 

 **Makarov:** The first master is going out with the most evil black wizard in the world? Yes that makes perfect sense.

 **Mirajane:** Sarcasm aside you have to admit this is cute! It’s so sweet!

 **Makarov:** But it’s good and evil! Light and dark, you can’t expect that to work!

 **Sting:** …

 **Rogue:** …

 **Sting:** Hey Rogue, wanna make out?

 **Rogue:** I’m not entirely sure I want to humour your fall back into the teenage rebellious stage; you’re guild master now, you have to try and be a little more responsible.

 **Sting:** Not when it involves make outs.

 **Rogue:** …

 **Mirajane:** But master! Natsu said that Zeref was crying on Tenrou! That _must_ mean he has a sensitive side and maybe Mavis can help him with that?

 **Makarov:** Apparently when that happens though he starts killing everything around him.

 **Mirajane:** …You’re just no fun.

 **Yuriy:** Aww she seemed to like him lots when he first taught us magic, I’m really happy for you Mavis.

 **Lucy:** How can he even see or hear her, he hasn’t got the Fairy Tail guild mark on him!?

 **Natsu:** Yeah, imagine how weird their dates would be; Zeref could just be sitting there eating something and trying to talk to her and he wouldn’t hear her reply.

 **Lucy:** I suppose he’d have to keep guessing what she’s saying… he must know her well enough so that they have foundation for a relationship, so his guesses should be pretty accurate.

 **Natsu:** …Can we possibly make this a little less confusing and just say ‘magic’?

 **Lucy:** Whatever floats your boat.

 **Natsu:** [motion sick]

 **Lucy:** Seriously?!

 **Warrod:** Ah little Mavis is becoming a woman! How cute!

 **Yuriy:** She’s technically a woman already, just a tiny childlike one.

 **Warrod:** Yes and that raises some questions for other aspects of their relationship, just… stuff.

 **Yuriy:** Yeah, that must be weird, especially if he can’t really see her; does that mean he can’t feel her either?

 **Warrod:** …This is gonna be one strange couple.

 **Hades:** Indeed, my lord and master but also the man who murdered me, must have feelings for my best friend who brought me into this life.

 **Hades:** I’m not exactly happy about that, I feel as if I’m the only one.

 **Makarov:** Wait, what if this is just a plot so Zeref can get his hands on Lumen Histoire?!

 **Hades:** …While I am quite pleased I’m not alone on this, I suggest you leave it alone boy, that woman with white hair behind you looks as if she’ll strangle you.

 **Makarov:** Please Mira, I promise I’ll let you ship your ship in peace now!

 **Mirajane:** Thank you! [devilish smile]

 **Hades:** …The sad part when you’re glad you aren’t around anymore.


	117. Chapter 117

**Reactions to Chapter 450!**

(As requested by Axkkx)

 

 **Makarov:** …The first master killed my mother.

 **Mavis:** I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!!!

 **Makarov:** No it’s fine, just a bit of a shock; these things happen.

 **Mavis:** Oh yes, being afflicted with a conflicted curse that takes the life of things around you just because you care, happens every day!

 **Makarov:** First master I’m trying to be on your side.

 **Mavis:** Don’t be on my side! I am a horrible, horrible person…

 **Makarov:** No you’re not, so please don’t start crying!

 **Mirajane:** Apart from all the sadness, this was so cute! Zeref and Mavis kissed!

 **Laxus:** Yeah and she died right after it, that’s not exactly something that seems good to ship

 **Mirajane:** Lalala I can’t hear you over the sound of my new OTP!

 **Laxus:** You’re impossible.

 **Mirajane:** I don’t care they’re adorable!

 **Laxus:**  Does the guy even deserve to get a kiss though? I mean, he goes around killing everything.

 **Erza:** It’s not as if he wants to Laxus, he’s cursed; it’s not something he can help.

 **Laxus:** Look I’m just a little mad about Tenrou Island okay?

 **Erza:** Oh, when he would’ve killed Elfman and Evergreen?

 **Laxus:** Yeah, if I see that guy I’m gonna giving a beating he’ll never forget.

 **Natsu:** No way Laxus! I’m gonna beat him so hard he won’t remember anything from the past 400 years!

 **Laxus:** As if you could.

 **Natsu:** Want me to prove it?!

 **Erza:** That’s enough!

 **Laxus:** …

 **Natsu:** …

 **Gray:** He created the Etherious… E.N.D. … and started creating his very own country, that guy was some sort of genius.

 **Lucy:** Yes, though take a look at when he says he wants to see his brother again, but changes it and says he wants to destroy him…

 **Gray:** That’s interesting, must be a side effect of the curse…

 **Lucy:** True, we might need to be wary of Master Mavis…

 **Natsu:** Did that big cry-baby say he had a brother?! That’s news to me!

 **Gray:** …

 **Lucy:** …

 **Gray:** Why am I suddenly getting chills?

 **Lucy:** I don’t know…


	118. Chapter 118

**Igneel tells the other dragons that Natsu is E.N.D.**

(As requested by sexinacarton)

 

 **Grandeeney:** Isn’t that the demon you fought all those years ago?

 **Metallicana:** And you raised him?

 **Igneel:** It might have been a slightly bad move on my part.

 **Metallicana:** Ya think?!

 **Grandeeney:** Well I knew he was trouble, but to be evil…?

 **Igneel:** We don’t know if E.N.D. means evil or not so…

 **Grandeeney:** Then why were you fighting him?!

 **Igneel:** …I am currently unable to disclose that information.

 **Metallicana:** Dammit, hurry up plot!!

 **Weisslogia:** Now what I find interesting is that we really should have guessed this.

 **Skiadrum:** True, the constant destruction should have been a giveaway, Igneel’s not _that_ bad.

 **Igneel:** …Of course I’m not.

 **Atlas Flame:** Natsu? That boy who kept calling me ‘Uncle’, the son of Igneel is your worst enemy?

 **Acnologia:** I digress, I’m his worst enemy.

 **Igneel:** Yes, dying wasn’t fun.

 **Acnologia:** Such a shame, killing you was hilarious.

 **Igneel:** …Anyone want to help me fight this guy?

 **Weisslogia:** _Back_ to the matter at claw, I don’t see why we even need to know about this, we can’t exactly do anything about it.

 **Skiadrum:** Yes, but all we’ve really got to do around here now is gossip, so Igneel?

 **Igneel:** What?

 **Skiadrum:** Are your parenting skills really so bad that the child you raised is going to turn out to be a demon?

 **Igneel:** It had nothing to do with how I raised him, he was already that way!

 **Weisslogia:** So are your instincts just so bad you couldn’t tell you were raising an opponent you’d just been trying to destroy?

 **Igneel:** A: my instincts are perfectly fine and B: I am currently unable to disclose that information.

 **All of them:** DAMMIT PLOT HURRY UP!!!


	119. Chapter 119

**The dragon parents meet the slayer’s Exceeds!**

(As requested by anon) The original request didn’t include Skiadrum and Weisslogia meeting Frosch and lector, sorry but I added those)

 

**_Happy and Igneel:_ **

**Igneel:** Hello there small tiny blue cat who is curiously able to speak.

 **Happy:** Hey you must be Igneel! Natsu would love to see you!

 **Igneel:** You know Natsu?

 **Happy:** He’s my best friend!

 **Igneel:** Interesting… how is he?

 **Happy:** Oh he’s doing fine, but he’s also pretty sad too; he misses you.

 **Igneel:** Yes I miss him too… but what’s so special about you, why can you talk?

 **Happy:** Why can _you_ talk?

 **Igneel:** Magic. And also I’m a great mythical creature with astonishing abilities.

 **Happy:** Magic. And also my species.

 **Igneel:** Yes what is that exactly? I haven’t come across many blue talking cats before.

 **Happy:** I’m an Exceed, we’re a race from another world called Edolas and we can all fly, not all of us are blue though.

 **Igneel:** I see, so you can fly?

 **Happy:** Aye, wanna race?

 **Igneel:** My wings are giant; I’d feel bad if I knocked you out of the sky by hitting you with them.

 **Happy:** I guess you’ve got a point there. Hey do you like fish?!

 **Igneel:** …What kind of fish?

 

 

**_Carla and Grandeeney:_ **

**Carla:** So you’re the dragon that taught Wendy her magic?

 **Grandeeney:** Yes, and you’re the cat that has stayed by her side all this time helping her?

 **Carla:** Yes, it’s very nice to meet you.

 **Grandeeney:** And it’s very nice to meet you too, thank you for looking after her when I couldn’t be there beside her.

 **Carla:** Not a problem, somebody had to after you fled inside her.

 **Grandeeney:** Yes, I’m very sorry about that.

 **Carla:** Well, you did do it to stop her dragonification… She’s heartbroken though, now that she knows you’re gone for good.

 **Grandeeney:** I’m sure you’ve helped her through it though, and isn’t there that human version of me? Porlyusica was it?

 **Carla:** Yes but she’s hardly very friendly, though she does at least seem to be a lot kinder to Wendy.

 **Grandeeney:** She has this special power to get anyone to like her doesn’t she?

 **Carla:** Mmhm. It got her into a lot of trouble at one point.

 **Grandeeney:** I heard that was filler…

 **Carla:** It still got her into trouble.

 **Grandeeney:** I take your point.

 **Grandeeney:** …Keep looking out for her won’t you?

 **Carla:** Of course.

 

 

**_Pantherlily and Metallicana:_ **

**Metallicana:** My son has partnered himself up with… a cat?

 **Pantherlily:** The official term is Exceed and I can do way more than any regular cat could.

 **Metallicana:** Like what?

 **Pantherlily:** Well for one thing I can enter a battle form and swing a size changing sword around to hit my opponents with.

 **Metallicana:** …Go on.

 **Pantherlily:** Obviously I can talk, I can fly, and another one of my species can see visions of the future…

 **Metallicana:** Hmph. So how is that little brat anyway? He’s at least managed to not get himself killed yet.

 **Pantherlily:** Gajeel’s doing just fine, he’s got a few friends and someone I’m sure he likes.

 **Metallicana:** Interesting, and his magic’s good, his fighting’s coming on well?

 **Pantherlily:** His magic is fine; he eats a healthy amount of iron each day to keep up his strength. He does fight a lot though; he brawls with people in the guild often but does _occasionally_ back down…

 **Metallicana:** I suppose he’s frightened of that Titania like other people then? And wasn’t there also that Second Generation Slayer he ran from?

 **Pantherlily:** Yes, filler or not that must have been how people saw him, as someone who’d run away.

 **Metallicana:** Hmph. My son is such a dork.

 **Pantherlily:** Mmhm.

 

 

**_Lector and Weisslogia:_ **

**Lector:** Hey there, you must be Sting’s dragon, nice to meet you.

 **Weisslogia:** And it is very nice to meet you, you are the one who ended up being obliterated trying to defend Sting weren’t you?

 **Lector:** Well I wasn’t really obliterated, it turned out that I was moved somewhere as a bargaining chip or a hostage… but yeah that’s me.

 **Weisslogia:** Either way, I’m quite happy he had someone to defend him, I’m sure for someone as small as you that big man was rather intimidating.

 **Lector:** And the fact that he’s a strong, power mad tyrant but I’m glad you’re pleased.

 **Weisslogia:** And I hope he’s been doing well, he was a little brat when he was younger.

 **Lector:** Things have only improved a little since then.

 **Weisslogia:** Tell me about it, oh the stories I could tell…

 **Lector:** I am listening intently.

 **Weisslogia:** Alright then, this one time, we both went out to see…

 **Inner Lector:** Oh the things I could do with this…

 

 

**_Frosch and Skiadrum:_ **

**Skiadrum:** I can’t help but notice that Rogue has the most peculiar taste in company.

 **Skiadrum:** First it was Gajeel, who I suppose isn’t too bad of a choice, another Dragon Slayer was likely a good idea, despite the fact he went to an utterly appalling guild.

 **Skiadrum:** Then it was Sting, who was still a Dragon Slayer but was the complete opposite element, light and dark shouldn’t mix. What is it with this series and bonding natural opposites?

 **Skiadrum:** I’ll admit I was shocked when he joined that Sabertooth guild, staying under a superior that you have to leave in constant fear of? Not the best decision, though I suppose it is something to be proud of, with him being one of the five new members that made it the strongest, albeit temporarily.

 **Skiadrum:** I just think it’s quite strange, don’t you agree little cat?

 **Frosch:** Fro thinks so too!

 **Skiadrum:** …What else should I have expected from the talking cat in a frog suit?


	120. Chapter 120

**Everyone! Gray and Erza are dating!**

(As requested by Viperhat)

 

 **Mirajane:** Aww, that’s so wonderful!

 **Cana:** True, those two have had a lot between them since their fateful encounter.

 **Lucy:** But wasn’t that mostly Gray picking fights and Erza beating him up?

 **Mirajane:** No need to be such a spoilsport Lucy.

 **Cana:** Yeah, lighten up a bit and just be happy for them.

 **Lucy:** …Well now I just feel kinda mean.

 **Mirajane:** Aww don’t be, it’s perfectly fine if you’re jealous~

 **Cana:** No need to worry girl, we’ll pair you up with Natsu soon enough.

 **Lucy:** T-that wasn’t it at all!

 **Mirajane & Cana:** _Sure_.

 **Juvia:** …Part of Juvia wants to attack, but mostly is afraid of Erza… Decisions decisions…

 **Gajeel:** Whatever you’re crazy enough to try could you just do it now! I’m getting drenched here!

 **Juvia:** Sorry!

 **Gajeel:** Well if you are then stop the rain!

 **Juvia:** Juvia can’t help it!

 **Gajeel:** Aye aye aye aye aye…

 **Happy:** You called?

 **Gajeel:** Go away you dumb cat.

 **Natsu:**  Hey who called Happy dumb- whoa Erza’s dating Gray?

 **Lyon:** Where have you been this entire list?

 **Natsu:** Eating, but seriously, Gray’s crazy enough to go out with that monster?!

 **Erza:** What did you just say Natsu?

 **Natsu:** N-nothing!

 **Lyon:** …Apparently he is.

 **Gray:** You seem to have kind of a problem with that.

 **Lyon:** I just thought after being beaten by everyone _else_ so much you’d like to be safe from your significant other.

 **Gray:** Why you…!

 **Erza:** No fighting!

 **Gray & Lyon:** Yes ma’am!

 **Erza:** Good, let’s try and have some peace and quiet around here, shall we?

 **Lyon:** …How are you going to survive?

 **Gray:** Ask me again when I at least _look_ like I know.

 **Millianna:** Aww I’m so happy for her, he looks like he’d be a great boyfriend!

 **Kagura:** Yes, and even if something went awry along the way, Erza’s certainly capable of handling him.

 **Gajeel:** I’m sure she handles him in other ways too.

 **Kagura:** There’s no need to be so vulgar.

 **Erza:** Ahh, you really do care, how cute!

 **Kagura:** I-I am not cute!

 **Erza:** _Sure_.

 **Kagura:** …When is this over with exactly?

 **Makarov:** Not at least until I’ve finished speaking! First I have to talk about how precious it is that two of my most beloved children are happy with- Hey now I see that magic circle-!

 **Kagura:** …My finger slipped.


	121. Chapter 121

**Everyone! You've just found out Gray and Mirajane are dating... how do you react?**

(As requested by Viperhat on FF.Net)

 **Erza:**  This is certainly an interesting development…

 **Lucy:**  Woah, I never saw that coming!

 **Juvia:**  A new love rival… but Juvia is afraid of Mira-san… what should Juvia do?

 **Cana:** Leave them alone. If Juvia is lonely, then Cana-chan is always here to make her feel-

 **Erza, Lucy and Juvia:**  Cana!

 **Elfman:**  Anyone that can date big sis is a real man!

 **Natsu:** And anyone who would want to date Gray is an idiot…

 **Gray:**  What did you just say?

[Gray and Natsu violence!]

 **Lyon:**  I’m very happy for you, Gray. Mirajane is quite a beauty. 

 **Mirajane:**  Thank you, Lyon!

 **Lisanna:**  Honestly though, I’m surprised… who confessed to who?

[Gray blushes, Mirajane giggles]

 **Mirajane:**  Gray confessed to me… he was so cute!  

 **Lucy:**  I want to hear all about this! 

 **Juvia:**  Juvia doesn’t!

 **Makarov:** To think these two would become a couple… Honestly, I’m shocked. But a parent is always happy for their children, so I wish you both the best. 

 **Mirajane:** Thank you, Master!

 **Laxus:**  I think you could do better than that idiot, Mira. 

 **Mirajane and Makarov:**  Laxus! 

 **Laxus:** What? I’m just being honest. Gray probably can’t even ‘handle’ her… if you know what I mean. 

 **Mirajane:**  Gray ‘handles’ me very well, thank you very much.

 **Gray:**  M-Mira! [blushes]

 **Wendy:** …

 **Wendy:**  …

 **Wendy:** I don’t think I should be hearing this…


	122. Chapter 122

**Natsu left Lucy with just a crummy letter! Thoughts? Beatings?**

(As requested by elizabethbane)

 

 **Erza:** NATSU YOU COMPLETE IDIOT! [requip]

 **Gray:** Ice Make…!

 **Natsu:** Hey wait just a second you guys!

 **Mirajane:** Do not try pleading. You left your girlfriend with a silly note, and that was all she had of you for a whole year!

 **Mirajane:** And right after the battle with Tartaros too…

 **Lucy:** I-I’m not his girlfriend!

 **Mirajane:** _Sure_ you’re not.

 **Lucy:** …If I forgive Natsu, can we stop talking about this now?

 **Makarov:** No we may not. I may have disbanded the guild but we were still a family and this behaviour is atrocious.

 **Natsu:** …The plot made me do it?

 **Makarov:** Try again later Natsu; that is nowhere near a good enough excuse.

[Gajeel on Natsu violence!]

 **Natsu:** WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!

 **Gajeel:** It said ‘beatings?’ in the title; I took advantage of the opportunity.

 **Natsu:** …The author is _so_ dead for this.

 **Gajeel:** I think you’ll have to get past the readers who are still mad at you for pulling that little stunt first.

 **Natsu:** …Crud.

 **Natsu:** And also…

[Natsu on Gajeel violence!]

 **Natsu:** Payback!

 **Erza:** Can we get back to the matter at hand? Natsu, after everything we’ve been through, you left her with a _letter_!

 **Natsu:** Admittedly not one of my better choices.

 **Erza:** _Quiet_! That’s got to be one of the worst ways to break up with someone ever!

 **Lucy:** We weren’t and aren’t a couple!

 **Mirajane:** Keep telling yourself that.

 **Erza:** Ugh, I don’t know what to do with you sometimes…

 **Gray:** Well I say we throw him in a room full of our S-Class members, that’d teach him a few things…

 **Natsu:** …

 **Laxus:** Hey, that actually sounds like a good idea.

 **Natsu:** …

 **Erza:** Yes it does, doesn’t it?

 **Natsu:** [paling]

 **Mirajane:** Oh yes, I’d love to participate!

 **Natsu:** …

 **Natsu:** LUCY I’M VERY, _VERY_ SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!

 **Lucy:** Gee Natsu, I don’t know…

 **Lucy:** That room full of our S-Class sounds like a pretty good idea to me…

 **Natsu:** [faints]

 **Everyone:** So do we count that?

 **Lucy:** Well I’m happy.


	123. Chapter 123

**Mard Geer and Natsu are dating!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Everyone:** …

 **Everyone:** WHAT?!        

 **Gray:** Seriously Natsu, what the hell’s going on?

 **Natsu:** Huh? I thought the title said that he and I are dating?

 **Gray:** Yeah I got _that_ part, but why?

 **Natsu:** Have you thought that I may actually like him?

 **Gray:** It didn’t seem that way when you helped me beat his face in.

 **Mard Geer:** That isn’t really how it went…

 **Gray:** You don’t get to talk; this whole thing is freaking me out!

 **Natsu:** Hey! My boyfriend can talk if he wants to!

 **Gray:** …

 **Kyoka:** While the ice wizard appears to be having a small mid-life crisis, may I just say sir, that you being referred to as ‘boyfriend’ is strange?

 **Mard Geer:** I wouldn’t have let you say that, no. However seeing as you already have, there is nothing to do but kill you.

 **Natsu:** Hey now, what did I say about resorting to murder?

 **Mard Geer:** [sigh] To not to.

 **Natsu:** So what isn’t going to happen?

 **Mard Geer:** I suppose I’m not going to destroy Kyoka.

 **Mard Geer:** Yet.

 **Natsu:** Mard _no_.

 **Kyoka:** …This really is just too strange.

 **Zeref:** Do you think so? I thought this was quite a good idea.

 **Kyoka:** …Lord Zeref?

 **Zeref:** Well they’re both strong enough to do whatever they want, and Mard Geer will obey me when I say he’s not to hurt Natsu.

 **Kyoka:** I see; well perhaps that is… reasonable, but why would the safety of that ‘fairy’ matter to you?

 **Zeref:** The plot prevents me from telling just yet.

 **Kyoka:** These lists are mostly dedicated to breaking the fourth wall.

 **Zeref:** Then this is a simple case of, ‘the author can’t be bothered to have me explain’ then.

 **Kyoka:** …

 **Lucy:** Consider my mind blown.

 **Natsu:** Hey, thanks Lucy!

 **Lucy:** I didn’t mean that in a good way. At all.

 **Erza:** I have to agree with Lucy here, this really isn’t something I think even Mirajane could support.

 **Mirajane:** _Well_ …

 **Erza:** No.

 **Makarov:** This is most disturbing, there must be an ulterior motive surely; and if that’s the case we should probably expect an Erza and Kyoka match up next.

 **Erza:** _No_.

 **Kyoka:** _Well_ …

 **Erza:** NO!


	124. Chapter 124

**The guild founders talk about how far Fairy Tail has come since their time.**

(As requested by sexinacarton)

 

 **Mavis:** Yes I’ve seen it, they’re all so wonderful!

 **Warrod:** The young’uns I saw were rather good; the guild must have been doing well for all this time.

 **Hades:** I certainly thought so when they fought me.

 **Yuriy:** …So I’m the only one who hasn’t met any of them? Being dead really sucks.

 **Mavis:** If it makes you feel any better, technically I’m dead too.

 **Hades:** And me.

 **Yuriy:** That… really doesn’t help, why would that make me feel better?

 **Warrod:** So before we get into crap like that-

 **Yuriy:** Hey!

 **Warrod:** -Precht, what’s up with this ‘Hades’ name the author’s using?

 **Hades:** Long story, don’t ask.

 **Yuriy:** From what you said earlier, you fought some of the current guild members?

 **Hades:** I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT OKAY?!

 **Mavis:** Well that was fast.

 **Mavis:** Should we start getting back on topic?

 **Warrod:** Nah, I don’t feel like it.

 **Mavis:** But-

 **Warrod:** That was a joke.

 **Yuriy:** I see the guild may have come a long way from what it originally was, but your sense of humour definitely hasn’t.

 **Warrod:** Well that wasn’t very nice.

 **Yuriy:** And that would be the point of insulting someone.

 **Hades:** _Anyway_ … would it really be accurate to say the guild has ‘come a long way’ though? The wizards are some of the most destructive hooligans I think I’ve ever come across.

 **Mavis:** Now that I think about it, they get involved in wars quite a bit; working with them is rather nostalgic.

 **Yuriy:** We can still give them the benefit of the doubt; they’re young and have time to learn.

 **Hades:** That’s debatable.

 **Warrod:** Don’t be silly, of course they’ll have time! They just need to live a few more years and not be painfully destroyed by an enemy’s invading force.

 **Yuriy:** Don’t be such a downer.

 **Warrod:** It’s your fault for hurting my feelings earlier.

 **Yuriy:** Oh sure, blame me.

 **Warrod:** Well alright then, Yuriy, this is all your fault.

 **Hades:** Getting a bit more on track, I see the enemy is after the Fairy Heart, Mavis?

 **Yuriy:** ‘Fairy Heart’ what’s that? I wanna know!

 **Hades:** I don’t want to talk about _that_ either.


	125. Chapter 125

**Natsu to Erza: why fire is better than cake.**

(As requested by anon)

 

**_“Fire gives you an energy boost!”_ **

**Erza:** So does my cake, it’s called a sugar rush.

 **Natsu:** ‘Energy boost’ as in ‘smash your enemies into the ground’ boost?

 **Erza:** _Pretty_ sure I can do that without the cake anyway.

 

**_“It’s healthier!”_ **

**Erza:** …Okay. Go ahead and try explaining this one.

 **Natsu:** Well it always makes me feel better and I usually get to blow up a lot of stuff afterwards.

 **Erza:** So you can also tell me how you think that’s a good thing?

 **Natsu:** Moving on!

 

**_“It tastes way better!”_ **

**Erza:** Now I’m confused.

 **Natsu:** Flames. They taste better than cake does.

 **Erza:** You see Natsu; I have these things called proper taste-buds that are here to prove you wrong.

 **Natsu:** But it’s yummy!

 **Erza:** Sounds more like second hand smoke to me.

 

**_“Fire can be used as a weapon!”_ **

**Natsu:** You can do some damage with this stuff, I don’t see your cake doing anything damaging.

 **Erza:** You do know there are things called cavities right?

 **Natsu:** Wha-?

 **Erza:** Brush your teeth everyone.

 

**_“All cake does is sit there!”_ **

**Erza:** So?

 **Natsu:** Well, fire spreads, that’s way cooler.

 **Erza:** Only when you bring out the water hoses and buckets.

 **Erza:** Natsu… you do realize that these are mostly ‘damaging’ and ‘destructive’ arguments, don’t you?

 **Natsu:** And what’s wrong with that?

 **Erza:** …

 

**_“Back to the ‘fire as a weapon’ idea, it’s dangerous on its own.”_ **

**Erza:** You’re reusing an argument?

 **Natsu:** Look I just don’t see a slice of cake wrecking anything.

 **Erza:** What do you expect me to do about that? Give it a machine gun?

 **Natsu:** _Well_ …

 **Erza:** Natsu no.

 

**_“People are afraid of fire!”_ **

**Erza:** Obviously I have not targeted you enough in food fights.

 

**_“It looks cooler!”_ **

**Natsu:** I also don’t see cake looking impressive.

 **Erza:** Oh what a coincidence, I’ve just brought back this masterpiece from the bakers and it looks incredible.

 **Natsu:** A-are those chocolate sprinkles?

 

**_“At least with fire you know what you’re getting!”_ **

**Natsu:** With cake there’s no telling! It could be chocolate, strawberry, lemon…

 **Erza:** Bakeries usually have a little sign telling you what flavour the cake is Natsu. Do I have to reteach you how to read?

 **Natsu:** NO!

 

**_“I’m the main character!”_ **

**Erza:** …So?

 **Natsu:** So what I say must be true?

 **Erza:** No.

 **Natsu:** If it’s something I like it must also automatically be cooler than everything else?

 **Erza:** Definitely not.

 **Natsu:** …Then what the hell does it mean to be a main character?

 **Erza:** Let’s come right this way and talk about why you should never insult my favourite treat again.

 **Natsu:** …[gulp]


	126. Chapter 126

**Gray and Natsu have turned back into five year olds!**

(As requested by Vedra77)

 

 **Erza:** Mira, Mirajane look at this.

 **Mirajane:** Oh wow!

 **Erza:** They’re looking at me, it’s adorable, help.

 **Mirajane:** No wait a second, I have to get my camera!

 **Laxus:** And as soon as Erza looks away they’re squabbling?

 **Laxus:** Typical.

 **Lucy:** What was the term you used Mira? ‘Little balls of hate’?

 **Mirajane:** They really don’t change much.

 **Natsu:** We’re still the same you know.

 **Gray:** Yeah, we’re just… tiny.

 **Juvia:** Gray-sama is the cutest child ever! Juvia just wants to hold him close!

 **Gajeel:** Go for it, he can’t run away from you this time.

 **Juvia:** You don’t have to be so mean to Juvia, Gajeel.

 **Gajeel:** Eh, put a sock in it; I don’t even get what the big fuss is about these little brats.

[Natsu has just bitten Gajeel’s leg!]

 **Gajeel:** WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR YOU LITTLE-!

 **Mirajane:** Put your fists down Gajeel, I’d hate for anything… bad, to happen to you if these two got hurt.

 **Gajeel:** …How did you get so terrifying?

 **Mirajane:** Trade secret.

 **Lyon:** My younger pupil has become tiny. Tiny and adorable.

 **Lyon:** I don’t know how to handle this.

 **Wendy:** I-I’m bigger than someone now? Yes!

 **Carla:** Not for much longer I’d hope, surely we’re already looking for a way to turn them back to their larger selves?

 **Makarov:** Huh? Wazzat? Sorry, I was distracted by the two little ones having a slap fight.

 **Carla:** …

 **Zeref:** Natsu… you’ve become so familiar… you’re just as cute as you used to be.

 **Zeref:** Such a shame you never really got to be this young when I was there with you.

 **Natsu:** …Well that’s just weird.

 **Sting:** Natsu’s really small? What the hell happened here?

 **Rogue:** I’m not sure, though I assume their guild is searching for a reason for this.

 **Makarov:** No, not at all, we’ve all been too busy fawning over them and seeing how riled up they get now that they’re tiny again.

 **Sting:** …

 **Rogue:** …

 **Erza:** We might look into it sometime soon, but right now we’re a little busy getting Laxus to play with little Natsu, he’s asking for a fight so we’re trying to get him to do something different with Laxus instead.

 **Sting:** …I think maybe we should just go back to our own guild.

 **Rogue:** Yeah, I think that would be best.


	127. Chapter 127

**Natsu and Mirajane are dating! Thoughts?**

(As requested by Tgamering)

 

 **Elfman:** Well it looks like we’re gonna have to have a talk man to man now Natsu.

 **Lisanna:** Whatever you do big brother, don’t try to punch him.

 **Elfman:** Well I’d never!

 **Lisanna:** _Sure_ you wouldn’t.

 **Mirajane:** Don’t worry Elfman; you don’t need to go out of your way for this.

 **Elfman:** But I’m the man in this family! I’ve got to!

 **Mirajane:** It’s already been sorted, we can break up nicely, if it ever happens at all, but if he does anything that might hurt me, I’ll break him.

 **Lisanna:** …

 **Elfman:** …You’re smiling, it’s pretty scary.

 **Mirajane:** Do you really think so?

 **Lucy:** Hey, we’re supposed to be talking about how they’ve gotten together, not about them breaking up!

 **Mirajane:** But I have broken up. I’ve only just realized that I broke up my favourite Lucy match!

 **Mirajane:** I suppose I _could_ pair you up with Gray now…

 **Juvia:** Love rival!

 **Lucy:** Eep!

 **Erza:** Oh Mira! I’m so happy you’ve found someone! Natsu is… somehow decent boyfriend material I’m sure.

 **Mirajane:** He’d surprise you.

 **Erza:** …I don’t want to know.

 **Laxus:** Mirajane’s with Natsu? I always thought she could do _way_ better.

 **Natsu:** Hey man what’s that supposed to mean!?

 **Laxus:** It means that Mira’s way out of your league, guess that makes you pretty lucky.

 **Bickslow:** Apart from all the fanboys that will now try to slaughter him.

 **Laxus:** Yes, apart from all the fanboys that are gonna come and murder him, Natsu is a lucky guy.

 **Natsu:** …Mirajane you’ll protect me right?

 **Laxus:** See what I mean? Way out of your league.

 **Freed:** I understand that you might be… upset, Laxus, but could you please refrain from electrifying Mirajane’s new boyfriend?

 **Laxus:** No promises.


	128. Chapter 128

**Fairy Tail characters: Who they ship**

(As requested by anon)

 

**_Mirajane –_ ** _Natsu and Lucy._

**Lucy:** You’re not still at that are you?

**Mirajane:** Sorry Lucy, but I’m still sure you two would be adorable together.

 

**_Bickslow_ ** _– Elfman and Evergreen._

**Bickslow:** I’m only supporting a teammate’s feelings.

**Evergreen:** For the last time, I don’t have a crush on him!

 

**_Erza_ ** _– Gray and Juvia._

**Erza:** Gray just needs to sort out his feelings… and possibly move in with her, it might make her get rid of some of her merchandise.

**Juvia:** Juvia would never abandon any part of Gray-sama!

**Gray:** Do I wanna know?

 

**_Meredy_ ** _– Jellal and Erza._

**Meredy:** Do I even need to give a reason?

**Jellal:** Meredy I thought I’d asked you to cut this out.

**Meredy:** That doesn’t mean I _listened_.

 

**_Ultear_ ** _– Gray and happiness._

**Ultear:** I’m fairly certain this doesn’t count as a ‘shipping’ thing, but I’d like very much if this were ‘canon’ anyway.

 

**_Juvia_ ** _– Lyon and Gray._

**Juvia:** Of course Juvia would want Gray-sama for herself, but the evidence at the water park was too much!

**Gray:** …

**Lyon:** …

 

**_Happy_ ** _– Natsu and Lucy._

**Happy:** Those two are totally in _love_!

**Natsu:** Hey quit it!

**Lucy:** Shut up stupid cat!

 

**_Pantherlily_ ** _– Gajeel and Levy._

**Pantherlily:** I was there the whole time at the council, there’s no way I’m gonna suffer through a year of their awkward flirting and not come out a fan.

**Levy:** W-we weren’t flirting!

**Gajeel:** Hey Lily I trusted you!

**Levy:** …

 

**_Lector and Frosch_ ** _– Sting and Rogue._

**Rogue:** …Frosch what is this madness?

**Lector:** Hey, we’ve been with you guys most of our lives, I’m _still_ pretty sure you two have been hooking up when nobody’s looking.

**Frosch:** Fro thinks so too!

**Sting:** Eh, I could get behind it.

**Rogue:** …

**Sting:** What?

 

**_Asuka_ ** _– Natsu and Lucy._

**Asuka:** I still think you two need to kiss!

**Lucy:** Not gonna happen!

**Happy:** Asuka I love you!

 

**_ Bonuses: _ **

**_Erza_ ** _– Alzack and Bisca._

**Erza:** I remember simpler times when everything was happy and innocent, and I just wanted them to freaking _kiss already_.

 

**_Jenny_ ** _– Ichiya and Mirajane._

**Jenny:** What are you talking about? I’m not that petty!

 

**_Hibiki_ ** _– Ichiya and Erza._

**Hibiki:** Although I thought I heard that these two were technically already canon? [punched through a wall]

 

**_Midnight_ ** _– Hot Eye and Jura._

**Midnight:** It amuses me. Richard just says ‘all in the name of love’ to it anyway.

 

**_Happy_ ** _– Loke and Lucy._

**Happy:** He looooves her!


	129. Chapter 129

**Midnight and Cobra are dating!**

(As requested by Shiroyamimaru)

 

 **Angel:** Nobody move for a while, I have to go and get my camera.

 **Cobra:** We’re not gonna pose for you.

 **Angel:** Oh it’s not for that, I just want something to remind me of the faces everyone has now.

 **Cobra:** You _would_ do something like _that_.

 **Jellal:** Out of everything I thought might happen when you joined Crime Sorcière, I was not expecting this.

 **Meredy:** Not even a little?

 **Jellal:** No. Not even a little.

 **Meredy:** Well, I’m fine with it as long as they don’t slack off work to go make out, so does it really even matter what they do in their personal lives?

 **Jellal:** It doesn’t matter; it just came as a shock, that’s all.

 **Cobra:** …Yeah, can you hurry up and bring the camera over Angel? I really need this as proof he just said that.

 **Hot Eye:** I’ll admit, like Jellal, I never saw this coming either, but I shall support my comrades!

 **Racer:** Wow, when did we turn into sissies?

 **Hot Eye:** We did not become ‘sissies’, I _personally_ am being supportive-

 **Racer:** Do _not_ be another ‘in the name of love’ thing or I swear I’m gonna-

 **Hot Eye:** -in the name of love. Oh yeah!

 **Racer:** GOD DAMMIT!!

 **Angel:** [clicks camera]

 **Racer:** Hey, delete that!

 **Angel:** Well I’m sorry Racer but that shot was just too good to pass up.

 **Racer:** Either you delete that photo or I’ll just take the camera.

 **Angel:** Just try it!

 **Midnight:** Or the both of you could shut up?

 **Cobra:** Oh, you’re awake?

 **Midnight:** Not even _I_ could sleep with the racket those two were making.

 **Cobra:** Well at least _you_ don’t have to listen at full volume.

 **Midnight:** True…

 **Cobra:** …

 **Cobra:** …We could kill them?

 **Jellal:** There will be no murdering in this guild.

 **Cobra:** We could temporarily resign, kill them and re-join to ‘repent for our sins’?

 **Jellal:** That’s, that’s just completely not how it works.

 **Cobra:** What do you think Midnight?

 **Jellal:** Stop ignoring me!

 **Midnight:** Let’s not, I can’t be bothered.

 **Jellal:** …I give up with you two.

 **Brain:** I’m not pleased with this, not pleased at all.

 **Midnight:** Nobody cares what you think, you’re already dead anyway.

 **Cobra:** Yeah, so can I at least kill _him_ then?

 **Jellal:** [facepalms]


	130. Chapter 130

**You’ve just caught Rufus and Orga making out in the closet!**

(As requested by Shiroyamimaru)

 

 **Dobengal:** …Why is it always me? As if seeing everyone else at it all the time wasn’t enough…

 **Yukino:** [blushes and leaves them alone]

 **Minerva:** So I see I’m not the only one who uses this place for… stuff.

 **Sting:** Hey Rogue, look! These guys are totally copying us!

 **Rogue:** Then we should go away.

 **Sting:** But-!

 **Rogue:** If you think they’re copying what we’ve done, then we should _go away_.

 **Sting:** … _Oh_.

 **Freed:** I’m… not entirely sure why I’m seeing this.

 **Laxus:** …Okay that’s it; I’m never visiting Sabertooth again.

 **Bickslow:** Hey Ever! Come check this out!

 **Evergreen:** Bickslow, I’m going to get you back for this.

 **Bickslow:** Aww, you know you love me.

 **Evergreen:** I’m sure I’ll like you a lot better as a statue.

 **Bickslow:** Hey, you didn’t deny it!

 **Evergreen:** …

 **Mirajane:** How did my matchmaking senses not pick up on this?

 **Lisanna:** It might’ve been a spur of the moment thing?

 **Mirajane:** Scandalous! I like it.

 **Jiemma:** Ugh. I leave the guild and this is what it becomes.

[Orga on Jiemma violence!]

 **Orga:** You can feel free to get back to ‘leaving the guild’ at any time now.

 **Gajeel:** My fellow singer’s living the high life; I guess that means there’s hope for me yet.

 **Levy:** Keep telling yourself that.

 **Jet and Droy:** Does he seriously think this is the ‘high life’?

 **Gajeel:** The lot of you can all be quiet now.

 **Levy, Jet and Droy:** No.

 **Gajeel:** …

 **Natsu:** …Okay but why did _I_ have to see this?

 **Gajeel:** Main characters are usually somehow involved in everything.

 **Natsu:** Well how’s that fair?

 **Gajeel:** It’s not meant to be.

 **Natsu:** …

 **Erza:** Mirajane, you got photos right?

 **Mirajane:** Erza, just who do you take me for?

 **Erza:** …?

 **Mirajane:** Of _course_ I got photos!

 **Erza:** _Yes_!

 **Rufus:** …

 **Orga:** …

 **Rufus:** …You have to appreciate the… _passion_ , of yaoi fangirls.

 **Orga:** Do I have to?

 **Rufus:** You should unless you want those two to kill you.

 **Erza and Mirajane:** [smiles]

 **Orga:** …I see your point.


	131. Chapter 131

**Hey everyone! Lucy is pregnant!**

(As requested by PalaDude234)

 

 **Mirajane:** WHO’S THE FATHER??? I NEED TO KNOW!!!

 **Erza:** Mira calm down, yes we should find out who-

 **Mirajane:** I, can’t, calm, down, I REALLY NEED TO KNOW!

 **Erza:** Well, we could just ask Lucy…

 **Mirajane:** LUCY WHO IS IT?! TELL ME PLEASE?!

 **Lucy:** Alright Mira, just give me a moment.

 **Levy:** Wow Lu, how come this is the first I’ve heard of anything?

 **Lucy:** He kinda wanted to keep everything secret; he thought that made things more fun.

 **Levy:** Ah I understand, just know that I’m happy for you.

 **Lucy:** Thanks Levy!

 **Gajeel:** Wow. I can practically see the flowers and sparkles around you two.

 **Levy:** There’s no need to be such a sourpuss.

 **Gajeel:** …Who me?

 **Cana:** Bring out the drinks! This is something to celebrate!

 **Laxus:** Just make sure blondie doesn’t have any, you shouldn’t take the chance.

 **Cana:** Aww that’s so sweet, you’re just a big softie deep down, aren’t you?

 **Laxus:** I don’t know _what_ you’re talking about.

 **Cana:** _Sure_ you don’t.

 **Gray:** Am I seriously going to be the first person to congratulate Lucy?

 **Lucy:** Apparently so. Thanks Gray.

 **Gray:** No problem, I just hope everything turns out ok for you.

 **Lucy:** Yeah, I’ve been a little worried, but mainly I’m trying to focus on the ‘being happy’ side for now.

 **Gray:** Probably a good idea.

 **Alzack:** Ah, this brings back memories.

 **Bisca:** Yeah, but this time we can make sure Lucy has help!

 **Alzack:** And Asuka could play with someone closer to her age.

 **Warren:** Well they certainly seem excited.

 **Max:** We all are.

 **Laki:** Yeah this is gonna be fantastic!

 **Kinana:** I wonder if it’ll be a boy or girl.

 **Makarov:** I can’t believe this, I’m gonna be a grandfather!

 **Laxus:** …

 **Makarov:** But of course I still love you, Laxus.

 **Laxus:** …

 **Max:** You see my point.

 **Warren:** I guess so.

 **Yukino:** Congratulations Lucy, I hope everything goes well.

 **Lucy:** Thanks Yukino.

 **Yukino:** You’re welcome, just, are you sure you’re ready for a child? Have you got everything you need? Is the father going to take responsibility? Do you-?

 **Lucy:** Don’t worry, I have everything figured out.

 **Layla:** My little girl’s all grown up now, and having a child… [teary eyes] I’m so proud.

 **Jude:** Agreed, though I still feel she’s a bit young, I should probably start threatening the boy who did this to her.

 **Layla:** Perhaps, I wonder who it is anyway…?

 **Sting:** Hey Yukino! Does Natsu seem weird to you too? He’s just standing there with a proud grin on his face.

 **Everyone:** …

 **Natsu:** …[smiles]


	132. Chapter 132

**Rufus and Orga are engaged!**

(As requested by Shiroyamimaru)

 

 **Dobengal:** I was this expecting this with Sting and Rogue first, I’ll admit.

 **Minerva:** Me too actually, though obviously I’m still happy for these two.

 **Yukino:** Yes! This is going to be so exciting, there’s so much to do.

 **Yukino:** Unless Rufus deals with it all by himself of course.

 **Minerva:** He won’t if I tell him not to, I’d like a part in all of this.

 **Yukino:** My lady… are your eyes sparkling?

 **Minerva:** …No?

 **Yukino:** Really? I could have sworn I saw you blushing a bit too…

 **Minerva:** …So has anybody congratulated them yet? Congratulations Orga and Rufus.

 **Rufus:** Thank you milady, but we can all see how excited you are about this.

 **Minerva:** …Am not.

 **Laxus:** I suppose this is _kind_ of interesting, though I could have lived without hearing about this.

 **Freed:** Perhaps you could’ve, but _I’d_ like to know just how the proposal happened.

 **Laxus:** Well that’s something _you_ want to know, it totally didn’t cross my mind whatsoever.

 **Orga:** Heh. Softie.

 **Laxus:** …Am not.

 **Freed:** So Rufus, about how the proposal went-?

 **Erza:** The details of the past aren’t important right now, what truly matters is what cake you want to get for the wedding.

 **Erza:** After all, the cake is most important.

 **Rufus:** We haven’t thought that far ahead just yet.

 **Erza:** Never mind then, I’ll deal with it and find you the best strawberry cake there is!

 **Lucy:** Wouldn’t you just eat something like that?

 **Erza:** Well at least the cake would’ve been dealt with.

 **Lucy:** …So this guild’s just as crazy as ever.

 **Lucy:** Yay.

 **Jura:** ‘Yay’ indeed, this is a marvellous occasion!

 **Lucy:** I didn’t realize you’d be so enthusiastic for something like this.

 **Jura:** We live in dark times Miss Heartfilia. Let’s focus on the joy while we can.

 **Orga:** …This guy completely crushed me at the Grand Magic Games, why is it so hard to hold a grudge against him?

 **Laxus:** Aww, now look at who’s the softie.

 **Orga:** …Am not.


	133. Chapter 133

**Lyon and Gray are getting married!**

(As requested by Shiroyamimaru)

 

 **Mirajane:** I NEED DETAILS IMMEDIATELY!!

 **Erza:** Mira, calm down a-

 **Mirajane:** I CAN’T CALM DOWN ERZA, GRAY’S GETTING MARRIED!

 **Mirajane:** [wipes tear from eye] I’m so proud.

 **Makarov:** Ah, one of my precious children, growing up… moving on… leaving me… I never really thought any of them would get married.

 **Alzack and Bisca:** So do we just not exist to you people anymore?

 **Natsu:** Well I guess after growing up with him, Lyon would be the only one stupid enough to want to put up with Gray.

 **Gray:** Was that _really_ called for?

 **Natsu:** Probably not, but it was fun to see how you’d react anyway.

 **Gray:** Are you seriously trying to start a fight right now?

 **Natsu:** Well, obviously.

 **Gray:** Why you-! [goes to roll up his sleeves]

 **Cana:** Gray, your clothes.

 **Gray:** God DAMMIT!

 **Lucy:** I’m really happy for you Gray! It’s so nice; I’ve never been to a wedding before.

 **Lyon:** I’m afraid you’ll be without a date though; we are not intending to invite Natsu.

 **Lyon:** We don’t need to pay for repair damages.

 **Lucy:** …Why would you assume Natsu would be my date?

 **Cana:** Well if you’re not going to go with him, can _I_ take you along?

 **Lucy:** Uh… so anyway, congratulations you guys!

 **Erza:** It is quite fantastic; nothing really feels better than seeing two people bond together in holy matrimony.

 **Lucy:** Erza, your eyes are sparkling.

 **Erza:** We’ve not had anyone like that, okay?!

 **Alzack and Bisca:** We are standing _right_ next to you.

 **Oba:** If that Fairy hurts my guild’s ace, he’s gonna spin!

 **Toby:** Calm down old woman, Gray wouldn’t even be able to touch Lyon.

 **Yuka:** Then what are they planning for their honeymoon?

 **Wendy:** Why, what do people usually do on their honeymoons?

 **Yuka:** When you’re older Wendy.

 **Juvia:** So if Gray-sama is going to get married to someone other than Juvia… then Juvia will show her support by moving on and getting married too!

 **Juvia:** Love rival!

 **Lucy:** Why is it always me?!

 **Juvia:** Gray-sama can’t be the only married person in the guild!

 **Alzack and Bisca:** WE ARE _RIGHT_ HERE!


	134. Chapter 134

**Mystogan and Laxus are dating!**

(As requested by Shiroyamimaru)

 

 **Freed:** …

 **Evergreen:** Okay but isn’t that going to be a little hard now?

 **Bickslow:** Yeah, I mean talk about long distance relationships!

 **Freed:** …

 **Mirajane:** Well maybe that’ll be good for them? The last time they saw one another, they fought?

 **Natsu:** Hey! Since when is fighting a bad thing?!

 **Mirajane:** …So do you _think_ before you speak or…?

 **Natsu:** If you ever find out, tell me.

 **Mirajane:** …

 **Natsu:** But in the meantime, Laxus fight me!

 **Laxus:** No. Go flirt with Gray like you normally do.

 **Natsu:** …What about how I act around Gray seems like flirting to you?

 **Laxus:** Well, your constant fights obviously. Isn’t that how it works?

 **Natsu:** NO!

 **Laxus:** You sure about that?

 **Natsu:** …Shut up.

 **Edolas Erza:** My king? What is this exactly?

 **Mystogan:** Did it ever occur to you that maybe I am just super in love with him?

 **Edolas Erza:** I believed you were a different sort of character who did not show affection through violence?

 **Everyone:** THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!

 **Edolas Erza:** You are all far too defensive of that for me to believe you.

 **Everyone:** …Shut up.

 **Sugarboy:** Well, if what his majesty says is true, than I can _definitely_ understand why.

 **Hughes:** Sugarboy?

 **Sugarboy:** Well just look at him Hughes! Look _closely_.

 **Hughes:** …

 **Laxus:** …

 **Mystogan:** …

 **Hughes:** Okay, well I see your point.

 **Laxus:** …I am uncomfortable.

 **Mystogan:** Oh good, it’s not just me.

 **Freed:** Laxus?

 **Bickslow:** Freed! So you’re alive after all!

 **Freed:** So Laxus-

 **Bickslow:** Aww come on, don’t ignore me!

 **Freed:** [ignoring Bickslow] I’m just a little confused on why you’re together?

 **Laxus:** Well… [listing off reasons]

 **Laxus:** _And_ he made me scream even _before_ we got together.

 **Freed:** …

 **Freed:** …Well fuck.


	135. Chapter 135

**Freed is the lead singer of a punk rock band!**

(As requested by anon and eryis-creydull)

 

 **Everyone:** WHAT?!

 **Warren:** How?! Why?! Answers?

 **Freed:** As the title of this post says, I sing lead in a punk rock band.

 **Warren:** Not helpful!

 **Freed:** You asked for answers; I delivered them.

 **Warren:** Oh God you’re missing the point.

 **Bickslow:** Hey Freed! Why didn’t I know about any of this?

 **Freed:** I am sorry-?

 **Bickslow:** Aww come on man! You should’ve let me in on it, I would’ve come and done something with you!

 **Freed:** I shall keep that in mind for next time then.

 **Evergreen:** …I had hope for Freed, but no, it seems I am _completely_ surrounded by morons.

 **Bickslow:** You love us.

 **Gajeel:** Hey! Yo Freed! You think you could get me a gig sometime?

 **Everyone:** NO!

 **Orga:** And what about me?

 **Everyone:** Also no!

 **Gajeel and Orga:** …Rude.

 **Wendy:** I think it’s really cool; it’s always nice to have more music around.

 **Carla:** But we’ve never once seen him perform.

 **Wendy:** It’s always nice to have more musicians around.

 **Laxus:** …

 **Evergreen:** What is it Laxus?

 **Laxus:** Freed, what band do you play in?

 **Freed:** Seeing as the author is terrible at naming things, all I can tell you is that it’s your favourite.

 **Laxus:** …Excuse me; I’m going to be in shock for a while.

 **Laxus:** I had absolutely no idea I’d ever find you this cool.

 **Freed:** …Excuse me; I am also going to be in shock for a while.

 **Gajeel:** This is really strange now, I feel as if I _should_ look up to him…

 **Orga:** Well, if we haven’t heard about this until now, is his band really that good?

 **Gajeel:** It’s the lightning bastard’s favourite apparently.

 **Orga:** Do we trust his taste in music?

 **Laxus:** If you don’t trust my taste in music, at least trust the beating I can give you.

 **Gajeel and Orga:** Shutting up now.


	136. Chapter 136

**Fairy Tail Secret Santa**

(As requested by thegreatrhapsode)

 

**_Mirajane gets Lucy pictures of Natsu shirtless._ **

**Lucy:** WHY WOULD YOU THINK I’D WANT THAT?!

 **Mirajane:** Aside from the fact that you two are totally in love? Just _look_ at him Lucy!

 **Lucy:** …No comment.

 

**_Lucy gets Levy the latest bestseller._ **

**Levy:** Thank you so much Lucy! I’ve wanted to read this for ages!

 **Lucy:** It was all you’d talk about for ages.

 **Levy:** …This is probably going to be one of the few normal presents isn’t it?

 **Lucy:** With our guild? Yes.

 

**_Levy gets Reedus a palette and a new selection of brushes and paints._ **

**Reedus:** I’m just so happy I could cry!

 

**_Reedus gets Juvia a handmade portrait of Gray._ **

**Juvia:** JUVIA WILL LOVE THIS FOREVER!!

 **Gray:** …So what? Am I being replaced now?

 

**_Juvia gets Cana beer._ **

**Juvia:** Juvia was admittedly unsure what else Cana would like.

 **Cana:** Aww, but you know me so well, I love it!

 

**_Cana gets Freed (revealing) underwear._ **

**Freed:** …

 **Cana:** For whenever you need Laxus’ attention!

 **Freed:** …

 **Bickslow:** Uh Cana? I think you broke him.

 **Cana:** But how?

 

**_Freed gets Kinana a new dress._ **

**Kinana:** Oh it’s so pretty! I love it!

 **Freed:** …

 **Kinana:** Still in shock huh?

 

**_Kinana gets Laki blueprints (as a reference for her Wood Make)._ **

**Laki:** Ooh, I’m going to have a lot of fun with these. [smirk]

 **Kinana:** …Why am I getting chills?

 

**_Laki gets Max a spare broom._ **

**Kinana:** …Should we really be encouraging this sort of thing?

 **Laki:** What do you mean?

 **Kinana:** He’s dancing with it.

 **Laki:** But he looks so happy.

 

**_Max gets Laxus a comb._ **

**Max:** I mean, his new hairstyle has to be because of static electricity, right?

 **Laxus:** Okay, now you die.

 **Raijinshuu:** LAXUS NO!

 

**_Laxus gets Natsu a box of matches._ **

**Natsu:** Wow. You _really_ didn’t care about this, did you?

 **Laxus:** Not even a little.

 

**_Natsu gets Gray a belt._ **

**Natsu:** So you can try and keep that habit under control.

 **Natsu:** Though I guess you _would_ find a way to strip, even with this.

 **Gray:** I’M NOT EVEN THAT BAD ANYMORE!

 

**_Gray gets Erza a tiara._ **

**Gray:** I was considering a weapon but she has too many already.

 **Gray:** And she’s already got enough clothes too.

 **Gray:** So I figured I’d get her this, to go with her ‘Queen of the Fairies’ and ‘Guild Master’ titles.

 **Erza:** I WILL BE THE PRETTIEST PRINCESS EVER!!

 **Makarov:** So I don’t get a tiara or a crown?

 **Erza:** You had that funny jester hat.

 **Makarov:** …

 

**_Erza gets Mirajane a portrait of Lucy and Natsu kissing (she commissioned Reedus)._ **

**Mirajane:** Erza, you are the greatest friend ever.

 **Erza:** I know!

 **Lucy:** …

 **Natsu:** …

 **Lucy and Natsu:** No comment.


	137. Chapter 137

**Who does what to prepare for Christmas in Fairy Tail?**

(As requested by thegreatrhapsode)

 

 **Elfman:** I’m getting the tree of course! That’s the job of a real man!

 **Lisanna:** But don’t you want to help me and Mira with the cooking?

 **Elfman:** I’d love to but my job as the man of the guild comes first.

 **Lisanna:** Aww, that’s too bad, I was hoping you could help us out…

 **Elfman:** …Maybe I could find time to help out later?

 **Lisanna:** Yay!

 **Wendy:** I’m going to help with the desserts!

 **Erza:** And I, um, of course, shall supervise.

 **Carla:** You’re not going to be getting at the cakes before anyone else Erza!

 **Erza:** Would I do that?

 **Everyone:** Yes.

 **Erza:** …Rude.

 **Gray** I’m going to wait until all the tables are set before making the ice sculptures Mira asked for.

 **Alzack:** There are a lot of people working-

 **Bisca:** -And we’d like to help…

 **Alzack:** But we’d probably get in the way.

 **Bisca:** So we’re going to take all the younger members outside for a snowball fight!

 **Asuka and Romeo:** Awesome!

 **Happy:** I’ll probably come too; there isn’t much I can do to help.

 **Carla:** But passing snowball ammunition to children is helpful?

 **Happy:** Well why wouldn’t it be?

 **Carla:** …I’ll be coming too.

 **Happy:** Really?!

 **Carla:** Yes, but _only_ to even out the playing field.

 **Levy:** I’m probably going to be telling stories; I’m too short to put up decorations.

 **Pantherlily:** Well, I could always-

 **Gajeel:** I could give you a boost up!

 **Pantherlily:** …You’re not subtle, you know that right?

 **Gajeel:** I surely have no idea what you’re talking about.

 **Pantherlily:** …

 **Cana:** I’m making eggnog!

 **Mirajane:** Is that really a good idea? You always put too much alcohol in.

 **Cana:** THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH ALCOHOL!

 **Elfman:** …I disagree.

 **Cana:** THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH ALCOHOL EXCEPT FOR THE LIGHTWEIGHT!

 **Bickslow:** I’ve got the mistletoe to put up.

 **Evergreen:** Yes, okay, but why have you hidden a camera behind your back?

 **Bickslow:** To snap pictures of you and your boyfriend of course!

 **Evergreen:** ELFMAN ISN’T MY BOYFRIEND!

 **Bickslow:** Well okay, but I’m not the one who brought him up.

 **Evergreen:** …I hate you.

 **Bickslow:** No you don’t~

 **Laxus:** Mira put me in charge of the fairy lights, but they keep blowing out for some reason.

 **Freed:** …Laxus? Why don’t you let me handle the lights?

 **Laxus:** Fine.

 **Freed:** Wait? Are you… pouting?

 **Laxus:** No!

 **Wendy:** Mira and Lisanna are a little overloaded with work in the kitchen.

 **Kinana:** I’ve been helping out a bit, but there’s still so much.

 **Wendy:** So I think I’m going to try and just do whatever I can now! The cakes are in the oven anyway!

 **Mirajane:** I sent Max and Warren to find the decorations for the tree a while back, but they haven’t come back yet.

 **Warren and Max:** We can’t find the angel for the tree topper!

 **Mirajane:** Don’t worry! There’s one right here!

 **Carla:** You can’t have Wendy sit on top of the tree!

 **Mirajane:** Aww, but it would’ve been cute.

 **Natsu:** I’m not allowed to do anything, that’s so not fair!

 **Erza:** You destroy everything you touch, just sit in the corner and try not to break anything.

 **Natsu:** Well what if I lose some of my Christmas spirit, having to sit in the corner all the time?

 **Erza:** Well if thinking of the food isn’t enough to keep you in check, can you just try to keep as much spirit as possible? Sing a carol or something.

 **Natsu:** …

 **Natsu:** Bah humbug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays!


	138. Chapter 138

**Fairy Tail pairs under the mistletoe**

(As requested by anon)

 

**_Natsu and Lucy:_ **

**Lucy:** H-how did this happen?!

 **Happy:** Come on you lovebirds!

 **Lucy:** Dammit Happy!

 **Natsu:** Aww come on Lucy, I don’t really see the big problem.

 **Lucy:** I guess it isn’t the end of the world…?

 **Happy:** Well now you’ve realized that; kiss.

 **Lucy:** NO WAY!

 **Natsu:** ????

 

**_Gray and Juvia:_ **

**Gray:** Well… I was going to kiss her so Mirajane wouldn’t kill me, but she’s passed out from excitement.

 

**_Gajeel and Levy:_ **

**Gajeel:** This is uncomfortable.

 **Levy:** Well, you’re too tall, bend down.

 **Gajeel:** That’d hurt my neck, stay still and I’ll pick you up.

 **Levy:** Wait, what?!

 **Gajeel:** I’ll pick you up.

 **Pantherlily:** If that’s what you’re trying to do, then you should probably use a better line than that.

 **Gajeel:** SHUT UP LILY!

 **Levy:** OH MY GOD ARE YOU RECORDING THIS?!

 **Pantherlily:** _Maybe_.

 

**_Jellal and Erza:_ **

**Jellal:** I am confused as to how I’m here.

 **Erza:** Let’s call it the power of Mirajane and her matchmaking schemes and leave it at that?

 **Jellal:** Probably a good id- Wait? Are you blushing?

 **Erza:** No!

 **Jellal:** But I could swear that your face is bright red-

 **Erza:** I’M NOT BLUSHING YOU’RE BLUSHING!

 **Jellal:** Well… true.

 **Mirajane:** [snaps a photo]

 **Erza:** Mira!

 

**_Natsu and Lisanna:_ **

**Lisanna:** Wow Natsu, looks like you’ll finally get to give me that kiss now!

 **Natsu:** W-when did I promise you one?

 **Lisanna:** It kinda comes with the territory when two people get married.

 **Natsu:** I-I never agreed to that!

 **Happy:** Natsu you’re blushing.

 **Natsu:** Hey shut up Happy!

 

**_Freed and Laxus:_ **

**Freed:** I will admit, I am incredibly confused on how we got here.

 **Laxus:** Well Bickslow’s cackling, so I’m going to assume he’s the reason why.

 **Laxus:** I’m gonna kill him.

 **Laxus:** …Freed are these runes?

 **Freed:** …

 

**_Sting and Rogue:_ **

**Rogue and Sting:** What? There’s something different about this?

 **Sting:** We kiss enough as it is.

 **Rogue:** Yes well know we just have to do it under this plant, so let’s get it over with before Minerva manages to get her camera out.

 

**_Wendy and Chelia:_ **

**Wendy:** I can’t believe we got pulled under here! This is a little embarrassing.

 **Chelia:** Well we don’t have to do anything too intense, so we should be fine.

 **Wendy:** Right, but let’s not let Carla see.

 **Chelia:** Of course, we’ll do this quietly, for love!

 

**_Lyon and Gray:_ **

**Lyon:** I am never coming to Fairy Tail to party again if this is what’s going to happen.

 **Gray:** Well let’s just get it over with? Mira’s giving me the evil eye.

 **Lyon:** So what? You’re scared of her?

 **Gray:** Take a proper look at her right now and tell me she doesn’t terrify you.

 **Lyon:** She doesn’t terrify me.

 **Gray:** Liar.

 **Lyon:** Yes. Absolutely yes. Let’s hurry up and kiss now.

 

**_Elfman and Evergreen:_ **

**Elfman:** Ever?! I- You- How- What?

 **Evergreen:** We have to kiss you big dolt.

 **Elfman:** Well of course a real man always does as he’s supposed to do.

 **Evergreen:** Let’s keep it simple? Bickslow’s got his eyes on us and I don’t want to give him too much blackmail material.

 **Elfman:** Sure thing Ever.

 

**_Mirajane and Cana:_ **

**Mirajane:** Oh! It seems I’ve been pushed under one of these too?

 **Cana:** I think it’s payback for matchmaking everyone else.

 **Mirajane:** Well, then I suppose we’ll just have to kiss now, won’t we?

 **Cana:** Yes! Come here girl!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays everyone! I hope you have a great day! -yugiohrox


	139. Chapter 139

**Bacchus and Minerva are dating!**

(As requested by lightningcards)

 

 **Yukino:** Well I’m very… happy, for you milady?

 **Minerva:** Why the uncertainty?

 **Yukino:** This man hasn’t, um, he hasn’t-

 **Elfman:** He hasn’t exactly got the best track record when it comes to treating women respectfully.

 **Bacchus:** There was a time-skip recently, maybe I got better?

 **Elfman:** I’m not gonna believe that until I see it.

 **Bacchus:** Fair’s fair.

 **Sting:** Well, you certainly have a unique taste Minerva. Bacchus is… quite a guy.

 **Minerva:** I am completely aware that you don’t approve.

 **Sting:** Just don’t let him do anything you don’t want him to?

 **Minerva:** Do you honestly think that he could do anything to me that I didn’t want him to?

 **Sting:** Oh, right, my mistake!

 **Rogue:** I suppose I’ll be the first to say it then; congratulations to the both of you.

 **Minerva:** Thank you Rogue.

 **Bacchus:** Oh yeah, things are about to get _wild_!

 **Sting:** …And you’re sure you want to date him?

 **Minerva:** Quite sure.

 **Sting:** Alright then, as long as you’re sure, I really am sure that you’re sure that you’re sure-

 **Minerva:** Yes, quite sure Sting.

 **Sting:** Are you su-?

 **Minerva:** _Sting_!

 **Sting:** Shutting up now.

 **Rocker:** Wow, I knew Bacchus was awesome, but I never expected him to get a girl this cool! She’s almost as great as him!

 **Minerva:** …We might have issues.

 **Bacchus:** _Anyway_ , I say we party to celebrate getting together! Drinks all around!

 **Cana:** I’m in!

 **Yukino:** Oh, I’m not much of a drinker…

 **Cana:** I can set you up with something light if you want?

 **Yukino:** Couldn’t I just go home?

 **Minerva:** I would appreciate having another girl to talk to, from what I’ve seen of Bacchus’ guild, they get rather rowdy.

 **Cana:** What? I don’t count as another girl to keep you away from ‘rowdy’ all of a sudden?

 **Minerva:** …

 **Yukino:** …

 **Cana:** Okay I take your point.


	140. Chapter 140

**Zeref gets mad at Gray for insulting Natsu.**

(As requested by the-archangel-of-zeref)

 

 **Gray:** …Calm down Gray, there’s just a black wizard glaring at you with killing intent, it probably doesn’t mean anything.

 **Zeref:** No it definitely means something, I am quite angry with you.

 **Gray:** But why?!

 **Zeref:** It has come to my attention that you often call my younger brother an idiot.

 **Zeref:** I am displeased.

 **Gray:** I didn’t know you _had_ a brother! You can’t be mad at me for that!

 **Zeref:** As my current emotion and evil red eyes suggest, oh yes I can.

 **Gray:** …Well that’s just not fair.

 **Zeref:** Neither is life, get over it.

 **Zeref:** Or don’t, I plan on killing you anyway.

 **Gray:** Oh come on! Who is your brother anyway?

 **Zeref:** Natsu.

 **Gray:** …wut?

 **Zeref:** Natsu, Natsu Dragneel? You should know him considering how shippy you two seem to be most of the time.

 **Gray:** Alright you have to be lying, there’s no way that Natsu, the guy I’ve been fighting since we were kids, is _your_ brother.

 **Zeref:** I was unaware of the fighting, that’s another reason to be angry at you.

 **Gray:** Well it’s not like I wasn’t being punched in the face too!

 **Zeref:** Natsu punched you in the face? Go him.

 **Gray:** So… you won’t kill me now right?

 **Zeref:** No, I’m definitely still mad.

 **Zeref:** So prepare yourself for death.

 **Gray:** Uh, have you heard about the time Natsu beat up Gajeel of Phantom Lord?

 **Zeref:** He was fighting that intensely with Gajeel? That’s curious.

 **Gray:** …You know Gajeel?

 **Zeref:** As far as plot goes, I can’t tell you yet.

 **Zeref:** And it wouldn’t matter anyway, seeing as you’re about to die and all.

 **Gray:** Oh hey! Is that Acnologia over there?

 **Zeref:** If you are attempting to distract me so you can run away, it is not going to work.

 **Gray:** …Well crud.


	141. Chapter 141

**Rogue and Gajeel are dating!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Sting:** Well I knew you always looked up to him Rogue, but I didn’t realize you meant it like this.

 **Rogue:** Well I didn’t exactly tell you…

 **Sting:** Eh whatever, I’m cool with it! As long as it’s what makes you happy then I’m happy.

 **Sting:** I’m totally not going to go and cry in a corner or anything. Not gonna do that at all.

 **Sting:** Not me.

 **Rogue:** Sting, are you okay?

 **Sting:** Of course, why would you think otherwise?

 **Rogue:** …Oh, no reason.

 **Levy:** …So Rogue, huh Gajeel?

 **Gajeel:** It’s not what it looks like?

 **Levy:** It looks like your dating a younger, better looking version of yourself.

 **Gajeel:** …No?

 **Gajeel:** And what do you mean better looking?!

 **Levy:** Well, he has proper eyebrows at least.

 **Gajeel:** What’s wrong with my eyebrows?

 **Levy:** You don’t really have any.

 **Gajeel:** …Rude.

 **Yukino:** You’ve always admired Gajeel, Rogue; congratulations on getting to ‘admire’ him.

 **Rogue:** Yukino why would you go there!?

 **Yukino:** _Someone_ was going to, and Sting’s too busy huddling in the corner and crying to do it like he usually would.

 **Rogue:** So you _had_ to step up and make the stupid comment in his place?

 **Yukino:** Apparently so.

 **Rogue:** …

 **Mirajane:** As Fairy Tail’s resident matchmaker, it seems fit that I’m the first person to congratulate you two without any double meanings!

 **Gajeel:** Sting congratulated us first.

 **Mirajane:** Are we really counting that though?

 **Gajeel:** I take your point.

 **Orga:** He’s dating Gajeel? I always thought he had a thing with Sting.

 **Rufus:** I am fairly certain we all did.

 **Minerva:** I’m pretty sure that just means they were strong friends, if we all thought they were gay for one another.

 **Orga and Rufus:** True, there is that saying.

 **Rogue:** …You guys actually kind of suck, you know that right?

 **Orga, Rufus and Minerva:** Yes.

 **Rogue:** …Rude.


	142. Chapter 142

**If Laxus got a cat…**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Happy:** It doesn’t have to be me does it?! I’d be terrified if I had to Laxus’ cat!

 **Natsu:** How come? He’s not scary.

 **Happy:** It’s Laxus!

 **Natsu:** So? Laxus isn’t a badass, Laxus is a giant dork.

[electricity crackling]

 **Natsu:** Laxus is a giant dork who can also be a badass.

 **Laxus:** Hmph.

 **Mirajane:** If you want Laxus, I can get you a cat? We could go shopping together!

 **Laxus:** Thanks but no thanks.

 **Mirajane:** Aww…

 **Bickslow:** I don’t see why he needs or wants a cat.

 **Evergreen:** Maybe he wants a soft, cuddly companion who can scratch and claw when needs be?

 **Bickslow:** But he’s already got Freed for that!

 **Freed:** …

 **Evergreen:** Well yes, that’s true.

 **Evergreen:** But still.

 **Wendy:** Would it be an Exceed? I think all the Dragon Slayers should have one, they’re so wonderful!

 **Cobra:** Well I don’t want a stinking cat.

 **Carla and Pantherlily:** Okay, prepare to die.

 **Wendy and Levy:** No!

 **Erza:** I’ll admit Laxus, I never saw you as the pet type.

 **Laxus:** Maybe I want a change of pace?

 **Natsu:** Or maybe you’re just a giant dork?

 **Laxus:** You are practically begging to be shocked to death.

 **Natsu:** Fighting is fun, okay?

 **Erza:** No fighting in the guild hall!

 **Laxus and Natsu:** Yes ma’am.

 **Gajeel:** Heh. Look at you, you try to come off as badass and tough, but really you’re a big softie who wants a little kitty.

 **Laxus:** Shut up metal head, you cried because you didn’t have a cat.

 **Pantherlily:** …Really Gajeel?

 **Gajeel:** THAT NEVER HAPPENED DAMN IT!

 **Laxus:** Canon evidence says otherwise.

 **Pantherlily:** I am so disappointed.

 **Gajeel:** EVERYBODY SHUT UP!

 **Everyone:** No.

 **Gajeel:** …Then can we at least go back to teasing Laxus now?

 **Everyone:** Also no.

 **Gajeel:** …I hate this guild.


	143. Chapter 143

**Reverse ‘Fans ship you’ with Zeref!**

(As requested by anon)

 

**_So Zeref, how do you feel about being shipped with…_ **

**…Natsu?**

“No.”

 

**…Lucy?**

“Have I ever met her? I’m almost certain she’s in love with my brother.”

 

**…Silver?**

“Who?”

 

**…Gildarts?**

“Who?”

 

**…Layla?**

“Are you really shipping me with someone who is, A: dead, and B: happily married to another man in canon?

 

**…Igneel?**

“How would you even expect that to work?”

 

**…Erza?**

“WHERE ARE YOU GETTING ALL THESE IDEAS FROM?!”

 

**…Cana?**

“No, that’s it, I give up, I’m done.”

 

**…Acnologia?**

“…What the fuck is wrong with you people?”

 

**…Mavis?**

“Finally! An option that makes sense. Precious Mavis, the love of my life, ship me with her to your heart’s content!”


	144. Chapter 144

**Natsu is dating Kyoka and Sayla!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Lucy:** …

 **Erza:** Natsu, explain.

 **Natsu:** I don’t suppose you’ll let me get away with the ‘just read the title’ line, will you?

 **Erza:** No, no I will not.

 **Natsu:** Well… when two beautiful ladies ask you to date them, it’s kind of hard to say no.

 **Lucy:** …

 **Erza:** Oh. Yes. Now that’s just _completely_ understandable.

 **Natsu:** You’re agreeing with me?

 **Erza:** Oh, but of course! Two beautiful ladies is understandable.

 **Erza:** Two demons however, is less so.

 **Natsu:** I disagree.

 **Erza:** Natsu-

 **Lucy:** Natsu what the hell are you thinking?!

 **Erza:** Are we really sure that he is?

 **Natsu:** …I just came here to share the good news and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.

 **Jackal:** Kyoka and Sayla are two hot demons! Why would they settle for a stupid pink haired loser like this guy?!

 **Kyoka:** Don’t insult our boyfriend just because you’re a bad loser.

 **Jackal:** …You know it’s really weird that you’re calling him your boyfriend.

 **Kyoka:** And you should know that it’s really weird you seem to think that I won’t obliterate you for insulting my _boyfriend_.

 **Jackal:** [sighs] I’ll just be quiet now.

 **Kyoka:** Good kitty.

 **Jackal:** …I’m not a kitty.

 **Kyoka:** Shut up kitty.

 **Jackal:** I’m _not_ a kitty!

 **Sayla:** I agree with Kyoka-sama.

 **Jackal:** I’M NOT A KITTY!

 **Torafusa:** You see, Kyoka and Sayla dating I could understand, but this guy randomly coming along is just confusing.

 **Mard Geer:** Mard Geer concurs.

 **Zeref:** Maybe we could stop criticizing these three on their relationship and finally say congratulations?

 **Mard Geer and Torafusa:** Yes Lord Zeref!

 **Natsu:** … _Yay_. The first support we get for this and it’s from the most evil and dangerous wizard of all time.

 **Zeref:** _Most_ evil is debatable.

 **Natsu:** Who’s worse than you then?

 **Zeref:** Acnologia does still exist you know.

 **Natsu:** …Okay I take your point.


	145. Chapter 145

**Silver and Natsu are dating!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Gray:** …

 **Lucy:** …

 **Lisanna:** …

 **(Ghost) Mika:** …

 **Gray:** What the actual fuck?

 **Silver:** Could you possibly say who you’re directing that to?

 **Gray:** Both of you!

 **Silver and Natsu:** Oh.

 **Gray:** Dad, you’re dead and meant to still love this very specific woman called my _mother_.

 **Gray:** And Natsu, this guy froze you and has to be at least three times your age.

 **Zeref:** That last thing might not be as true as you’d think.

 **Gray:** What are both of you thinking?

 **Zeref:** Don’t ignore me.

 **Silver:** Have you ever heard the phrase ‘like father, like son’? The reason you’re so shippy with him is because he’s totally my type.

 **(Ghost) Mika:** So what am I? Chopped liver?

 **Silver:** We don’t actually know what you were like though.

 **(Ghost) Mika:** Hmm, well I suppose that’s true.

 **Gray:** Oh God I hope you weren’t like Natsu.

 **(Ghost) Mika:** Gray, you know people often look for a partner like their parents.

 **Silver:** Oh dear, did I steal your potential boyfriend from you Gray?

 **Gray:** THAT IS SO NOT THE ISSUE HERE!

 **Lucy:** Natsu, why?

 **Lisanna:** Is it possible that kind of hairy, older men has been your type all along?

 **Gildarts:** …Should I be concerned about you flirting with me?

 **Natsu:** No!

 **Lucy and Lisanna:** Then what is it then?!

 **Natsu:** I can explain.

 **Lucy and Lisanna:** Then explain!

 **Natsu:** …Okay, I lied, I can’t explain.

 **Lucy:** …

 **Lisanna:** …

 **Lucy:** You could’ve told someone you swung that way at least.

 **Lisanna:** Ugh, my head hurts, I say we just leave this alone and go get ice-cream.

 **Lucy:** That sounds brilliant actually.

 **Natsu:** Well this sucks.

 **Gray:** What? Were you expecting to date my Dad and keep those two on the side?

 **Natsu:** No!

 **Gray:** Then what?!

 **Natsu:** …I can explain?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on this peculiar note, I'm going to say that you should _totally_ follow [the tumblr](http://ftlists.tumblr.com/) because I'm super close to 800 followers and really excited. There are little extra things there sometimes, like my reactions to new chapters, giveaways, contests and generally me being a dork *cough cough* which is always mildly amusing?


	146. Chapter 146

**Gray has turned into an Exceed!**

(As requested by AllAboutExceeds)

 

 **Erza:** How?! How is this possible?!

 **Lucy:** How is it possible that Gray got cuter?

 **Erza:** That wasn’t what I was going for but yes I’d like the answer to that too.

 **Juvia:** Gray-sama is a cat.

 **Gajeel:** You know he’s an Exceed now right? He’s at least better than a regular cat.

 **Juvia:** Gray-sama is a cat.

 **Gajeel:** Okay so she’s in shock.

 **Gajeel:** At least we know this shouldn’t be a problem, Exceeds are awesome.

 **Pantherlily:** I wonder though, does he have a battle form like mine?

 **Gajeel:** That should be interesting.

 **Levy:** Shouldn’t we be trying to find a way to turn him back to normal instead of fixing him further into Exceed form?

 **Gajeel:** …

 **Levy:** _Oh_ I get it now you bug softie.

 **Gajeel:** I’m not a softie, what are you talking about?

 **Levy:** I get it, you like Exceeds and Gray’s adorable and tiny now.

 **Gray:** Adorable, tiny and still able to hear all of you.

 **Lucy:** …Why is that so cute, Erza help me, I am so _weak_ for cute.

 **Erza:** Yes, and seeing as he may be stuck like this for a while, I suggest I be the one to take him home and look after him.

 **Erza:** I will be sure to provide the perfect balance of nurturing and cuddles.

 **Gray:** Can someone tell me how the wings work? I’d like to get away from here please.

 **Happy:** I don’t know if any of us could teach you, our wings came naturally to us.

 **Gray:** Oh so you’re here? Then where’s Natsu at?

 **Happy:** Oh he’s been taking pictures and getting Reedus to draw you before he broke down laughing over there.

 **Gray:** Can I scratch his eyes out? It’s okay if I scratch his eyes out, right Erza?

 **Erza:** Aww you’re so cute, you can do anything you want little one.

 **Gray:** …Being able to hurt Natsu had better be worth being called that.


	147. Chapter 147

**Gray and Cana are dating!**

(As requested by Violetfairy12)

 

 

 **Mirajane:** They always _have_ been close; I wonder how I didn’t pick up on this…?

 **Erza:** You were probably distracted with having to deal with Macao or Wakaba’s drinking.

 **Mirajane:** Yes you do raise a good point.

 **Macao:** Aw come on Erza.

 **Wakaba:** Yeah, is it really fair to blame us for this?

 **Erza:** Maybe not, but we’re going to do it anyway.

 **Macao and Wakaba:** Awww.

 **Gildarts:** …Do I kill him or not?

 **Lyon:** I may not know you very well, but I’d appreciate if you didn’t hurt Gray.

 **Gildarts:** Well seeing as I don’t really know you, I guess it’s fine for me to ignore what you say.

 **Lyon:** I suppose; fine then, ignore me, kill him and I’ll come and visit when they throw you in jail.

 **Lyon:** In jail where you are far away from your precious daughter and unable to protect her.

 **Gildarts:** …

 **Lyon:** So if you _don’t_ kill him, you can just easily show up and interrupt when things might be getting too intense between them.

 **Gildarts:** …He lives for now.

 **Gray:** Thanks, I think?

 **Lyon:** Don’t think about it, I’d rather you didn’t do anything with her too. I’m sure she’s a lovely young lady but…

 **Cana:** You’re a jealous little man who doesn’t like Gray being in a relationship with someone other than you?

 **Lyon:** I will deny ‘little’.

 **Gray:** But nothing else?!

 **Lucy:** Good for both of you! Gray’s pretty awesome, and you said you wanted a boyfriend Cana.

 **Cana:** About eight years ago, but I did say it.

 **Cana:** So Gray’s ‘pretty awesome’ huh?

 **Lucy:** D-don’t go getting at anything!

 **Juvia:** Juvia is very pleased for you Gray-sama.

 **Gray:** Really?

 **Juvia:** Yes, if Gray-sama’s happy, Juvia is happy.

 **Cana:** Can we get past the talking and go to the drinking now? I’m thirsty!

 **Gray:** That’s my girl.

 **Juvia:** …J-Juvia is happy…


	148. Chapter 148

**The dragon who killed Natsu and his parents was Igneel!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Lucy:** …So what? Everyone here is meant to assume what’s going on here?

 **Natsu:** Yeah pretty much.

 **Lucy:** So now, knowing all of this, do I freak out about an Igneel plotline or Natsu being dead first?

 **Wendy:** I’m freaking out about both!

 **Lucy:** Yeah that seems to be the best course of action.

 **Natsu:** Or we could all hold off on freaking out so somebody can explain all of this to us?

 **Lucy and Wendy:** Pretty sure the freaking out is happening anyway.

 **Natsu:** Well, you have a point.

 **Erza:** I’m surprised you aren’t more freaked out about this.

 **Natsu:** Pretty sure I’m in shock with now, it’ll come later.

 **Acnologia:** See now? I’m not a bad guy for killing Igneel; he was the one that killed the protagonist and family!

 **Zeref:** We all thought you were evil far before this development.

 **Acnologia:** Really?

 **Zeref:** _Yes_.

 **Acnologia:** Now why ever would you all think that?

 **Team Tenrou:** Oh I wonder why?

 **Acnologia:** Well sarcasm doesn’t really seem fair.

 **Makarov:** Could we get back to the issue that Natsu’s beloved father killed him and his family?

 **Erza:** That seems a rather upsetting topic.

 **Igneel:** Yes, perhaps we could ignore this small detail?

 **Zeref:** …That’s my family you killed you know.

 **Igneel:** So I’ll take that as a ‘no’?

 **Zeref:** Yes.

 **Igneel:** Aha! Yes we can ignore-

 **Natsu:** Oh God! Shock over now, Igneel! You killed me and my parents! Why?

 **Igneel:** I thought I taught you it’s rude to interrupt people Natsu.

 **Natsu:** _Igneel_.

 **Igneel:** …I may have gotten into a little fight with Acnologia at the time.

 **Natsu:** ‘May have’? So did you, or didn’t you?

 **Igneel:** Well how am I meant to know when nothing’s been revealed yet?

 **Natsu:** …

 **Zeref:** …

 **Natsu and Zeref:** Plot had better hurry up soon.


	149. Chapter 149

** Fairy Tail vs. the John Cena meme **

**Wendy** – Is always surprised by the loud music and jumps up.

 **Carla** – Always sees it coming and either loses interest or knows to cover her ears a little.

 **Erza** – Punches whatever she’s watching in shock.

 **Elfman** – Thinks John Cena is one of the manliest men there is, yells in excitement every time the meme pops up.

 **Mirajane** – Has grown to hate this meme because of Elfman’s love for John and the yells of excitement.

 **Lisanna** – Gets headaches alongside Mira but is too nice to ask Elfman to keep it down.

 **Evergreen** – Is not as nice as Lisanna and hits Elfman with her fan when he’s too loud.

 **Bickslow** – Loves it, he plays it everywhere to annoy people and play his pranks.

 **Laxus** – Doesn’t hear it anymore over the sound of him electrocuting Bickslow for trying to prank him.

 **Freed** – He usually drops his phone.

 **Meredy** – She’s like Bickslow and plays it randomly to annoy her guild mates at random times or to diffuse tension in the group.

 **Cobra** – Has promised to destroy this meme and everything it’s ever been played on.

 **Racer** – Has promised to help Meredy and use John Cena to drive Cobra mad.

 **Angel** – Has also decided to help out Meredy.

 **Midnight** – Is always asleep when it’s playing, so he never knows what the hell the guild is talking about.

 **Warren** – Manages to keep a mostly straight face after hearing it so much but is internally screaming and everybody knows he is weak for this meme.

 **Max** – Doesn’t hear it playing himself, he just knows it’s on somewhere because of Warren.

 **Laki** – Always mutters that _this_ is why she makes torture devices.

 **Kinana** – Doesn’t look at the phone or lacrima anyway.

 **Makarov** – Throws the player away.

 **Porlyusica** – Didn’t know it was possible to hate some humans more than she already did.


	150. Chapter 150

** Freed and Lisanna are dating! **

(As requested by VelocityRaptor)

 

 **Bickslow:** Well this isn’t how I thought the Strauss and Raijinshuu thing would work out at all!

 **Evergreen:** So what? You were interested in her?

 **Bickslow:** According to fans, apparently yes.

 **Bickslow:** But if Freed has Lisanna now, does that mean I get to date Mirajane?

 **Mirajane:** Absolutely not.

 **Bickslow:** Awww, that’s just mean.

 **Laxus:** …I will not kill the She Devil’s sister; I will not kill the She Devil’s sister.

 **Mirajane:** You can bet your ass you won’t.

 **Laxus:** I’m surprised _you_ aren’t trying to kill Freed.

 **Mirajane:** He’s one of the few guys in this guild I’d trust to look after my precious siblings.

 **Mirajane:** Elfman on the other hand…

 **Elfman:** He has to prove his manliness to me first!

 **Freed:** I’m sorry, was the time I almost killed you not a big enough demonstration?

 **Elfman:** …Shut up.

 **Erza:** Rest assured Mirajane that if Freed ever does your sister any harm, we will destroy him.

 **Mirajane:** I already said I was fine with this didn’t I?

 **Erza:** Not with those exact words.

 **Mirajane:** Oh, well then, I’m fine with this.

 **Laxus:** So could you possibly stop any death threats to Freed now please?

 **Erza:** …

 **Laxus:** …

 **Erza:** …Did you just say ‘please’?

 **Laxus:** Well so what if I did!?

 **Erza:** Who are you and what have you done with Laxus?

 **Natsu:** …

 **Lucy:** Oh that’s not a happy face, Natsu, are you okay?

 **Natsu:** Of course, just fine, I’m perfectly happy. I’m totally not screaming inside at all.

 **Lucy:** You aren’t fooling anyone, you know that.

 **Laxus:** Well if this is the case, Natsu come spar with me, I have some frustrations to let out.

 **Natsu:** I’m not really in the mood for fighting…

 **Lucy:** …Who are you and what have you done with Natsu?


	151. Chapter 151

** Erza and Jellal are eloping! **

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Mirajane:** Okay, it’s happening! I’m not ready, why elope I need to see this?!

 **Erza:** Well, I don’t think anyone would really like him in their churches; convicted felon and all.

 **Mirajane:** But you should have told me earlier so I can come with you!

 **Erza:** Mira, I think you’re missing the point of ‘eloping’.

 **Mirajane:** …Well that’s just mean.

 **Cobra:** Are they getting a honeymoon? Because I have conflicted feelings about that.

 **Angel:** And those feelings would be…?

 **Cobra:** Well, on the one hand, Jellal will be gone and those two will have _finally_ gotten together.

 **Angel:** And the second thing is…?

 **Cobra:** If they go with a ‘traditional’ honeymoon activity I’m gonna have to hear his thoughts about that.

 **Angel:** In which case I’m glad they’re getting married, it’s going to be hilarious watching you have to hear that.

 **Cobra:** …I hate you.

 **Angel:** No you don’t~

 **Laxus:** If they’re eloping, are we meant to be hearing about this?

 **Freed:** I think we can know about it, we just have generally nothing to do about it.

 **Bickslow:** but then who’s going to pull all the random jokes on them at their party? This isn’t fair, they deserve better!

 **Evergreen:** You’re only saying that because of the ‘Jokes to Tell at Weddings’ book you got lately.

 **Bickslow:** Well of course, I don’t know anybody else who’s getting married soon.

 **Erza:** If you had told anything like those jokes at my wedding, I’d have run you through.

 **Bickslow:** …So yeah, go ahead you crazy kids, elope.

 **Evergreen:** It’s probably for the best Bickslow.

 **Bickslow:** Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to wait for Laxus and Freed to get married now.

 **Freed:** Bickslow!

 **Laxus:** …

 **Bickslow:** What?


	152. Chapter 152

** In the future, Rogue killed Sting! **

(As requested by anon and anon)

 

 **Sting:** …

 **Rogue:** …

 **Lector:** …

 **Sabertooth:** …

 **Frosch:** [whimpering]

 **Sting:** Well that kinda seems like a dick move bro.

 **Rogue:** Oh come on, it’s not as if _I_ want to kill you!

 **Lector:** Well I dunno; maybe we should steer clear of Rogue for a little while Sting.

 **Yukino:** That doesn’t seem very fair Lector, what if hearing about this and you acting that way is what causes Rogue to kill Sting?

 **Lector:** _Oh_ damn, this is gonna be hard.

 **Frosch:** Fro thinks so too!

 **Rogue:** Not you too Frosch!

 **Minerva:** So in the matter of Rogue vs. Sting, Rogue is the stronger one?

 **Minerva:** Orga pay up.

 **Orga:** Way to lose me money Sting.

 **Sting and Rogue:** You bet on this?!

 **Minerva and Orga:** Of course.

 **Natsu:** So that Future Rogue guy would have killed Sting? Huh, who would have thought it? I’m totally not acting suspicious at all.

 **Erza:** …Natsu what do you know about this?

 **Natsu:** NOTHING! I mean what? I say, look at how blue the sky is, isn’t it pretty?

 **Erza:** Natsu, you’re really bad at this.

 **Natsu:** [sighs] I know.

 **Weisslogia:** So your boy is going to kill Sting then, Skiadrum?

 **Skiadrum:** It would seem so.

 **Rogue:** Hey! Things could turn out differently!

 **Future Rogue:** I suppose they could, knowledge of the future changes the future.

 **Rogue:** I have no idea who you are, but thank you!

 **Future Rogue:** And after all, killing Sting was something _I_ did.

 **Rogue:** …Wait.

 **Future Rogue:** But then again, I _am_ you so I guess you’re just screwed in general.

 **Rogue:** asdfghjkl You’re not helping!

 **Future Rogue:** Funny, I never said that was my intention, did I?

 **Rogue:** …Sting, if this is who I’m going to turn into, please kill me before I kill you.

 **Sting:** Sure thing!

 **Yukino:** You seem very happy about this idea.

 **Sting:** …I may be feeling a little bitter over the ‘Rogue killing me’ thing.

 **Rogue:** Oh come on!


	153. Chapter 153

** Mira is pregnant with Laxus’ child! **

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Erza:** MIRAJANE STRAUSS, WHY WAS I NOT AWARE YOU TWO WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP?!

 **Elfman:** WHY WASN’T I TOLD THAT THIS GUY WAS TOUCHING MY SISTER?!

 **Freed:** …

 **Mirajane:** To be fair, Erza, we might not even _be_ in a relationship.

 **Erza:** …Mirajane you have a child coming now, I sincerely hope this is a case of boyfriend and girlfriend.

 **Mirajane:** It probably is.

 **Erza:** Then why say you might not be?

 **Mirajane:** It admittedly wasn’t my best answer ever.

 **Elfman:** Big sis do I need to kill him!

 **Laxus:** Excuse you I was a perfect gentleman, she would’ve castrated me otherwise.

 **Mirajane:** Well, you’re not wrong.

 **Elfman:** …Ew.

 **Evergreen:** Hey, do you need to lie down.

 **Elfman:** Yeah, I think that might be good.

 **Bickslow:** Ever can lie down with ya, and then these two won’t be the only ones with big news~

 **Ever:** BICKSLOW!

 **Mirajane:** Laxus, I love your friends.

 **Laxus:** Yeah, they’re pretty awesome.

 **Freed:** …

 **Natsu:** Hey! Why’s Freed been in shocked silence all list?

 **Freed:** Oh, it’s nothing, I’m fine.

 **Freed:** Totally fine, and I’m very happy for you Laxus! I was just shocked by the news.

 **Freed:** I’ve even got a cradle for you two to let the baby sleep in!

 **Laxus:** Cool, but why do you have that?

 **Freed:** …Convenience?

 **Mirajane:** …Laxus it might be best not to ask any more.

 **Laxus:** I completely agree.

 **Makarov:** I’m gonna be a grandfather! Woohoo!

 **Mirajane:** Actually, the whole guild sees you as a grandfather instead of a father anyway.

 **Laxus:** And you actually _are_ _my_ grandfather so you’re actually going to be a great grandfather.

 **Makarov:** …Well now I just feel old.

 **Everyone:** You _are_ old.

 **Makarov:** …Rude.


	154. Chapter 154

**Unshown versions of Edolas characters.**

(As requested by anon and anon)

 

**_Kagura:_ **

  * Wears comfortable clothes over anything fancy, though she’s often seen in a tank top and shorts.
  * Only ever fights with long range weapons like a bow.
  * She’s incredibly rude and has no respect for her elders or guildmates.



 

**_Millianna:_ **

  * Cat.
  * I mean, seriously, Edolas version of Millianna _has_ to be a cat.
  * Just… cat.



 

**_Lyon:_ **

  * Wears as many coats and layers of clothing as Gray Surge.
  * A bit of a cry-baby actually, he’s often a bit of a pushover except when around Edolas’ Juvia.
  * Because then he’s a _complete_



 

**_Sting:_ **

  * Hates showing skin, he’s always wrapped up in at least a jumper, scarf and mittens.
  * Also hates: Rogue, the cold, animals of any kind and everyone and anything ever.
  * But because of the way he dresses, he is considered the most adorable ball of hate in Edolas (and hates everyone who tells him so).



 

**_Rogue:_ **

  * Sunny, shiny and always smiling, except around Sting because they hate each other’s guts.
  * Dresses in a muscle shirt all the time, showing skin is second nature (he practically has Earthland Gray’s stripping habit).
  * Fights easily with his fists, though he prefers to avoid confrontation altogether.



 

**_Jura:_ **

  * Big scaredy cat.
  * Rarely leaves the guild.
  * Really, he’s a giant teddy bear, though he has a habit of being snappy when he’s stressed too much.
  * #ProtectEdolasJura2k16



 

**_Yuka:_ **

  * Tall
  * Freaking giant.
  * Bigger than Elfman.
  * Like, I seriously can’t stress this enough.
  * Goes from ‘gentle giant to ‘gonna kill you’ pretty quickly.



 

**_Bacchus:_ **

  * Hasn’t touched alcohol once in his life.
  * Wants to politely court Cana.
  * Is afraid of fights.
  * Because the rest of the guild is just like him, everyone call him ‘Captain Coward’.



 

**_Orga:_ **

  * Will forever deny being ‘fun sized’ even though he’s tiny.
  * Dresses the same way as his Earthland counterpart.
  * He’ll fight you on anything and everything.
  * Apart from being short, the only difference between him and Orga in Earthland is that the Edolas version keeps his hair cut short.



 

**_Minerva:_ **

  * Very quiet and polite, best friends with Mirajane.
  * Friends with literally everyone (except Sting), which is good; they comfort her when she’s upset, which needs to happen a lot because she’s a bit of a cry-baby.
  * Modest.
  * Ships Sting and Rogue together.




	155. Chapter 155

**Jellal and Cobra are dating!**

(For Evilkitten3)

 

 **Angel:** [whistles appreciatively] Now this is where we’re getting to the good stuff.

 **Racer:** Yep, now we’ve got even _more_ stuff to tease Cobra about!

 **Angel:** Oh and there was so much already, this is just perfect!

 **Cobra:** …You’re not supposed to enjoy my relationship as much as I am, you know?

 **Angel:** Cobra, if you think that’s going to stop us from teasing you about every, little, thing, then you are sorely mistaken.

 **Cobra:** Jellal we need to get married soon.

 **Jellal:** …Do I want to ask why?

 **Cobra:** Look, I just need a decent excuse to get away from everyone for a while.

 **Jellal:** …Cobra no.

 **Cobra:** Cobra yes.

 **Meredy:** _Jellal_! Why didn’t you tell me you had a thing for him?!

 **Jellal:** I don’t have to tell you _everything_.

 **Meredy:** …Yes you do.

 **Jellal:** Who came up with that rule?

 **Meredy:** Me, and everyone else in the guild.

 **Jellal:** Only because they know you’ll tell them everything.

 **Meredy:** …Secrets can be a bad thing?

 **Jellal:** There is nothing bad about hiding a crush on my guild mate.

 **Cobra:** Aww, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing.

 **Jellal:** WE. ARE. DATING!!

 **Cobra:** _Still_.

 **Jellal:** …Can I change my mind about dating you?

 **Cobra:** At least wait until the list is over.

 **Jellal:** No promises.

 **Erza:** …

 **Mirajane:** Erza, are you okay?

 **Erza:** I am, I respect Jellal’s decision and support his relationship with Cobra.

 **Erza:** After all, I did encourage him to live for his fiancé. Though I obviously didn’t know it was Cobra.

 **Jellal:** …That is so _not_ what happened back then, this was not a thing back then.

 **Erza:** But it _had_ to have been, unless of course, you were lying to me?

 **Jellal:** Uh…

 **Meredy:** Yeah Jellal! Who _were_ you talking about back then?

 **Jellal:** …Can I go now?


	156. Chapter 156

**Rogue and Hisui are engaged!**

(As requested by clairvoyantxatu)

 

 **Sting:** WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN AND WHY AM I ONLY HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW?!

 **Rogue:** I wasn’t aware I was supposed to tell you these things.

 **Sting:** I’m your best friend; this is _exactly_ the stuff you’re meant to be telling me.

 **Rogue:** …Oh.

 **Rogue:** But Frosch is my best friend…

 **Sting:** …Oh.

 **Rogue:** Sting? Are you okay?

 **Sting:** The last few years of my life have been a lie. Nothing is okay anymore.

 **Rogue:** …Oh.

 **Yukino:** Congratulations Rogue! Even if you didn’t tell anyone about this relationship, we’re all happy for you.

 **Rufus:** Indeed, but are we sure he didn’t tell anyone?

 **Yukino:** Huh?

 **Rufus:** Well, he could’ve told us beforehand. After all, this is just a case of we’re only hearing about this new development now.

 **Orga:** My head hurts, can we just say ‘congratulations’ and leave it there?

 **Minerva:** …

 **Yukino:** Minerva?

 **Minerva:** …

 **Rogue:** Minerva, wha-?

 **Minerva:** I GET TO HELP PLAN THE WEDDING!

 **Rogue:** Eh-?

 **Minerva:** I WON’T HEAR ANY ARGUMENTS!

 **Hisui:** I’m fine with it; if we just hired someone to help it probably wouldn’t feel as friendly.

 **Rogue:** Then I guess you’ll be helping us out Minerva.

 **Minerva:** YES!

 **Sting:** Careful there Minerva, he _says_ you’re his friend, but he might turn around later and mean something completely different.

 **Minerva:** Sting, you’re being ridiculous.

 **Sting:** No, just bitter.

 **Rogue:** …You’re hopeless.

 **Toma:** Aww, my little girl’s getting married!

 **Arcadios:** Sir? Are you crying?

 **Toma:** Of course I’m crying! My little girl’s getting married.

 **Hisui:** Father I really don’t think it’s fair to call me little anymore.

 **Toma:** No matter what, you’ll always be my little girl!

 **Hisui:** I’m taller than you!

 **Toma:** Still! I’m your father and if that Rogue fellow turns out to be bad for you I won’t hesitate to rough him up!

 **Hisui:** Aren’t you a little old to engage in violence?

 **Toma:** …Then I’ll send Arcadios?

 **Arcadios:** It would be my greatest honour.

 **Hisui:** …You’re hopeless.


	157. Chapter 157

**The Edolas Fairy Tail has come to Magnolia!**

(As requested by martinthedragon, anon and anon)

 

 **Natsu:** Awesome! Hey buddy, how’re you doing!?

 **(Edolas) Natsu:** I-I’m fine, just please don’t touch me.

 **Natsu:** Wow, you’re about as fun as I remember.

 **Natsu:** So where’s your Lucy?

 **(Edolas) Natsu:** I think I saw her fighting with Levy over there?

 **Levy:** Lucy stop it! You’re being scary!

 **(Edolas) Lucy:** What’s with calling me ‘scary’ all of a sudden? You’ve gotten really pathetic.

 **(Edolas) Levy:** Hey! Don’t call one of me pathetic!

 **Levy:** Thanks for the help other me.

 **(Edolas) Levy:** Hmph, whatever, taking a look at you, you really are kinda pathetic.

 **Happy:** Hey scary Lucy, it’s good to see you again!

 **(Edolas) Lucy:** Don’t call me scary you stupid cat.

 **(Edolas) Levy:** It seems to me like you’re the stupid one Lucy.

 **(Edolas) Lucy:** What did you just say about me?!

 **(Edolas) Levy:** I called you stupid, stupid!

 **(Edolas) Lucy:** Grrr. Why you-!

 **Erza:** No fighting!

 **(Edolas) Lucy and (Edolas) Levy:** Yes ma’am.

 **Gajeel:** Hey! Where’s my counterpart!?

 **(Edolas) Levy:** Oh no he’s hot.

 **Levy:** …Hands off.

 **(Edolas) Levy:** Hmm, okay, so at least you aren’t _all_ pathetic.

 **Mirajane:** So I guess you’re my counterpart?

 **(Edolas) Mirajane:** Yep, that’d be me.

 **Mirajane:** Are things going well in your guild? I heard there was some trouble over there…

 **(Edolas) Mirajane:** Oh we’re mostly fine now, the guild’s been very happy lately.

 **Mirajane:** How lucky, things have been going downhill for us lately.

 **(Edolas) Mirajane:** Oh yeah, I heard something about a war…?

 **Mirajane:** That’s it, I’m just glad I have my little brother to help me out.

 **(Edolas) Mirajane:** Oh that’s nice. Actually, where’s _my_ little brother?

 **Mirajane:** I think I saw him over there with Elfman and Lisanna.

 **(Edolas) Mirajane:** Oh yeah, it looks like _my_ Elfman’s crying.

 **(Edolas) Elfman:** I’m just so happy to see my little sister again!

 **Elfman:** Hey! She’s _my_ sister. And stop with the tears, they’re not very manly.

 **(Edolas) Elfman:** I can’t help it, I’m just so happy to see her one more time!

 **Makarov:** That’s an issue actually. We don’t know how these Edolas people got here.

 **Porlyusica:** And we don’t know if they’re going to go back either, so would it really be ‘one more’ time?

 **Makarov:** Should we consider this a problem?

 **Porlyusica:** Well, when _I_ came to Earthland there weren’t really any issues.

 **Makarov:** Sure. No issues at all. Not one. Nuh-uh.

 **Porlyusica:** Watch your tongue you silly old man.

 **Makarov:** Yes ma’am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also follow the [ftlists tumblr](http://ftlists.tumblr.com/) for extra posts and events for followers.


	158. Chapter 158

**Acnologia and Cana are dating!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Gildarts:** …

 **Gildarts:** Cana, my sweet and precious child, please tell me you can explain this to me?

 **Cana:** I can explain this to you.

 **Gildarts:** Really?

 **Cana:** No, I can’t, I absolutely can’t.

 **Gildarts:** Then why…?

 **Cana:** I don’t know, he’s interesting and I bet he could keep up with me when I’m drinking.

 **Bacchus:** Well then you could’ve just dated _me_ then!

 **Acnologia:** Yes, I’m actually a lightweight.

 **Cana:** …

 **Cana:** I like that’s he interesting.

 **Gildarts:** …

 **Bacchus:** If it’s interesting you wanted, you still could’ve dated me.

 **Cana:** Yeah maybe, but he’s interesting as in ‘turns into a dragon’.

 **Bacchus:** …Well, I guess I can’t top that.

 **Cana:** No, no you can’t.

 **Lucy:** Cana. It’s not that I don’t think you can handle yourself, because I know you can, but is it _really_ a good idea to date the guy, or dragon, who tried to kill us?

 **Cana:** Aww, it’s fine, if he is really a lightweight, I can just throw him a bottle and get him drunk. He can’t do anything to hurt me when he’s falling over everywhere!

 **Lucy:** …And it doesn’t bother you at all that you had to plan for this?

 **Cana:** Nope!

 **Lucy:** …You didn’t have another drinking contest with her before this list started, did you?

 **Bacchus:** I don’t _think_ so.

 **Lucy:** Oh, how reassuring.

 **Erza:** Come now Lucy, there’s no need to be so sarcastic.

 **Lucy:** Well what else is there to do?

 **Erza:** This. [punches Bacchus in the face]

 **Zeref:** Why exactly is the most dangerous being on the planet dating an alcoholic young lady from the guild he tried to murder?

 **Acnologia:** I didn’t try to murder _all_ of them!

 **Zeref:** Perhaps not, but she was still with the group you _did_ try to kill.

 **Acnologia:** I didn’t see her there at the time?

 **Zeref:** Then how do you know her? Why did you two start a relationship?

 **Acnologia:** Uh, I don’t like this list anymore, let’s move on.

 **Zeref:** Don’t ignore me.

 **Acnologia:** Did anyone hear something?

 **Zeref:** Stop it.

 **Cana:** Nah, I don’t hear a thing.

 **Zeref:** You can’t ignore _me_.

 **Cana:** So shall we go now?

 **Gildarts:** No!

 **Acnologia:** Sounds good.

 **Zeref:** …I hate all of you.


	159. Chapter 159

**Mirajane and Lucy are dating!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Lisanna:** I’m so happy for you big sister! Lucy’s great, and I’m sure she’ll make you really happy!

 **Elfman:** And if not, then Mira probably has a long line of people she could date next.

 **Lisanna:** You know she isn’t like that! She wouldn’t date someone unless she really cared about them.

 **Elfman:** I _did_ say ‘ _could_ ’ date, not that she would.

 **Lisanna:** Oops, my bad!

 **Wakaba:** My heart is broken! How will I ever recover from this?!

 **Macao:** You’re _married_.

 **Wakaba:** But Mira is the only one who could ever make my happy!

 **Macao:** …Thanks. You know you’re such a _great_ pal, sticking with someone who you obviously aren’t happy with, you’re just _great_!

 **Wakaba:** …Where did this come from all of a sudden?

 **Macao:** …Nowhere. Nowhere at all.

 **Gray:** Well done Lucy, you got a good match there; Mira will definitely take care of you.

 **Gray:** And if she ever goes crazy and starts doing the opposite, then Erza can step in and stop her for you.

 **Erza:** Accurate.

 **Lucy:** Hey! I can take care of myself you know!

 **Gray:** Yeah I know, but this is _Mirajane_ we’re talking about here.

 **Lucy:** …Okay yeah, you have a point.

 **Mirajane:** I’m sorry? Did I hear the sound of someone implying that Erza could beat me?

 **Erza:** There’s no need to imply anything, our teenage years are perfect proof that yes, I can.

 **Mirajane:** Oh? You mean all those times I kicked your butt? Yeah, sure.

 **Bickslow:** Ooh, catfight!

 **Evergreen:** Yes, one that could tear the guildhall apart.

 **Evergreen:** Again.

 **Bickslow:** You never let me have any fun.

 **Evergreen:** That’s because your idea of ‘fun’ is crazy.

 **Bickslow:** It is not! Freed, back me up here?!

 **Freed:** My apologies Bickslow, but I must agree with Evergreen.

 **Bickslow:** Traitor! Laxus, wha-?

 **Laxus:** Don’t even bother, you should already know I think you’re nuts.

 **Bickslow:** …Rude.

 **Freed:** Getting back on topic, may I just say how happy I am for the two of you?

 **Lucy:** Aww thanks Freed!

 **Freed:** …

 **Bickslow:** Are you remembering the time we saw her in her swimsuit on Tenrou Island?

 **Freed:** NO!

 **Mirajane:** When was this?!

 **Freed:** Damn it Bickslow! Evergreen, help?

 **Evergreen:** Actually, I think I’m fine just staying back here.

 **Freed:** …

 **Lucy:** Just a handy tip, but I’d start running if I were you.

 **Freed:** Way ahead of you.

 **Mirajane:** Get back here!

 **Gray:** …And you’re sure you could beat her if she went crazy?

 **Erza:** …

 **Erza:** Yes?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I am not proud.


	160. Chapter 160

**Erza and Lucy are dating!**

(As requested by anon)

 

 **Jellal:** …

 **Meredy:** Jellal? Are you crying?

 **Jellal:** I’m not. There’s just something in my eye.

 **Cobra:** What? Tears?

 **Jellal:** _No_.

 **Angel:** So the fact that your eyes are puffy and there’s water running down your face means nothing?

 **Jellal:** I’m just happy for Erza okay!

 **Meredy:** So happy that you started crying?

 **Jellal:** [sighs] Yes.

 **Cobra:** You haven’t forgotten that I can hear your thoughts, right?

 **Jellal:** …No?

 **Cobra:** Oh yes. How convincing.

 **Lucy:** I’m so glad you’re okay with this Jellal! I was so worried you’d be upset-

 **Cobra:** He is.

 **Lucy:** -but you’re taking this so well-

 **Cobra:** He isn’t.

 **Lucy:** -and I guess this all just goes to show that a man and woman can be close without wanting to date each other!

 **Cobra:** He wanted to.

 **Jellal:** Erik. Be quiet.

 **Gray:** This is great you two! I’m so glad you guys are together, you must be so happy!

 **Erza and Lucy:** We are.

 **Gray:** Brilliant. Well the two of you deserve it.

 **Gray:** I hope the two of you can stay like that forever.

 **Entire Alvarez Empire:** Um…

 **Erza:** Thank you Gray. But I believe they all have different thoughts on the matter. [gestures to Entire Alvarez Empire]

 **Gray:** They don’t exist right now.

 **Erza:** They don’t?

 **Gray:** Nope. Not at all. They absolutely don’t exist.

 **Gray:** I’m so happy that you two are in love like this at a time when nothing can ruin that for you.

 **Entire Alvarez Empire:** _Um_ …

 **Gray:** So happy.

 **Mirajane:** Oh wow. Erza! Lucy!

 **Erza and Lucy:** Yes Mira?

 **Mirajane:** I’m so sorry!

 **Erza:** Sorry?

 **Mirajane:** Yes! I’m so sorry!

 **Lucy:** What could you ever be sorry for?

 **Mirajane:** For trying to set you up with other people! I should’ve known you two had feelings for one another.

 **Lucy:** Really, that’s oka-

 **Mirajane:** HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO BLIND?!?!

 **Lucy:** Um…

 **Erza:** I think it might be best if we leave her for now.

 **Lucy:** Agreed.

 **Makarov:** This is so heart-warming to see **.** I’m just so pleased to know that you two will support each other more than ever; now I don’t have to worry about you so much.

 **Laxus:** Cut the crap old man.

 **Makarov:** Wha-?

 **Laxus:** We all know that you’re like this because they’re both hot. Though I don’t see why you think that matters. You’ll never see anything. Erza would beat the crap out of you first.

 **Makarov:** Why I’d never-!

 **Laxus:** Yeah, yeah. You’re completely innocent and would never dream of peeking on them. We get it.

 **Laxus:** We also all want you to know that that’s _totally_ believable by the way.

 **Makarov:** …Rude.

 **Lucy:** Thank you, Laxus. I guess now we don’t have to worry about him trying to look at anything… private.

 **Laxus:** Whatever. I just don’t want anybody rubbing anything in my face; it’s annoying.

 **Lucy:** Well still, thanks, I guess.

 **Erza:** Lucy? I’m getting tired; do you want to go home with me?

 **Lucy:** Yeah, I’m pretty sleepy too.

 **Makarov:** …

 **Erza:** Then let’s go home.

 **Erza:** And master?

 **Makarov:** Yes, Erza?

 **Erza:** No peeking.

 **Makarov:** …Rude.


End file.
